


(make it up) as we go along

by airplanewishes



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Angst, Best Friends, Dreams, F/M, Female Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Female EXO, Female Kim Joonmyun | Suho, Fluff, Minor Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol, Minor Kim Jongdae | Chen/Zhang Li Yin, Minor Kim Joonmyun | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, New York, New York City, Perfect Park Chanyeol, Romance, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 11:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11289684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airplanewishes/pseuds/airplanewishes
Summary: Kyungsoo wants things that she thinks she can't have.





	(make it up) as we go along

 

  **(make it up) as we go along**

The bell has just started to ring and the classroom is already half empty—chairs and tables are pushed aside carelessly to make way for the end of the school week and the freedom of the weekend. Kyungsoo stays in her seat, humming a song under her breath and carefully opening her organizer, clearly unwilling to join the rush of overexcited students who act as though they’ve never experienced a weekend before. She closes her eyes at the ungainly thought, counting to ten before opening them again. Such thoughts of hers should really be controlled lest she starts saying them out loud. Kyungsoo turns in her seat to find Jongdae. It’s already 4:10 and if they take much longer, Chanyeol’s probably going to go berserk looking for her. Then they’ll be even later and then she’ll probably be late for dinner. Dinner at the Do household is something you’re never late for, which Jongdae should really know by now. But Jongdae is still busy flirting with the cheerleading vice captain and, despite being annoyed; Kyungsoo is never one to ruin a friend’s game. There may have been times that such a thing has happened—but they were never intentional—and Kyungsoo has paid dearly for them in terms of homework help.

Slowly, she stands up, gathers her things and quietly makes her way out of a room. She’s just closed the door when she hears familiar rushed footsteps approaching.

“Hey!” Chanyeol greets her, panting. “I was just coming to get you.” He peers in the small glass on the classroom door and snickers. “So that’s why. Does Jongdae know that he actually has no chance with her? Seriously, that chick is hot.” He moves away from the door and takes Kyungsoo’s books from her arms.

“You’ve got to give him credit for guts,” Kyungsoo comments with a small smile as they walk to her locker. “Everyone’s so intimidated by her, you’d think she’d eat you if you so much as smile at her. I don’t get it.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen at her. “Soo, have you seen her—?” He interrupts himself and clears his throat, cheeks pinking. “You never know whether she’s happy or sad or pissed off with that stoic face of hers. But yeah, she’s intimidating alright.”

Kyungsoo merely rolls her eyes. “Boys,” she mutters. They reach Kyungsoo’s locker and she does the combination on the padlock. “Are Joonmyun and Kris waiting outside? Because I don’t think Jongdae’s going to be done any time soon,” she says, getting her books from Chanyeol and putting them back inside, while taking out some of the things she will be needing for homework.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol answers promptly, reaching out to take Kyungsoo’s bag from her after she closes her locker to which she slaps his hand away. “Joonmyun’s been going on and on about this musical that the drama club is planning to stage at the end of the year and—.”

“I don’t think I can stay out so late tonight,” she interrupts him with an apologetic smile. She has homework she wants to get done before she starts on her extra work. She blows out a breath, her cheeks puffing out as they walk towards the school entrance. The halls of the school are eerily and uncharacteristically quiet but high school is really easily forgotten once that final bell of the week rings.

Chanyeol’s face falls. “It’s Friday, Soo,” he whines and Kyungsoo can’t help but smile. This is a regular occurrence between them—Chanyeol wanting to hang out and Kyungsoo not being able to. “I wanted to go see that Michael J. Fox movie. You know with the cool car that’s actually a time travelling device?”

“ _Back To The Future_ ,” Jongdae pipes in, suddenly appearing on Kyungsoo’s other side. He slings an arm around her shoulders. “I thought we were watching _The Breakfast Club_. Doesn’t Joonmyun have a thing for that Emilio guy?”

“Don’t let Kris hear you say that,” Chanyeol mutters as they exit the building and they see Joonmyun and Kris making out by the ledge.

“Get a room!” Jongdae yells obnoxiously, jumping on Kris’s back and effectively pulling him away from Joonmyun, who pouts rather cutely. It sounds like Kris growls but Jongdae just laughs and keeps himself on Kris’s back.

“Took you guys long enough,” Joonmyun says as she jumps off the ledge, hugging her books close to her chest. She watches with a hint of worry on her lips as Kris walks towards the gate with Jongdae still on his back with Chanyeol lagging behind them, making sure that Jongdae doesn’t do anything stupid and fall.

“Jongdae’s fault,” Kyungsoo tattles with a straight face, nodding towards the dynamic duo. “Still going after the cheerleader of his dreams.” She turns towards Joonmyun and smiles sheepishly as she rubs a smudge of lipstick off the side of Joonmyun’s cheek.

“Liyin?” Joonmyun clears her throat, cheeks pinking as she fixes her baby doll dress. “Man, does he have guts.”

“Well she is letting him talk to her,” Kyungsoo says, which admittedly is a really interesting thing. Liyin shut Chanyeol down before he could even say anything. She had also landed a punch on Zitao’s face when he tried to pull a fast one on her. The girl is tough. “Maybe there’s something about Jongdae.”

“Hey watch out!” Joonmyun yells when Kris and Jongdae nearly get themselves run over by a beat up pick-up truck. “How are your classes going?”

“Good. You know me,” Kyungsoo answers, almost smugly. She has a right to be smug because she’s always been in the top five percent of her year. It’s something that’s expected of her and something that’s become a habit for her to achieve.

“How about your other classes?” Joonmyun then asks, tucking a strand of her dark reddish hair behind her ear, jostling her headband slightly.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo tells her, this time with a sigh.

“You work too hard, you know that?” Joonmyun wraps an arm around her and squeezes her lightly. Kyungsoo leans her head on Joonmyun’s shoulder for a second, cherishing the warm gesture. “You’re a junior. You shouldn’t be working like you’re going to grad school next year.”

Kyungsoo merely shrugs. There isn’t much she can do about that at this point. She needs extra classes if she wants to land a good law university when she graduates from high school. She knows how important it is to prepare for her future and she’s not going to let things go to chance. As much as she can, she is going to secure that positive future.

“So, are we watching your pick of movie or Jongdae’s time travel one?” Kyungsoo asks instead.

“Mine of course,” Joonmyun tells her knowingly. She looks up and yells to the boys as they approach them, “We’re all watching Emilio be all handsome!” She gasps when Kris drops Jongdae to the ground when he whips around to glare at her.

Kyungsoo runs to help their friend out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Kyungsoo, dear,” her mother calls as she lightly knocks on her door before opening it.

Kyungsoo looks up from her prone position on the bed, eyes leaving her book. “Yes mother?” she asks, tucking her hair behind her ear, judging by how her mom looks so made up for a Wednesday evening, they probably have some fundraiser to go to.

“Your father and I are leaving for the charity benefit at The Met,” her mother explains and Kyungsoo holds back a smile that her theory is correct. Her parents are always attending such events that Kyungsoo is never surprised anymore. “Are you going to be staying home the entire evening?”

Kyungsoo glances at the clock on her bedside table. It reads 6:27. “Chanyeol’s probably coming over in an hour or so,” she tells her, meeting her gaze. “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course, dear,” her mother says, chuckling. Her parents have long seen how much Kyungsoo relies on Chanyeol and his friendship. She moves closer to the bed and sits on the edge, peering at what Kyungsoo’s reading. “You’re pretty serious about law school,” she then comments rather proudly. “I’ve never seen you this dedicated about something before. You must really want it.”

“Yes, well,” is Kyungsoo’s response, partnering it with a half shrug. There isn’t much she can say about it.

“Well, remind Chanyeol to get home before midnight,” her mother advises as she gets up. “It’s not safe to be out on the streets so late.”

Kyungsoo watches as her mother walks out of the room, the skirt of her long powder blue gown barely missing the door closing. She buries her face into the law textbook that she’s reading and lets out a long breath. Her father is one of the most highly esteemed lawyers in the country and Kyungsoo can still remember her parents’ faces when she agreed to study law in university just like he did. Her mother had reached for her father’s hand across the dining table, her diamond ring glinting under the lights as she squeezed his hand. There were big, bright smiles on their faces, like this is something they’ve been dreaming of since they brought her into this world. Kyungsoo’s never seen them so proud and excited over something that she’s doing before.

Sighing, she lifts her head up and closes the book, moving to lie on her back and stare at the ceiling. Her brother is currently in his second year of law school at Harvard. Once in a while, he calls or sends her a letter telling her how he’s been doing. Kyungsoo is never surprised to find out that he is doing very well. Her brother has always been an achiever, something that seems to be expected in the family. Meanwhile, her mother didn’t practice law, but she did take it up in university. Kyungsoo thinks it’s interesting how their family is filled with lawyers.

Leaning back on the baby pink headboard of her bed, she reaches for the remote and turns the television on as she waits for Chanyeol to arrive. Rob Lowe is on screen and Kyungsoo just has to watch even if it’s just a promotion for his new movie, sighing dreamily because he’s just so nice to look at. If she ever decides to have a boyfriend, Rob Lowe is definitely a good basis. She then switches the channel to MTV and bristles with excitement because a Whitney Houston music video is on. She stands on her bed and, using the remote control, she sings along to _Saving All My Love For You_. She pretends she’s on stage, copying the way Whitney Houston curls the notes with her tongue.

This is how Chanyeol finds her. He stands in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, an amused smile on his lips. Kyungsoo just waves him in and he closes to door behind him, sitting on the edge of the bed. She plops back down on her back when the song is over, pulling Chanyeol down with her.

“What’s up?” Chanyeol asks, sounding concerned. He shifts on the bed to face her, reaching out to brush her hair away from her face.

Kyungsoo smiles because she and Chanyeol have been friends for so long for Chanyeol not to know what she’s feeling at any given point in time. She’s not the easiest person to read, her friends always telling her that her face is always so stoic, or so some of their friends tell her, but Chanyeol has always known how to read her.

Kyungsoo just sighs. “Why didn’t we go out and watch a movie tonight or something?” she asks, half whining. She knows the answer to this, though. Joonmyun and Kris always go out on Wednesdays, despite it being the middle of the week because it’s the day when they met and, apparently, Joonmyun is the type of girlfriend to celebrate all the small details. That, and Jongdae sucks, deciding to stay behind in school and watch cheerleading practice. Also, Chanyeol had band practice.

“I knew you might be feeling like that,” Chanyeol grins. He sits up and leans down to grab his bag that he’s dropped on the floor. “Guess what I have?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down as he holds up a VHS tape.

“I’m guessing that’s not a Molly Ringwald movie,” Kyungsoo says, knowing perfectly well what that tape contains.

“Nope! _Miami Vice_!” Chanyeol announces happily, getting off the bed and crawling over to her TV and VHS player. “My sister taped it for me, the kind soul that she is,” he tells her as he slots the tape in, switching the TV settings to accommodate the video.

“She only taped it for you because she wanted to avoid you whining over missing an episode endlessly,” Kyungsoo says, rolling her eyes. “Like she’s the one who has to endure all of it.” The one time that Chanyeol had missed an episode, he grumbled about it for a week that Kyungsoo had to compensate by feeding him tubs of ice cream, as well as fixing him up on a date with Krystal. She smiles at the memory. That had made him shut up.

Chanyeol crawls back into bed with her, tucking her to his side, an arm around her shoulders, their backs resting on the pillows propped against the headboard. “Shush,” he tells her. “ _Miami Vice_ is gold. Missing it is a crime.”

“Whatever,” she mutters, but she snuggles into him, feeling warm and comforted even if he hasn’t really done anything. Chanyeol, being her best friend, just has that effect on her. He always just seems to know what to do.

One time, when they were much younger, Kyungsoo had scraped her knee on the playground. She had cried like a baby because she was hurt, but more because she knew her mother was going to scold her for being so careless. Chanyeol didn’t say anything. He just picked her up, carried her on his back and brought her home, where he cleaned her wound and indulged her by watching all the cartoons that she liked with her.

They’re halfway into the episode when Chanyeol sort of stiffens in surprise. “Hey, a friend of mine is moving here,” he tells her, moving his shoulder, her head bouncing slightly.

“Which friend?” Kyungsoo asks, yawning. _Miami Vice_ was never her thing, only watching it because Chanyeol likes it so much.

“A childhood friend of mine,” he says conversationally, grinning. “Remember how we used to live in Florida until we moved to New York? They’re finally moving here. Apparently my parents are still in touch with his parents.”

“Sounds nice,” she mumbles, closing her eyes, way too sleepy to care. Chanyeol notices and shakes his head. He removes his arm from around her and slowly lowers her to the bed. “Don’t go yet,” she asks, turning to wrap an arm around his waist.

“I won’t,” he promises, running his fingers through her hair, smiling fondly as he turns back to the television.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ _And now, open your eyes and see. What we have made is real. We are in Xanaduuu_ ,” Jongdae sings, arms wide open as they go through the entrance of Empire Roller Skating Center.

They’re greeted with a beautifully spacious roller skating rink doused in dim blue, pink and purple lights, giving the ring an almost eclectic ethereal glow. There are tables, chairs and couches on the sides, surrounding the rink, with the skates rental counter on the right side and the snack bar on the other end. Kyungsoo thinks it’s all very pretty, except that Jongdae is ruining the mood with his singing.

Jongdae continues singing with a flourish and Kris _accidentally_ elbows him directly in the chest.

“Sorry,” Kris mutters distractedly, putting an arm around Joonmyun and steering her towards the snack bar, where Lu Han, the birthday girl, is hanging out with some other girls. Lu Han is more Joonmyun’s friend than theirs, but as with all parties, everyone ends up invited.

“I wonder what Liyin would think of you when she finds out you’re into this cheesy musical movies crap,” Chanyeol mutters loud enough for Jongdae to overhear. Kyungsoo hides a smile behind her hand.

“Hey,” Jongdae retorts indignantly, rubbing the spot where Kris’s pointy elbow hit him. “Don’t hate the music because of the movie.” He grins widely.

“Oh look,” Kyungsoo pipes in, pointing on the other side of the rink. “Liyin’s here.”

Jongdae’s ears perk up at this and in an instant he’s gone. They watch as Jongdae approaches her and her cheerleader friends with candy that he snagged from Joonmyun, who’s just gotten it from Kris.

“Good job,” Chanyeol chuckles as he and Kyungsoo make their way to the skate rentals. He gets a size 10 for himself and a five and a half for Kyungsoo.

“You know I’m not going to skate,” Kyungsoo reminds him with a small smile. She thinks falling on her ass once is enough roller skating experience for her, even when Chanyeol, Jongdae and even Kris promise not to let her fall. She insists that it’s not her thing because it really isn’t. Why insist on something she knows is not going to work for her?

Chanyeol sighs as he laces up his skates, putting Kyungsoo’s pair down on the seat beside Kyungsoo. “Yell when you need me,” he tells her, patting her head as he stands up, testing the skates.

“I always do,” she calls after him when he gets into the rink, skating fast (after he slips a couple of times) after Joonmyun and Kris, who are holding hands of course. Most of the time, she doesn’t even have to yell. Chanyeol is just there immediately even before she knows she needs him.

Kyungsoo watches interestedly for a second as Kris pushes Chanyeol away from him and Joonmyun rather violently, making Chanyeol crash into two poor unsuspecting girls. She doesn’t find out what happens to them after they all fall into a heap and gets up to return her skates. She really isn’t going to be skating, not like she ever does. She’s there because it is a party, because Chanyeol and Joonmyun insisted that she come. It’s not like there’s anything better to do at home anyway. It’s one of those days where Kyungsoo would rather be out than be at home with all the studying that she has to do.

On her way to the snack bar, she bumps into several people, smiling and saying hi as politely as she could. Kyungsoo has never been that friendly, only choosing to stick to the people she knows, which are mainly the current friends that she has. They’re the ones she’s known since before she knew what it was to be friendly to people. Chanyeol and Jongdae are the two she’s known the longest, only having met Joonmyun and Kris when she was in fifth grade, back when she still had courage to do things.

“You look lost.”

Kyungsoo looks up from where she’s stirring her orange juice because a lot of juice dregs settle at the bottom, always giving an unpleasant first sip, and raises an eyebrow when she finds someone whom she doesn’t know. He’s wearing some tight acid washed jeans with a white shirt underneath an acid washed jean jacket, which immediately alerts Kyungsoo to the fact that he’s not from around here. She rarely sees people wearing acid washed clothing at her school. She just averts her gaze and returns to her juice. After all the stirring, the first sip is a lot more satisfying.

“I could say the same about you,” she responds.

He chuckles, taking a seat beside her on the makeshift “bar” and ordering a Coke. “That obvious, huh?”

“Haven’t you heard of blending in?” she teases him with a smile, watching as his eyes light up in surprise. It’s no secret to Kyungsoo that she’s attractive, maybe not in the way Joonmyun is attractive to both men _and_ women at the same time but she carries her own weight. “You should be out there,” she adds, nodding towards the rink, where more people have definitely gotten in to join on the fun. She can see Jongdae hobbling after Liyin and her friends, giggling as they tease Liyin about all the attention.

“I could say the same about you,” he snorts. “Why aren’t _you_ blending in?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes find their way towards the rink once more. That’s what she’s been trying to do all her seventeen years of existence, blending in. She’s attending the high school where her parents and her brother went to, goes to the parties that their family is required an attendance in, and she’s going to take up pre-law so she can take up law and be a lawyer, just like everyone else in her family. Isn’t that enough blending in?

“Sensitive question, I see.” He leans back on his seat when she doesn’t reply. His Coke is finished, sitting there, the condensation wetting the table. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I mean, no, it’s not a sensitive question.” He raises his eyebrows in amusement. “Just that, I thought I was good at that. You know, blending in.”

He laughs, really laughs, head thrown back, hands clasped on the edge of the counter to keep himself from falling, and Kyungsoo feels her cheeks pinking. “Have you seen yourself?” he asks, giving her a pointed look.

Frowning, she looks down at her clothes. Collared white shirt, light yellow long skirt, and white jelly shoes. Everyone wears the same thing. In New York, at least. “I think I blend in pretty well,” she tells him, reaching up to play with her black, ponytailed hair.

“If you say so,” he replies, shrugging as if giving up.

Kyungsoo rolls her eyes, turning away from him and looking for Chanyeol and the others. She doesn’t have to explain herself to him. She’s never explained herself to anyone before and she’s not going to start now, much less with a stranger.

Chanyeol and Kris are hanging out by the rink entrance, talking about something, as Joonmyun seems to have decided to skate with Lu Han and their other girl friends. Jongdae, surprisingly, is skating side by side with Liyin. Kyungsoo can tell by the concentration on his face that he’s trying to think of a way to hold her hand.

A cheer erupts in the crowd when the theme song of the popular movie _The Breakfast Club_ plays. It’s not the best song choice for a skating song, but it is popular and makes the guys skate along with their girlfriends.

“I love this song,” Kyungsoo says, singing along.

The guy beside her watches her with more surprise than the whole time they’ve been sitting beside each other. Kyungsoo decides she doesn’t care and just continues singing along until he ends up chuckling next to her and bobbing his head to the beat of the music.

“What are you doing over here?” Jongdae appears beside her, looking grumpy, a hand on her wrist. “Everyone’s looking for you.” He pulls at her and she gets off the seat, following after Jongdae.

Before they disappear in the crowd, Kyungsoo glances back and throws a hasty wave in the other guy’s direction. The last thing she sees before Jongdae shoves her towards Chanyeol is his bright smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo slaps Jongdae’s hands off her homework and Jongdae whines, pouting as he rubs his hands off of the pain. “This is my hard work and you are not getting a piece of it,” she adamantly states.

“Whatever happened to sharing?” Jongdae whines. He flips through his textbook haphazardly.

“When are you going to let me copy _your_ homework, Jongdae?” Kyungsoo tells him with a slightly patronizing smile, making Jongdae narrows his eyes at her. Kris chuckles beside Jongdae, eyes focused on his own homework.

“I have the meanest and most stingy friends in the world,” Jongdae complains, leaning his head on Kris’s shoulder and nuzzling his face on it.

“If you get gunk on my sweater,” Kris warns him.

“I don’t wear gunk,” Jongdae says defensively, but he lifts his head off Kris’s shoulder. He glares at Chanyeol, who was about to open his mouth to say otherwise and closes it to smile guiltily instead. Everyone knows that Jongdae has taken to applying some makeup on his face if only to cover the few pimples that he has. Everyone knows it’s all because of Liyin.

“Where’s Joonmyun?” Kyungsoo asks as she packs her books and notes into her back. Jongdae mourns.

“Early drama club meeting,” Kris answers monotonously, eyebrows furrowed probably because he can’t figure out how to go about the math problem that he’s solving. He’s intense like that. “They’re planning auditions for—“

“Kyungsoo!” Joonmyun appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and sits on her other side. She pulls out a flyer and practically stuffs it in Kyungsoo’s face. “You _have to_!”

“What exactly do I _have to_?” Kyungsoo asks calmly, pulling the flyer away from her face so she can get a good look at it. “No,” is all she says at the first word that she sees. She then slaps it face down on the table.

Joonmyun’s mouth drops open as everyone looks up in shock. Chanyeol takes the flyer and just chuckles dryly when he gets a good look at it, handing it to Jongdae, who frowns. Kyungsoo ignores Joonmyun’s stare as she continues packing her things. First period is about to start.

“Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun starts, but Kyungsoo shakes her head.

“No, Joonmyun,” Kyungsoo repeats firmly. “You know I’m not cut out for those things. I’m not a singer and I’m most certainly not an actress.” She gets up. Chanyeol scurries to gather his things.

Kyungsoo isn’t sure why her friends continuously push her to do auditions for singing. She’s not a singer, never having any formal training, and she’s not really interested in it either. It baffles her how they can keep on requesting her to try out and showcase her voice. She’s already done that once. She thinks that was enough.

“You could be nicer, you know,” Chanyeol quietly says as they walk to their class. “Joonmyun means well.”

Kyungsoo closes her eyes for a second. “I know she does,” she yields. She plays the ends of her hair, twirling it with a finger. “I know,” she repeats. “But I am not a singer. What’s the point of asking me to do something I can’t do? I don’t even like singing.”

Chanyeol is quiet, lips pursed in a straight line. Kyungsoo knows she’s upset him but she just sighs and walks into the classroom quietly. She takes her seat, watching from the doorway as Chanyeol stands there for a second as if deciding what to do before he leaves for his class.

It’s rare that Chanyeol gets upset with her, rarer when he lets her see it. He has a way of keeping things, mostly his emotions, to himself that no one, not even Kyungsoo, gets to understand what it is. If he’s showing people, in this case Kyungsoo, how he’s feeling, then he probably intends her to know. It’s not that Kyungsoo is being ungrateful that her friends are looking out for her. She has just never liked people pushing her to do things she doesn’t want to do.

Before she can start to wonder how to offer some sort of apology to her best friend, their teacher arrives with a new student. She looks up as their teacher clears his throat and her eyes alight on the new student in front. It’s that same curved jaw, ears slightly sticking out, and that smile that spreads his mouth into a square from Lu Han’s roller skating party. Said boy, Baekhyun Byun from Florida, raises an eyebrow when he sees her, making her blink at him in surprise. He sits down on the only empty seat, which happens to be right beside Kyungsoo.

“This is quite some surprise,” he comments, leaning slightly towards her. A half shrug is her only answer. “Don’t you think it’s fair that you give me your name now that you know mine?” he then asks, leaning even closer.

“I didn’t ask you for yours, though. It was offered,” Kyungsoo says with a smile, nodding towards their teacher, who has begun to discuss Romeo and Juliet. She turns towards him, tucking her hair behind her ear. “But it’s nice to meet you, Baekhyun Byun.”

Baekhyun leans back on his seat, a smirk on his face, and lets Kyungsoo be for the rest of the class. Kyungsoo is grateful for this because, she is more concerned about the fact that Chanyeol is upset with her than some guy she’s just met.

As soon as the morning classes are over, all of which she has none with Chanyeol, she makes her way to the cafeteria and over to their usual table. Only Jongdae and Kris are there, heads both bent over some music magazine. Kyungsoo plops down across from them, Jongdae jumps and knocks his head on Kris’s chin. He hurriedly moves away when Kris growls in pain.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo hastily apologizes, looking around. “Have you seen Chanyeol?” Jongdae shakes his head. “How about Joonmyun?” she asks Kris, who looks at her.

“I doubt you’re really interested where she is,” Kris pointedly answers.

Kyungsoo sighs. “Kris, I’m sorry about earlier,” she sincerely tells him. “But I hope you also understand that I’m not going to be able to do much for her drama club.”

“I doubt that, but okay,” Kris replies with a deep breath. “Student council meeting. She’s having lunch at the student council office.” Joonmyun is so busy with so many extracurricular activities that it’s amazing how she still gets to find time for something like a boyfriend. Kyungsoo can’t even imagine having a boyfriend with how busy she is.

“Why are you looking for Chanyeol anyway?” Jongdae asks curiously. “He normally picks you up after morning classes.” He picks at the edge of the music magazine and Kris slaps his hands off.

“Yes, well, Joonmyun isn’t the only one who’s upset with me,” Kyungsoo explains.

“Joonmyun isn’t mad at you,” Kris tells her, blinking with surprise. “If there’s one person she doesn’t get mad at, it’s you, Kyungsoo.” He snickers. “She gets mad at me for the smallest of things, but even if you end the world singlehandedly, she’ll probably hold your hand through it all.”

Kyungsoo rolls her eyes. “Stop being dramatic,” she laughs.

“So you want to apologize to Chanyeol, is that it?” Jongdae asks, getting right back to the topic.

“Yeah, something like that,” Kyungsoo admits. Chanyeol will probably brush off her apology like he wasn’t upset with her at all, but Kyungsoo thinks a spontaneous movie outing will do just fine.

“Well here he comes,” Jongdae announces, nodding behind Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo turns in her seat, an apology on her lips, which dies when she sees whom Chanyeol is approaching with. Baekhyun grins at her, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of her, from underneath Chanyeol’s arm. Kyungsoo is also surprised to find Baekhyun wearing black, still skinny pants with a plain black shirt and a printed blazer, not having noticed earlier. Far from his initial acid wash get up.

“Guys, this is Baekhyun,” Chanyeol introduces him, making Baekhyun sit beside Kyungsoo; Chanyeol settles on Baekhyun’s other side. “My childhood friend. He’s just moved here from Florida.”

“Florida, huh,” Jongdae muses, leaning interestedly across the table. “Do you get to go to _Miami Vice_ shooting locations? Are they actually as cool as they are in the show?”

“Well, I actually lived in Orlando,” Baekhyun tells him with a small smirk. “I don’t really go to South Beach so I wouldn’t know.”

Jongdae flinches in embarrassment as they all laugh, Kyungsoo muffling hers with a hand. Baekhyun grins. Kris asks him a serious question about Florida, which Baekhyun answers with equal seriousness, and the conversation starts to flow smoothly after that, Baekhyun only catching their names in between sentences. It’s amazing how Baekhyun seems to mesh well with people he’s just met so quickly.

Somewhere in the middle of the discussion, Baekhyun nudges her lightly with an elbow, nodding at her with a smile as if to say _I guess we’re friends now_. Kyungsoo sighs resignedly.

“Kyungsoo Do,” she finally tells him her name.

Baekhyun blinks at her in surprise before his eyes crinkle at the corners when his face breaks into a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Kyungsoo Do,” he says with delight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun weaves his way into Kyungsoo’s group of friends like he’s always been there. With his jokes, lighthearted demeanor and charm, everyone ends up wanting to be his best friend in no time. In the short time that they’ve known him, he ends up helping out Joonmyun in her extracurricular activities, being Jongdae’s gaming partner, and dispenses fashion advice to Kris, who has been considering shifting his look from preppy to punk (something that Joonmyun is horrified with). Baekhyun is with them all the time that Kyungsoo isn’t really that surprised when she finds Baekhyun in Chanyeol’s house when she comes over for their weekly movie marathon.

Chanyeol is on the floor, busy drawing with his tongue out, while Baekhyun is asleep, curled up into himself on the bed. Kyungsoo puts down her bag on the floor beside the foot of the bed and sits down beside her best friend. She watches in silence as he finishes the shading on what seems to be the façade of Chanyeol’s house in perfect likeness. She thinks Chanyeol would be a good architect someday, but she knows he’s leaning towards doing fine arts in the future.

“What movie are we watching?” Chanyeol asks when he looks at her for the first time. He wraps an arm around her, squeezing her in greeting before letting go to pack his drawing stuff.

“Your favorite!” Kyungsoo announces as he holds out the VHS tape.

Chanyeol groans. “ _Sixteen Candles_. That’s _your_ favorite.” But he loads the tape anyway.

“What’s he doing here?” she then asks, nodding towards Baekhyun, who has started snoring quietly.

“He wanted to hang out,” Chanyeol explains. “But he seemed really tired so I let him sleep.” He nudges her gently as they settle on the floor, their backs leaning on the foot of the bed. “Thank you for being nice to him, by the way.”

“He’s your friend,” Kyungsoo says, raising her eyebrows at him. “Of course I’m nice to him.”

“Yeah, but you know,” Chanyeol continues softly. “I know it’s not exactly your thing, letting people in.”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo mutters with a frown. She knows what Chanyeol is saying, knows that everyone knows how picky she is with people. If she’s honest, she still isn’t that comfortable with having Baekhyun around, but since she’s being honest, she can also see how much fun everyone’s having with Baekhyun. “I’m not that bad.”

“I know,” Chanyeol sighs in assurance, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a light kiss to the crown of her head. “I know,” he repeats. “I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate it. He hasn’t had the easiest time so I’m glad that my best friend is making an effort to like him.”

“I’m going to make such a big effort he’s not going to know what hit him,” Kyungsoo declares stoutly and Chanyeol laughs.

“Thank you,” he says dotingly. “Now be quiet, _Jake Ryan_ is talking.”

As expected, Chanyeol falls asleep even before anything of significance happens in the movie. Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol’s head loll for a bit, neck bent at an uncomfortable angle before she takes pity on him and pauses the movie to get him a pillow.

“Hey, I was watching that.”

Kyungsoo trips over her own bag, startled. Baekhyun laughs from the bed, sitting upright, back leaning on the headboard.

“How long have you been awake?” Kyungsoo asks, hand on her heart. She grabs a pillow, making sure to take the one Baekhyun is resting on so he would hit his head, and puts it underneath Chanyeol’s head so he can lean back and rest it there.

“Since the beginning of the movie,” Baekhyun confesses. “Chanyeol snores so loudly.” He pats the empty space beside him on the bed. “Come sit with me,” he offers. “It’s more fun to watch romantic comedies when the one you’re watching it with is actually awake.”

Kyungsoo hesitates before climbing on the bed and settles beside him. She plays the movie and they continue watching in silence. Kyungsoo smiles whenever Jake Ryan is on screen, unable to help but sigh dreamily as well. If Baekhyun notices, which he probably does, he doesn’t say anything. If it were Chanyeol, he would be quietly laughing at how hopeless she is.

She finds that it is nice watching these movies with someone who appreciates them like she does. Baekhyun doesn’t smile every time Jake Ryan, not even when Sam Baker, appears on screen, neither does he sigh dreamily, but he laughs at the right parts and comments, sometimes in complaint, when the scene calls for it. Chanyeol has never finished watching any of the movies she likes with her, which she can understand because she practically just forces these movies on him, the way he kind of does with her with _Miami Vice_.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly stiffening. “Does that mean you heard what Chanyeol and I were talking about?”

Baekhyun is quiet for a bit before he answers. “Yeah.”

“It’s nothing personal,” Kyungsoo tells him after a moment, composing her thoughts as she watches Sam hand her panties to Ted.

“I’m not offended,” Baekhyun assures her, shifting slightly in his position on the bed. “Besides,” he goes on with a grin at her, “you did already say that you were going to make a really big effort to like me more. I think that makes up for it.”

Kyungsoo bristles with indignation. “I never said I liked you,” she corrects him.

“Oh really? Well, then, I have a mission. I am going to make you like me so much that you’re going to be very sad when I leave,” Baekhyun proclaims with a laugh.

Kyungsoo scoffs. “If anyone’s going to be liking anyone here, it’ll be you. You’re probably going to end up liking me way more than I will you,” she challenges him. “ _You_ ’re going to be a sobbing mess when you do leave.” She frowns. “Are you leaving? You just got here.” She thinks of Chanyeol, who seems really happy to be reunited with an old friend.

Baekhyun freezes for a second before he bursts into laughter. “Are you sad already, Kyungsoo Do? We barely just started,” he teases. He pokes her cheek in amusement.

She slaps his hand away. “Not a chance, Baekhyun _Byun_ ,” she retorts, making a face at him. She glances at the television and gets annoyed for a second that she’s missing the movie, not caring that she’s watched it so many times before.

“So it’s a deal then?” he presses teasingly, fixing the pillow on his back. “What does the winner get?”

“Isn’t the other being sad enough satisfaction to you?” Kyungsoo reminds him with an eyebrow raised.

“How about a kiss?” Baekhyun suggests, his eyes glinting with mischief.

Kyungsoo snorts in a very unladylike manner but she doesn’t care. There is no way Baekhyun is going to talk his way into this. “Are you out of your mind? In your dreams! There’s no way you’re going to get to kiss me.”

“Well, when you think about it, when you do end up liking me so much, you’re really going to want to kiss me,” Baekhyun tells her with a knowing smile that Kyungsoo wants to punch off his face.

“There’s no way you’re winning this,” Kyungsoo tells him surely. “I am 100% sure of this.” She’s had experience with boys like Baekhyun, who charm their way into everything, and she knows just how to handle them.

“So what’s the problem then?” Baekhyun challenges her. “If you do win, you don’t even have to kiss me. The winner has the option to not do anything.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down, canines showing with his wide smile.

“This is ridiculous,” Kyungsoo mutters, shaking her head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re scared to lose,” Baekhyun says in a singsong voice that grates on Kyungsoo’s nerves. “Are you scared, Do?”

She grabs Baekhyun’s hand, practically pulling his arm out of its socket, and shakes it. “Be prepared to lose, Byun.”

“Deal.” Baekhyun winks at her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo sighs as Chanyeol pulls at his hair, grabbing his hand and putting it back down on the table. He’s studying for an exam and she’s helping calm him down in the library. She pats his hair down and closes his notes.

“Soo,” Chanyeol complains.

“You need a break,” she insists. She gestures to the table and prompts him to lay his head on it. “Just nap for like five minutes. You need to calm down and relax. When you wake up, I’ll help you study. Okay?”

Chanyeol looks hesitant, afraid that he would lose study time. He’s not the best at history, him and memorization never having gotten along, and if he fails the test tomorrow, there’s a big chance that he’s going to fail the class. He’d rather not have history as a companion during the summer. But he takes a deep breath and nods, propping his arms on the table and resting his head on it.

“Five minutes,” Chanyeol mumbles, eyes closed, already half asleep.

Kyungsoo watches as Chanyeol relaxes into his position, gently brushing his bangs away from his eyes. Chanyeol works so hard in everything that he does, especially in the things that he’s most passionate about. School isn’t really one of those things but he knows the importance of it, knows that if he doesn’t excel, the chance of him being able to do what he loves in the best possible way he can in the future can be out of reach. And how he wants to be able to do art really well, whether it is in drawing or music.

She opens his notes and scans the parts where he’s having difficulty in. In the name of best friendship, she writes down an outline and a way for him to be able to memorize things easier and more efficiently. Hopefully it works for him the way it works for her.

She’s in the middle of the outline when someone sits down beside her uninvited. It’s after school and the others know that Chanyeol is in dire need of studying so they know better than to come and interrupt.

Except for Baekhyun, who seems to not care.

“Is he okay?” Baekhyun asks, nodding towards Chanyeol, who lets out a snore. Kyungsoo glances at Chanyeol, rubbing his back for a bit, before dropping her hand and turning to Baekhyun.

“Can I help you with something?” Kyungsoo doesn’t mean to sound unkind, but that’s what she comes across as if only because she gets easily annoyed with Baekhyun these days.

Ever since they made that stupid bet, which really isn’t that big of a deal because in reality, it’s never going to happen. That liking each other more thing? They’d be lucky if they ended up liking each other _at all_. Now, Kyungsoo has never thought that Baekhyun was bad. She thinks he’s funny and witty and is a total mood maker. He manages to make even Kris, the ever grumpy looking one, and Joonmyun, the eternally stressed one, break out into laughter in the midst of their distresses. Even so, she knows he’s not that great and Kyungsoo treats him as one of them because he makes everyone happy and always lightens things up. That’s probably how their relationship is going to be forever.

Baekhyun seems to think otherwise and that cockiness is really beginning to annoy her.

Baekhyun just chuckles and rests his chin on his palm, elbow propped on the table. “Can I help? I’m pretty good with history,” he offers, peering into the reviewer that she’s writing.

“We’ve got things under control, thank you,” she shuts him down and returns to writing.

Baekhyun hums and takes something out of his backpack. “I’ve created a mix for the thing he’s supposed to memorize,” he tells her, placing the cassette tape on the table as he stands up. “Helped me a lot.” Kyungsoo gapes at him questioningly. He grins. “I’m taking the same test tomorrow.”

Baekhyun winks at her and is off before she can say anything. Kyungsoo stares at the tape for a couple of seconds before she takes Chanyeol’s Walkman out of his backpack to play the mix Baekhyun made. As much as she is annoyed with Baekhyun at the moment, she can’t deny Chanyeol the chance to study better.

As Kyungsoo listens to the tape, she can’t help but be surprised at the selection of songs and how it was mixed all together. She also can’t help but notice that Baekhyun knew how to sing, and could sing well. It also doesn’t escape her that the mix (and not just because Baekhyun is singing them) is a very good reviewer for the exam and that there’s no doubt that this would help Chanyeol a lot. It doesn’t mean that she’s going to stop being annoyed at Baekhyun, though.

Sighing, Kyungsoo straightens up and prepares to wake Chanyeol up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“No way!” Jongdae complains so loudly that everyone in the vicinity looks over to see what the commotion is. Of course there really isn’t much of a commotion because it’s just Jongdae being a loud drama queen over everything. “No way is Kyungsoo beating me at Pac Man!” He fiddles with the controls with even more gusto so that he looks like he’s singlehandedly trying to break the machine down.

“Yes way,” Kyungsoo responds so cheerfully that Jongdae grumbles and Chanyeol laughs beside her, glancing at his watch. Baekhyun watches with mild interest from Jongdae’s side, looking to where Kris and Joonmyun are hanging out by the Donkey Kong game every now and then. “You better watch out. I’m going to break your high score.” She winks at Jongdae even though he’s very much focused at the game. This time it’s Baekhyun who laughs.

Kyungsoo does end up beating Jongdae’s high score. When she turns around after cheering and jumping up and down in victory, Jongdae has gone to find the arcade manager to complain of game rigging and score irregularities, Chanyeol following after him. Kris and Joonmyun are nowhere to be found. Only Baekhyun is there, standing and clapping, sharing her victory.

“Well done, Do,” Baekhyun compliments. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I always have it in me,” Kyungsoo retorts with an eye roll. She turns back to the game and grins when she sees her name at the very top of the high score list. “I just don’t think playing games is worth the effort.”

“It seems you think a lot of things aren’t worth the effort,” Baekhyun says, mostly to himself but Kyungsoo hears it anyway.

She whips around to face him, eyes slightly narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” is Baekhyun’s immediate answer. His hands are held up in a mock surrender position.

Kyungsoo looks away, resolving to let it go. Glancing at the wall clock, she looks around and breathes deeply. “Where are Jongdae and Chanyeol? And where did Joonmyun and Kris go?”

“Probably making out somewhere,” Baekhyun says with a chuckle and Kyungsoo smiles because she doesn’t doubt that he’s right. “Kris and Joonmyun, I mean.”

“Well,” Kyungsoo decides, making a face at him. “I should go.” There are a lot of things waiting for her at home. Although she’s not particularly excited to get to them, she has to face her books sooner or later.

Baekhyun stuffs his hands in his pockets, blowing out a breath before looking up at Kyungsoo. “Want to go get some ice cream?” he suggests. “There’s a good ice cream shop nearby.”

Kyungsoo stares at him before raising an eyebrow in suspicion. “Why?” she slowly asks.

Baekhyun laughs and his face lights up. “Why does anyone get ice cream?” he throws back at her. “To celebrate your win! I think that warrants some ice cream, don’t you think?”

She doesn’t know why, but she agrees and follows Baekhyun out of the arcade and in a direction Kyungsoo is pretty sure there are no ice cream shops. For some reason, everything that Baekhyun does feels like there’s an agenda behind them, especially after their conversation in Chanyeol’s house.

“Relax,” Baekhyun tells her, nudging her playfully as they walk down the sidewalk. “It’s just ice cream.”

“There are no ice cream shops this way,” Kyungsoo states.

“There’s one,” Baekhyun assures her.

“You’re not even from here,” she reminds him.

“And yet,” he tells her with a knowing smile as he stops walking and points to his left, “I’m right.”

Indeed, it’s an ice cream shop. It’s housed in a seemingly long-standing structure with the paint peeling. But Kyungsoo can imagine what it must have looked like back in the day, pretty pink and blue paint brightening up children’s days with yummy ice cream. She looks at Baekhyun with surprise and he grins at her. How could he have known about this when she, someone who’s supposedly a New York native, hasn’t even heard of it?

They walk in and place their orders at the counter. Kyungsoo takes a couple of seconds to decide, but in the end, chooses a blueberry flavored ice cream, while Baekhyun immediately settles on pistachio. As they sit beside the window, Kyungsoo looks around. The place is cozy with circular wooden tables and wooden chairs with differently printed cushions. It’s all very pretty. She thinks it’s a place where she can come back to hang out in again.

“How did you find out about this?” Kyungsoo asks in wonder, taking a spoonful of her blueberry ice cream. She smiles at how delicious it is.

Baekhyun shrugs. “I like walking around,” he explains, leaning back on his seat to watch her enjoy herself. “It’s something that I do when I explore a place, and there are a lot of places to explore in New York.”

A tinge of guilt seeps into Kyungsoo but she ignores it. It’s not her responsibility to show Baekhyun around. Chanyeol has probably done that already. “Well I’m amazed. I’ve never even heard of this place before,” she admits, slightly pink-cheeked. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Baekhyun blinks at her, mouth slightly open before it closes into a smile. “I figured it was the least I can do to make you not hate me,” he tells her.

“I don’t hate you,” she returns snappishly, eyes wide. Sure, he annoys her but she doesn’t hate him. Hate is such a strong word.

“You certainly don’t like me,” Baekhyun paraphrases, swirling his pistachio ice cream around his cup with his spoon.

Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to say to this. It’s true that she has her reservations about Baekhyun. But it’s not like she isn’t the same way with other people who show up in her life so suddenly. She knows that Baekhyun already knows this from their conversation about it, but why is he making such an effort? It’s not like her friendship matters. Baekhyun gets along perfectly well with the rest of the group, especially with Kris and Joonmyun, whom he hangs out with most of the time, being in the same year. Kyungsoo supposes, though, that it is weird that she’s the only one he isn’t getting along with. But, again, she isn’t sure why it matters.

“I am not losing to you,” she says, holding her breath, hoping her attempt to make light of the conversation is effective.

He ends up chuckling and she lets out an inaudible sigh of relief. “You do know that you’re supposed to _make me_ like you, right?” he reminds her. “Hating me isn’t a very effective way of doing that.”

“I don’t hate you,” she insists. “Just…” She waves a hand vaguely. “You know.”

“I know,” Baekhyun confirms with a nod.

They’re quiet after that, Kyungsoo unsure as to whether they’ve resolved anything. She watches as Baekhyun looks out of the window, eyes pensive. She thinks of how cheerful Chanyeol and Jongdae are when Baekhyun is around, how the tension seeps out of Joonmyun and how Kris dresses considerably better. All because of Baekhyun. She wonders why she’s holding back so much when it doesn’t seem like being friends with him will do any harm. But then she thinks about putting herself out there, making herself vulnerable, and she swallows nervously, shutting the idea down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joonmyun goes through the clothing on the rack before plucking out a gray oversized, sweater-like blouse. She holds it to her front and looks to Kyungsoo for advice. “What about this?” she asks.

It’s a bit too gray for Kyungsoo’s taste but she shrugs. “You look good in anything, Joonmyun,” she tells Joonmyun faithfully. It’s not a lie because Joonmyun does look good in anything that she wears, even if it’s only a black trash bag. But Joonmyun has been asking Kyungsoo’s opinion for an hour now and Kyungsoo is tired. She was never really one for shopping.

Joonmyun grabs two more of the same outfit in different colors and designs before they make their way to the dressing rooms. Kyungsoo falls into step beside her, not even bothering to look at anything that might interest her. She has everything she needs at home. Her mother buys her loads of clothing that she can’t finish wearing in her lifetime. That, and experimenting with a new look is just too hard.

“How’s everything going with you?” Joonmyun asks, stopping for a bit when a couple of large earrings catch her eye.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo answers with a shrug. “I’ve decided to start pre-law review classes in the summer. My mom’s found me a tutor.”

“Oh?” Joonmyun pauses to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes. “That sounds good,” she says. “Do you have an idea which university you’re going to attend for pre-law or what course you’re going to take?”

Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably. She has some ideas, but she isn’t sure how that would work out. “Well,” she hedges. “I’ve been thinking political science.”

Joonmyun stops going through the earrings and stares at Kyungsoo with widened eyes. “Oh,” she says, blinking before she’s breaking out into a grin. “I mean, that sounds nice.”

“You don’t sound like you think it’s nice,” Kyungsoo honestly replies, fiddling with a gold bangle on the rack. She has her suspicions but decides not to say anything.

“Oh well, I just thought…” Joonmyun shakes her head and waves the thought away dismissively. “Never mind. Are you excited? I mean this is such a big deal. For you and your family. What does Seungsoo think about it?”

Kyungsoo chuckles as she thinks of her brother. “He keeps telling me to hurry up and outshine him,” she relays. “I don’t know what he’s talking about, though. He’s always been the smarter one between the two of us.” She leans closer to look at the detailing on an earring and misses the frown that Joonmyun sends her.

“He probably misses you,” Joonmyun says instead, moving away from the jewelry rack and walking towards the dressing rooms again. “He hasn’t come home in a while now.”

“He calls often,” Kyungsoo assures her.

Joonmyun goes into a dressing room, closing the curtain behind her as Kyungsoo waits outside. She’s always admired how Joonmyun seems to have everything going for her. Joonmyun serves in the student council as vice president, is the president of the drama club and is also part of the school newspaper as a regular columnist. Aside from that, she is the pride and joy of the Kim family, being their eldest daughter, who excels in everything she does. Jongdae always shares that it’s a running joke in their family that everything Joonmyun touches turns into gold right before he scowls when his dad compares him to his cousin. It seems true, though, Kyungsoo thinks. Joonmyun is just that good at everything that she does.

“Where are you going to school, Joonmyun?” she calls through the curtain.

“Columbia,” Joonmyun answers, muffled. “That way I can have a focus on journalism.”

“What do your parents say about that?” Kyungsoo then asks, knowing that Joonmyun’s parents are doctors.

“Nothing,” Joonmyun tells her, opening the curtain and stepping out. She makes a face at the clothing and they go back the way they came to look at more clothes. “They just want me to do what I want to do.”

When Joonmyun finally releases Kyungsoo from the chains of shopping after they’d had lunch, she wanders around the mall, not really feeling like going home yet, thinking about her earlier conversation with Joonmyun. Everything that Joonmyun does points towards a future that is sure to be bright and something that is sure to be what she wants it to be. When Kyungsoo looks at her future, all she sees is a Do daughter who is a lawyer.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a bit before deciding to just let it go. There isn’t much she can do about it and it’s not like she’s being forced into anything. She walks around, doing a bit of absent window-shopping when she remembers the event that she’s attending with her parents that weekend. It’s always imperative that she has something new to wear.

She is thinking of the dresses she has at home that she’s only worn once and maybe could get away with wearing again when she stumbles upon a music store. She glances up at the sign and peers through the window display, at the guitars and the drum set. Looking behind it, she can see a black grand piano opened.

Tentatively, she quietly enters the store and stands in the entrance for a couple of seconds. When no one comes to greet her, she walks further inside and slowly makes her way to the grand piano. The white and black keys greet her with an inviting shine that she hasn’t seen in a long time. Her fingers skitter through the edge, touch close enough to create a note.

Kyungsoo started playing the piano when she was six years old. Her grandmother, who used to live with them, had bought a piano and had it placed in the living room. She used to be a ballerina and always said that dancing to piano music is her most favorite. Her grandmother played a lot of tunes and that was how Kyungsoo got hooked. In the beginning, Kyungsoo would just watch her play from the couch, until slowly, she watched while sitting beside her grandmother on the piano bench.

On Kyungsoo’s sixth birthday, her parents hired a young lady to come in three times a week to teach Kyungsoo how to play the piano. When she’d been learning for two years, her grandmother was the one who sat beside her to watch.

The piano was taken away when she was eleven. Right when her grandmother was jerked out of her life.

Kyungsoo still remembers what it was like, back when she still played and wonders if she can recreate such a precious memory. She takes a seat on the piano bench and places her hands on the keys the way she was first taught. Softly, she starts to play, the notes coming back to her and flowing through her fingers. Soon, strength finds their way back to her and she plays without hesitation.

It’s interesting how something that seemed so long ago, seemed so forgotten, can come back to you in an instant. It was like no time had passed as Kyungsoo’s fingers blazed their way through the notes. Her grandmother loved it when she played. She always bristled with pride whenever Kyungsoo would play, especially when there were guests around. Even Chanyeol, who was more of a musician than she will ever be, complained that Kyungsoo played the piano better than him.

Kyungsoo stops playing when she finishes one song, placing her hands back on her lap. It was a time when Kyungsoo had been braver and bolder. She would take those days back if she could.

Standing up, she lets her fingers skim the keys before turning around to walk back out of the shop. It was nice that the storeowner hadn’t come running out to stop her, but she thinks she’s overstayed. As soon as she turns, she freezes, her leg bumping on the piano bench.

Baekhyun is leaning against the entrance, arms crossed over his chest, an annoyingly knowing smile on his face.

“What,” Kyungsoo murmurs as she walks out of the shop without even giving him another glance.

“You play the piano.” And the way he says it is factual. It bothers Kyungsoo.

“No, I don’t,” she corrects him. “I _used to_ play.”

“Doesn’t seem that way to me,” Baekhyun states and she can hear the grin that’s probably plastered on his face.

“What are you even doing here?” she snaps.

“Am I not allowed to hang out at the mall?” he asks her.

“By yourself?” She raises an eyebrow at him judgingly.

Baekhyun looks around. “I don’t see you hanging out with anyone.”

Kyungsoo opens her mouth to explain that she wasn’t walking around the mall like a loner but decides it’s not worth it. Instead, she takes a deep breath and heads towards the nearest exit. “I’m going home,” she announces.

“Are you taking a cab?” Baekhyun asks, not missing a beat. He pauses for a second. “Or are you okay with walking?”

It’s a sunny Saturday. There’s really no excuse to hurry back indoors so quickly like Kyungsoo was intending to do. Biting her lower lip, she shrugs and walks away from the taxi stand. She doesn’t see how Baekhyun smiles as he follows after her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Where were you on Saturday?” Chanyeol asks as soon as he takes a seat beside Kyungsoo in the cafeteria. “I called all afternoon.”

Jongdae snorts. “What are you, her boyfriend?” Chanyeol strangles him.

Kyungsoo looks up from her reading material, eyebrow raised. She and Chanyeol hadn’t seen each other since Friday due to him being away to The Hamptons for a family thing. “I was at the mall with Joonmyun,” she answers before going back to reading.

“We separated after lunch, though,” Joonmyun pipes in, “because I had to meet up with Kris. You didn’t go home?”

“I went to Central Park,” Kyungsoo answers truthfully, ignoring Baekhyun looking at her, “with Baekhyun.”

Everyone looks up, even Kris, who normally doesn’t take part in such conversations. Jongdae has both his eyebrows raised though, neck still being squeezed by Chanyeol’s arm, while Joonmyun has a surprised smile on her face. Meanwhile, Chanyeol’s brows are furrowed in confusion as he looks from Kyungsoo to Baekhyun.

“She was going home but we bumped into each other and I forced her to show me around Central Park,” Baekhyun explains further.

“Is there even anything to see in Central Park?” Jongdae snorts, going back to his food when Chanyeol finally lets go of him, already losing interest.

Everyone else goes back to what they were originally doing and Kyungsoo is relieved. Although why she’s relieved she isn’t sure because she and Baekhyun didn’t do anything wrong by going to Central Park by themselves. All they did was walk and talk anyway. Nothing really special.

“They’re restoring the park,” Kyungsoo offers with an indulgent smile. Baekhyun chuckles. She remembers that Chanyeol had been calling her and turns to him. “Did something happen last Saturday?”

Chanyeol pauses for a beat before shaking his head. “Nah,” he says. “Just wanted to chat because I stayed home when they went out to hang out at the beach.” He gobbles down his food after that and Kyungsoo rolls her eyes, looking away.

Kyungsoo is quiet then, only half-listening to Joonmyun discussing some school paper related things with Kris and Jongdae with Chanyeol butting in every now and then. Beside her, she could feel Baekhyun glancing at her every now and then. After a while, it gets to Kyungsoo and she finally meets his gaze. Baekhyun is smiling at her in a way that is warm and comforting. Kyungsoo smiles back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo feels like a present, an overly wrapped one. Her cocktail dress, despite being black, has a fitted bodice that emphasizes her small waist, the part covering her chest pleated and spread upward like a fan. It’s like she’s wearing a big ruffle. To add to that, there’s a big ribbon on her left hip. She looks like a gift. This is precisely why she should have chosen to buy her dress herself, instead of trusting her mother to know what she likes.

She grabs a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, not caring that she’s not legally allowed to drink, and makes her way outside to the balcony. She’d really rather be by herself than carry on answering questions from her parents’ overbearing friends, who just go on and on about how she’s carrying on the legacy of her parents’ profession.

Taking a deep breath, Kyungsoo enjoys the cold night air, relishing how quiet it is. It’s not late into the evening but it’s nice how quiet and calm it seems. She wishes she were elsewhere instead of being stuck in some event she doesn’t even have anything to do with. Kyungsoo understands that her parents mean well and want some form of support or maybe they want to spend time with her by inviting her to attend social events with them. But she never does anything when she comes. Sometimes she wonders if she’s mostly there for them to show off: their youngest daughter who’s following in their footsteps.

“You look bored,” someone speaks up from behind her in the middle of her sigh.

Kyungsoo chokes and ends up coughing, turning around to find Baekhyun chuckling at her. He stands beside her, holding an almost empty champagne glass, which he places on the ledge. This is starting to become a habit that Kyungsoo isn’t sure she approves of.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo demands, incredibly surprised to see him here. Chanyeol is normally present at these events, as is Joonmyun; but Joonmyun has an article due and Chanyeol has a different family thing, which is really too bad because Chanyeol loves art events. The last person she expected to see is Baekhyun, who looks really nice in his dark suit, his hair all slicked up, away from his face.

“My parents are fans of the arts,” Baekhyun answers with a shrug, loosening his tie. “That and they’ve never been to the MoMA before and think it’s a good way to be inducted into the society.” He turns around and leans his back on the banister. “Meanwhile, your parents are on the board of trustees.”

“My mom actually,” she corrects him, imitating his position as she drinks half of her drink. “But yeah. Just imagine how many art things I go to.”

He chuckles at her lack of excitement. “But this is fun. I mean, you know, you look at art and you… interpret it,” he coughs to hide his laughter. He wrinkles his nose. “That just sounded a lot like school.”

“Except it’s more glamorous,” Kyungsoo adds with a light laugh. She lets out a sigh. “I never really know what to do at these events. Everyone just asks me about the future.”

“Like what?” he asks, facing her. He looks truly curious, earnestness showing with how his eyes are intent on her, expectantly waiting for her response.

“Like law school,” she answers with another sigh. “Like what pre-law course I’m going to take, if I’m taking up political science like my brother and if I’m going to take it in Harvard like everyone in my family has. I mean, why do they even ask if they already know the answer?”

“But that’s what you want, right?” Baekhyun carefully asks her, his dark eyes very much focused on her.

Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun; she looks at how polished he looks, how he fits in with everyone else in the event, how pink his cheeks are from the cold and probably from the champagne. For the first time, she wonders about Baekhyun. Before they started hanging out (sort of), she never thought much about him, didn’t really care about who he was. She didn’t even want to talk to him about herself. But now, here she is, being more honest about herself than she has been in a long time. Kyungsoo wonders why Baekhyun asks her questions, why he bothers to get to know her. Now, to add to that, she wonders whether she wants to know about him too.

She thinks she might.

“Of course,” Kyungsoo answers softly. “Of course I do. Everyone in my family has taken up law.”

Baekhyun purses his lips as if he wants to say something but is forcing it down. Instead, he faces the view, arms against the balustrade. “I think,” he slowly speaks up, “sometimes we get caught up with what our parents want, with how our family is.” He laughs, but it’s not a happy sounding one. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but…”

“It’s not,” she quietly concurs. Baekhyun is suddenly quiet, the quietest that she’s ever seen him since they’ve met, and it makes her curious. “Are you okay?”

Baekhyun pushes himself off the ledge and smiles brightly at her. “You know what we need?” he asks, laughing like they weren’t serious just a second ago.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, looking with raised eyebrows as Baekhyun takes her hand in his, which she admits, in the deepest recesses of her mind, feels nice, and pulling her back inside the event.

“We need to loosen up,” Baekhyun answers promptly. “And I know just the thing.”

He doesn’t even allow her to break away for a minute to ask permission from her parents, not that they would care seeing as they just smiled when they saw her and Baekhyun hanging out together. They weave in between people, go past exhibits, go down several floors until they reach the building entrance and walk out of there.

“Where are we going?” Kyungsoo demands, untangling their hands as Baekhyun flags down a cab.

“You’ll see,” Baekhyun grins. “It’s going to be somewhere fun.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somewhere fun turns out to be the Empire Roller Skating Center. Kyungsoo gives him some sort of judging look as she follows him inside. She’s entirely unsure why they’re back to where they started but, somehow, due to Baekhyun’s insistence, she allows him to rent skates for the both of them, halfheartedly protesting that she’s not going to skate because she doesn’t skate.

But Kyungsoo is laced up shortly after, very slowly following after Baekhyun on the way to the rink. It’s lucky that there aren’t many people around that evening. She would rather not have many witnesses to the disaster of her skating, while she’s in formal wear. Baekhyun takes off his suit jacket, dumping it on the nearest couch, and leads her to the rink.

The moment her skate hits the rink, though, Kyungsoo screams like she’s in a slasher film and grabs for Baekhyun as she slips. He holds onto her, hands on her waist, steady and assuring. Laughing nervously, he glances around before he turns his attention back to her, lightly squeezing her waist.

“I’m here,” Baekhyun reassures her. “I’m not going to let you fall.”

Interesting words coming from him. For someone who seems so cocky and always joking around, Baekhyun sounds really earnest and about something so silly as roller-skating. Kyungsoo looks around, at the few people, mostly couples, skating around happily, and takes a deep breath. She’s already here, might as well go for it. It’s lucky that none of their other friends are around. She doesn’t think she’s ready for them to see this and tease her about it.

“Okay,” she agrees with a nod. “If you ever so much as let me go…” She glares at him warningly and Baekhyun laughs that laugh that shows all his teeth and makes his eyes seem like they’re twinkling.

“I won’t,” he promises.

Kyungsoo clutches tightly at Baekhyun’s hand, not caring about decorum. This isn’t the time for her to be weird about the fact that this is the first time she’s holding a boy’s hand, one who isn’t Chanyeol or Jongdae. She’s never gotten far with any boy because no one’s caught her interest and no one has really offered to hold her hand during roller-skating like Baekhyun did. Right now, she doesn’t have a choice. That is the only reason she’s okay with holding his hand and allowing him to put an arm around her waist and hold her. Although she wishes that he wouldn’t hold her like she’s going to break, like she’s precious to him.

Their first few skates around the rink were met with, surprisingly, very few disasters. Baekhyun had held on to his promise of not letting her go all throughout and Kyungsoo felt more relaxed as they carried on. She refuses to acknowledge the fact that she’d almost tripped Baekhyun several times, causing him to almost fall and, in turn, almost drag her down with him.

But this is nice, Kyungsoo thinks. Roller-skating can be fun after all. When you don’t fall on your butt, of course.

“I’m a military brat,” Baekhyun suddenly speaks up when their skating is steadier. They’re still holding each other’s hand, but it’s more loose and relaxed.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, looking at him and accidentally hitting Baekhyun’s skates.

Baekhyun grunts as he struggles for a second to keep them upright, arm around her waist tightening for a bit before relaxing again. “Military brat,” he repeats. “My dad’s in the military. Children of people in the military are called military brats.”

“Why?” she asks curiously, watching the way Baekhyun’s brows furrow slightly.

But he merely shrugs. “I don’t know,” he answers. “But we move around a lot. I’ve lived in practically every state in the country.”

Despite the fact that Baekhyun is talking, he seems very quiet and Kyungsoo knows that this is somehow a serious subject, maybe something that he normally doesn’t talk about. She’s reminded of what Chanyeol said about Baekhyun having a hard time and wonders if he was talking about this.

“What state did you like the most?” she asks instead of the many other things she could have. They went to roller-skate to escape the seriousness and not to have another heart-to-heart discussion, although she doesn’t think that unwelcome anymore.

“Each state has its charms,” Baekhyun says, smiling at her like he appreciates her effort of keeping things light. “But I think I’d like to go back to Boston.” He glances at her. “However,” he continues with a wink, “New York is quickly climbing up to the top.”

Kyungsoo laughs unrestrainedly, head tilting back, hair fanning down her back. “You flirt,” she teases. She shoves him, too excitedly that it causes more harm to both of them than to just Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, not expecting the hit, yelps as he gets pushed backwards. He frantically holds onto her as they approach the edge of the rink and Kyungsoo muffles her scream by burying her face in his chest, arms scrambling around his waist as she holds on for dear life. Baekhyun lets out groan as his back hits the wall, hunching over Kyungsoo, securing himself around her as he balances the both of them.

Kyungsoo takes one, two, three breaths before she slowly pulls away from Baekhyun and looks up at him. He’s looking at her with concern, his hand brushing away the hair on her face and tucking them behind her ear. Kyungsoo’s heart feels like it’s going to drum itself out of her chest and she feels like she’s just escaped death but she smiles at him.

“Rule number one in roller skating,” Baekhyun says, sounding slightly winded. “Never make sudden movements. Especially when you’re not an expert.” She just lets out a shaky breath, too tense to make a proper comeback. “But that wasn’t so bad, right?”

She nods and untangles herself from him, his arms dropping from around her. It’s the first time that they’re not touching since they got into the rink. “Yeah,” she mumbles, pressing her dress down to make sure that nothing is out of place. “This is exactly the reason why I don’t skate, though. It’s too risky and not worth the anxiety.”

“Really?” Baekhyun is looking knowingly at her.

Kyungsoo slaps his arm, making sure to do it not too forcefully lest they get into another tumble. “Okay so maybe it was a little bit fun, too,” she hedges.

“Only a little bit?” he teases as he tries to catch her eye.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” she grumbles as she glares at him. “Okay so it was more than a little bit fun. Still, I don’t think anything that scary is worth it.”

“Au contraire,” Baekhyun corrects her gently, “the things that are the scariest are the ones that are the most worth it. Those are the things that you should go for. If they scare you, you hesitate for a second and then you jump. _Or_ you don’t hesitate at all.”

“Sounds a lot like insanity,” Kyungsoo says but there’s not much heat to it. Baekhyun’s eyes are shining with something that she sees in Joonmyun when she talks about her writing or when Chanyeol is drawing. She also sees it when Jongdae is teasing people so she’s not entirely sure how that is a good thing, but it’s there in Baekhyun’s eyes. It’s something that Kyungsoo has yet to find.

“Maybe,” Baekhyun concedes with a short nod. “But it’s always the insane ideas that are most rewarding, I think.” He runs a hand through his hair, messing up the styling, and looks at her. “Are you okay, though? You’re not hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” Kyungsoo says, looking down at her dress. She must look ridiculous, going skating in a black cocktail dress. Paired with Baekhyun, who is still in his slacks and polo shirt and tie, they must look quite a sight.

“You ready for a few more rounds?” he asks with a small smile.

The rink is practically empty by this point. Only one couple that’s furiously making out at the corner are still there. Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun, who is waiting for her with his hand outstretched towards her, ready to take her hand in his and lead her once more.

_Insanity_ , Kyungsoo whispers to herself as she puts her hand back in Baekhyun’s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Kyungsoo, Chanyeol’s here!” Kyungsoo hears her mother call just as she’s putting her hair up in a ponytail.

“I’ll be right down,” she yells back, grabbing a blue hair tie to match with her skirt and putting it on. After giving one last look at her reflection on the mirror, she grabs her bag and books and hurries downstairs.

Chanyeol is seated on the sofa, drinking orange juice that her mother probably forced on him. He stands up, towering over the way he normally does, and takes her bag from her, which she declines and tells her mother that they’re leaving.

“You’re early today,” Kyungsoo comments as soon as they close the front door behind them. Normally, Chanyeol would pick her up at around 7:30 because it only takes around 10 minutes to get to school by car.

“I thought we could walk to school today,” Chanyeol tells her with a grin.

Kyungsoo gets a good look at him for what seems like the first time in days and frowns. There are bags under Chanyeol’s eyes and he looks more tired than usual. “Is everything okay?” she asks in concern, reaching out to lightly touch his cheek. “Baekhyun told me that Jongdae mentioned that you haven’t been sleeping well.” Somehow, it doesn’t sit right with her that she doesn’t know what’s been going on with her best friend these days, but Chanyeol has been busy.

Chanyeol’s brows furrow for a second before he shakes his head and smiles. “I’m alright,” he tells her. “Just been putting in some extra hours with studying. Plus I’ve been drawing a lot, trying to build up my portfolio.”

Kyungsoo can sense that there’s something he’s not telling her but she lets it slide. Chanyeol never keeps quiet about the important stuff. If he thinks it’s not necessary to tell her something then she trusts him that it is unnecessary. “Okay,” she says. “I have a meeting with the counselor after classes today but I was thinking we could go hangout. We could go buy ice cream and watch an episode of Miami Vice or something.”

Chanyeol laughs and ruffles her hair much to her displeasure. “It’s fine,” he assures her. “Everything’s okay. I have to get home immediately after school anyway.”

“What’s going on at home that requires you to be at home so much?” Kyungsoo wonders in confusion. One would expect that living in the Upper East Side would have them being pampered children but their parents aren’t like that, Chanyeol’s especially. They’re allowed to go out as much as they can as long as they know where they are.

“We talked about university recently and my mom got emotional about me living so far away,” Chanyeol shares with a chuckle.

“But that’s not for another year,” Kyungsoo says, bemused.

Chanyeol shrugs. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her,” he agrees. “But Yoora’s been coming over for the weekends more often and I think she just misses having everyone at home.”

Kyungsoo laughs. “Your mom is so silly,” she comments, linking their arms together. “Well we should schedule some time to hang out then. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I can just come over if you want.”

“No,” is Chanyeol’s immediate answer. “I’ll come over. I’ll make time,” he amends with a smile when she gives him a startled look. “We can watch _St. Elmo’s Fire_ and I’ll wipe your drool for you whenever Rob Lowe comes on screen.” He laughs loudly when she slaps his arm.

“It’s a deal,” Kyungsoo agrees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey hey,” Baekhyun greets as he sits down beside Jongdae, across from Baekhyun and Joonmyun. “What are we doing today?”

“Are we doing anything today?” Baekhyun asks curiously, glancing at Joonmyun and Jongdae. It’s a Friday so they normally have plans but they haven’t really talked about doing anything for that weekend.

“I can’t,” Joonmyun says, looking apologetic. “I have a paper meeting and I promised Kris I would have dinner with him and his family at home.” She gathers her books into a pile. “As a matter of fact, I have to get going.” Getting up, she smiles at them then looks at Kyungsoo. “Soo, you should take Baekhyun out to see New York at night.”

Kyungsoo gives her a look askance. “Baekhyun’s had plenty of opportunities to do that,” she remarks, giving Baekhyun a look that makes him laugh. “I bet he knows more about the New York nightlife than I do.” Which is probably really true because Baekhyun isn’t afraid to do things by himself, especially when he really wants to do them.

“Well it’s different with company,” Joonmyun insists, grinning innocently when even Jongdae looks up at her suspiciously. “Jongdae can come with you.”

“Can’t,” Jongdae announces, suddenly looking smug. “I’ve got a date.”

“Really?” the girls chorus. Baekhyun reaches out and proudly claps him on the back.

“With Liyin? What did she say? Where are you guys going?” Kyungsoo asks question after question because wow she didn’t think Jongdae had a shot at all. She loves Jongdae dearly but really, Liyin is way out of his reach.

Jongdae clears his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. “Well, the library,” he answers quietly. “She, uh, has some research to do and I, uh, offered to help her.”

The table is silent. Kyungsoo tries her best to stay solemn, not wanting to offend Jongdae by laughing, which is what Baekhyun is doing, albeit quietly. He has an arm around Jongdae, who is staring at the table with an insolent frown. Joonmyun, meanwhile, quietly excuses herself, telling them that she really has to run to her meeting. But Kyungsoo catches the laughter on her face.

“Well,” Kyungsoo finally breaks the silence that was punctuated with Baekhyun’s giggles. “I guess it’s going to just be Baekhyun and I then,” she adds, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes that are filled with mirth. Chanyeol would probably go with them, except Chanyeol went home immediately after his last class.

They watch Jongdae walk away with a slight slump on his shoulders and Kyungsoo shoves Baekhyun hard enough to make him stop laughing and fall off the bench. Jongdae’s crush has always been so cute, but he’s liked her for so long now that Kyungsoo thinks it’s a tad bit more serious now. Jongdae must really like her to go through all the effort.

“You were laughing, too,” Baekhyun complains when he gets back on the bench, rubbing his arm. “Even Joonmyun thought it was funny.”

“Yes, well, I think Jongdae really likes her,” Kyungsoo says. “We shouldn’t make fun of him. He’s doing his best.”

“Yes, well, he isn’t going to get anywhere by just following her around,” Baekhyun tells him.

“Says the expert,” Kyungsoo gives him a doubtful look. “I don’t think you’d be any better.”

“You’re looking at someone who’s had a girlfriend in almost every state in the country,” Baekhyun boasts, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “It’s _not_ that hard.” She gestures for him to continue, amused at how arrogant he’s being. “The first thing you do is give them a charming smile,” he goes on, giving her a smile that Kyungsoo thinks is more creepy than charming.

“I’m not being charmed,” Kyungsoo comments, crossing her arms across her chest.

“And then you offer to carry her things for her,” Baekhyun says, undeterred, and gathers Kyungsoo’s books for her, carrying them along with her bag.

Kyungsoo stands up and follows him as they leave the quad and walk towards the school gates. “Still not working,” she states.

“You’re very tense,” Baekhyun carries on determinedly. He places an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, a hand lightly massaging her.

Kyungsoo stops walking and trips him. Baekhyun sits sprawled on the ground, stunned, Kyungsoo’s books scattered around him. She crouches down and gathers her things to carry them herself.

“Is that the best you can do?” she remarks innocently before standing up. “I’m disappointed. I doubt you’ll get anywhere near Liyin after that. At least Jongdae has managed to get her to talk to him.” She shakes her head in mock disappointment and starts walking.

Baekhyun scrambles up, dusting himself off and jogging after her. There’s a smile on his face that Kyungsoo scoffs at when he catches up with her. He moves to put an arm around her again and she glares at him.

“Touch me again and you’ll get more than cement on your ass,” Kyungsoo warns him so dangerously that he puts his hand down immediately. “We’re not roller skating so I don’t need a hand.”

Kyungsoo hides as smile as she hears Baekhyun’s sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Joonmyun suggested that they see New York at night, Kyungsoo was thinking more along the lines of walking around and maybe standing in the middle of Times Square to look at the bright lights of the different signages. But, of course, Baekhyun always has an unexpected trick up his sleeve and takes them to line up at _Studio 54_ < instead.

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says, lightly chiding.

“What, have you been inside?” Baekhyun asks.

“No, but we’re underage,” she explains, a bit irritated that she actually has to.

“So what?” he says determinedly. “You know what they say, _age is just a number_.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

“You’re an idiot,” Kyungsoo mutters.

“If I let something like my age make me stop from doing what I want,” Baekhyun tells her with a shake of his head, “then I’m not really living.”

“This is illegal, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo reminds him. “There are some things you can’t do.”

“Only because you think you can’t,” Baekhyun insists in a singsong voice. Kyungsoo gives up.

_Studio 54_ , being one of the most—if not, the most—popular club in New York, is crawling with people, all lining up for a chance to get inside. Kyungsoo follows Baekhyun to the end up the line, where he hands her a fake I.D. Kyungsoo takes one look at it and scoffs.

“ _Sam Baker_. Really?” Kyungsoo says in disbelief. She grabs his fake I.D. and bursts out into laughter. “ _Jake Ryan_ ,” she reads, handing back to him. “We are so not going to be able to get in.” Baekhyun looks affronted. “No offense, but I think _Jake Ryan_ would be insulted that you’re impersonating him.”

“Yes because I’m more handsome than he is and it’s such a waste to impersonate him,” Baekhyun retorts with a wink.

Kyungsoo just rolls her eyes and looks at the long line. They’re right around the block and she really thinks they’re not going to be able to get in even if they reach the line before midnight. She watches Baekhyun, who is shifting every so often in his stance, obviously excited at the prospect of getting into the most talked about club. There have been various celebrity sightings here and she wonders if there’s anyone in particular he’d like to see. Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind running into Rob Lowe and falling into his arms. By accident, of course. And then they’ll run off into the sunset. Or the sunrise.

By the time they reach the front of the line, the men manning the door give one look at them, or Kyungsoo in particular, with her neon green headband and loose sweater shirt, and he pulls them out of the line, telling them that they don’t let elementary students in. Baekhyun forgets to defend her because he ends up laughing at Kyungsoo, who looks murderous.

“I do not look 12,” Kyungsoo declares as she stomps after Baekhyun.

“No, you look like you’re 10.” Baekhyun bursts out into another round of laughter and Kyungsoo just stands there and waits for him to be done.

Sighing, she watches as the girls behind them earlier, now standing in front of the line, talk to each other, excited at the prospect of getting inside next. They’re wearing mini skirts, their legs going on for miles. The guys following them in the line are ogling them unabashedly until one of them gets the courage to talk to the prettiest girl in the group. Kyungsoo may have sighed when the guy gives her a charming smile, making the girl practically swoon.

This makes her think of romance and relationships. Kyungsoo has seen enough movies and real-life relationships to know that, sometimes, romance really only happens in movies. Still there are love stories like Kris and Joonmyun’s, who started off as really one-sided, with Joonmyun pining over Kris painfully for a year before Kris ever realized it. As it turned out, Kris was painfully pining over Joonmyun, too, and was just trying to be a tough guy about it. Kyungsoo hopes that Jongdae’s crush on Liyin blooms into something more. She hopes that Liyin would give Jongdae an actual chance to show her how much he cares about her. It would be a lie to say that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to be swept off her feet. She just has to find the right guy, the one that Kyungsoo would think worthy of her affections.

When she comes to her senses, she realizes that Baekhyun has stopped laughing and is now watching her with an expression that Kyungsoo doesn’t recognize. She doesn’t stop to dwell on it, though.

“Are you done?” she demands.

“Yes, ma’am!” Baekhyun confirms with a salute.

“I guess we’re going home then,” Kyungsoo says, glancing one last time at _Studio 54_. She has to admit that she was curious about what the inside looks like and what it would be like to get inside. It was still nice to be out, though, and be able to see the bright lights of the city.

“Or,” Baekhyun suggests, “We can go and have late dinner.” He points at a diner across the street, its red, blue and white lights vivid in the night sky.

There aren’t very many people inside, seeing as it’s an hour before midnight (everyone’s probably in _Studio 54_ , Kyungsoo thinks), and they take a booth in the corner. Once they’ve ordered, Baekhyun tells Kyungsoo about what he’s heard _Studio 54_ ’s interior looks like. Kyungsoo leans back on her seat and closes her eyes to imagine.

She would walk inside, wearing the coolest and sexiest outfit—although maybe the skirt won’t be too short. She’d walk to the bar to order a margarita. While she’s sipping it, some guy from the dance floor would catch her eye. He would go to her when she beckons and when he is much nearer she would—but no, Baekhyun is _not_ going to be that guy.

Kyungsoo opens her eyes, her lashes fluttering across her cheeks as she blinks herself awake. Baekhyun is watching her with a small smile on her lips.

“I thought you were falling asleep on me,” Baekhyun comments teasingly.

“I’m not tired,” Kyungsoo replies truthfully. When she’s with Baekhyun, everything is fun and exciting and never tiring, not that she would ever admit it to him. “Maybe just a little hungry.”

“Well you’ve chosen well,” he says. “They have the best pancakes here.”

Kyungsoo is surprised. “How is it that you know more places than I do in a city where I’ve grown up in?” she grumbles. “You keep showing me to places, like you’re the native.”

“I do my research about things I want to do and I make it happen,” he says, shrugging. “I don’t need a tour guide. I’ve never needed one, to be honest.”

It looks to Kyungsoo like Baekhyun never needs a guide for anything. It makes Kyungsoo wish she were the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo start hanging out so much that Kyungsoo doesn’t even question anymore whenever she ends up alone with Baekhyun in some hole-in-the-wall restaurant or in some secret passageway that leads to some underground art gallery. She has seen a lot more of New York when she was with him than she has in the entire time she’s been living there and she thinks it’s not such a bad thing.

Currently, there are days when Baekhyun walks Kyungsoo home after classes, when they’re not hanging out elsewhere anyway, nights when Kyungsoo talks to Baekhyun on the phone instead of Chanyeol. Somehow it’s ended up that Baekhyun has become that person that Kyungsoo talks to all the time, almost like he’s become another one of her best friends, like Chanyeol or Joonmyun. At the very least, Baekhyun has become her movie-watching partner.

It’s in a rock concert, in the middle of the yelling and screaming of die-hard fans, squished in the middle of sweaty people who keep on jumping up and down, that Kyungsoo realizes that she’s happy. Not that she wasn’t happy before. Kyungsoo has always been contented with her life, but she thinks she’s more than contented now, with Baekhyun around. In the time she’s spent with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo realizes that she’s never been adventurous in her life until she met him. For some reason, how exactly, she’s not sure, but he’s brought out her more daring side and has made her take more risks than she would have done in the past. It’s quite a nice feeling.

“You’re really quiet and subdued for someone who’s at a rock concert,” Baekhyun whispers into her ear, making her jump. “Are you bored?” His lips accidentally brush her ear and she flinches away, covering it up with a slap to his arm.

“I agreed to come with you so of course I’m not bored,” she practically yells back at him because it’s so noisy and rowdy.

Kyungsoo gets pushed forward as the chords of the next song plays, the screams becoming deafening. She turns to look for Baekhyun and maybe grab onto him when she sees him coming to stand behind her, a secure hand on her waist. Baekhyun, Kyungsoo has come to find, is a naturally touchy person. At the beginning she thought that it was just Baekhyun, thought he needed to secure her to himself in case something happened, like when they were roller-skating. But Baekhyun always has an arm around Jongdae or always has his arms linked with Kris’s or his head resting on Chanyeol’s shoulder. He even manages to get away from Kris’s wrath whenever he gets too cuddly with Joonmyun.

Baekhyun drops his hand from Kyungsoo’s waist when he raises his arms up, cheering for the song that just started. “I really like this song!” he tells her loudly and Kyungsoo has to laugh because Baekhyun is just ridiculous.

Although Kyungsoo has to admit that _Faithfully_ is probably her favorite song out of all _Journey_ songs, closely followed by _Open Arms_. She sings along unabashedly, even raising her own arms up and swaying along with the crowd. “ _Restless hearts sleep alone tonight, sending all my love along the wire_.”

Couples around them are starting to get cuddly, wrapping arms around each other, some even facing each other to dance or kiss. Kyungsoo knows that the song is a love song, but didn’t think it had this effect. Suddenly she feels self-conscious and laughs as she turns towards Baekhyun, who’s smirking because of what’s happening around them. He laughs along with her and suddenly starts singing.

“ _Two strangers learn to fall in love again. I get the joy of rediscovering you. Oh, girl, you stand by me. I’m forever yours, faithfully_.”

And to Kyungsoo’s horror, she feels herself blushing. She turns away from him, hoping against hope that Baekhyun didn’t see. But then he’s leaning towards her, his voice right next to her ear.

“You’ll find your _stranger_ to fall in love with someday, Kyungsoo.” The way Baekhyun sounds so sure as he says it make her almost want to believe him. It doesn’t help Kyungsoo’s blush.

Kyungsoo doesn’t care much for boys in spite of the attention that she gets, mostly driven away by Chanyeol who can be overprotective of her. She’s grown up having only her future studies and career on her mind. It’s mostly the only thing that her parents talk about and, with her brother still single, Kyungsoo doesn’t think having a relationship is something she should be thinking about. However, she really can’t deny that she’s thought more about them ever since she’s met Baekhyun. Not because of him in particular, but he makes her think more about relationships.

They stumble out of the arena, slightly sweaty, with the beat of _Don’t Stop Believing_ still pounding in their heads. Kyungsoo hasn’t been to a concert before, much less a rock concert, and now she’s wondering why. They are so thrilling and are such energetic events that Kyungsoo is already wondering which concert she’s going to go to next. Maybe another _Journey_ one would be exciting. She wonders if Chanyeol would be up for it next time.

“That was amazing!” Baekhyun cheers, slinging an arm around Kyungsoo.

“It really was,” Kyungsoo can’t help but agree with a grin.

“Aren’t you glad that you went?” he teases her. “It’s not so bad, right, trying something new?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time?” She rolls her eyes as he chuckles, squeezing her close to him.

“Kyungsoo? Baekhyun?”

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun freeze. There’s no mistaking that voice as they slowly turn around. Jongdae is looking at them like a fish out of water and even Kris looks stunned at seeing them together.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo greets, pushing Baekhyun’s arm off of her. “I didn’t know you guys were going.” As far as she remembered, Kris was bummed about not being able to go because he had a sudden family appointment to go to and that Jongdae didn’t even care because he was supposed to help Liyin out at the library again.

“I could say the same thing about you,” Jongdae returns. He glances at Baekhyun, raising an eyebrow.

“Well,” Kyungsoo starts.

“Are you guys going out?” Jongdae blurts out. Kris frowns at his abrasiveness.

“No,” Baekhyun says, shaking his head, before Kyungsoo could even open her mouth. “You should know better than that,” he adds, playfully pushing Jongdae. She ignores the sinking feeling in her stomach at his words. It is true after all; they aren’t dating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I hear you’ve been going out a lot. I hear you went to the _Journey_ concert.” Joonmyun doesn’t even look up at her, just continuing to write her essay. But Kyungsoo stills at these words and slowly sits up on the bed.

“You sound like my mom,” Kyungsoo points out.

“It’s just an observation,” Joonmyun clarifies.

“So I may have been going out a lot,” Kyungsoo carefully agrees.

Joonmyun drops her pen and sighs when she meets Kyungsoo’s inquiring gaze after a short moment of silence. “I’m just saying,” she explains. “You’ve been going out a lot when normally you wouldn’t. I mean, ever since Baekhyun arrived…” She shoots her a knowing look.

“Baekhyun and I are just friends, if that’s what you’re asking,” Kyungsoo goes straight to the point. Jongdae has been giving her these looks whenever Baekhyun is around and as much as she’s said again and again that there’s nothing going on, he just doesn’t seem to believe her. “I don’t even know him that well.”

“I think you know him well enough,” Joonmyun counters gently.

“Enough to…?” Kyungsoo prods her.

“Enough to like him,” Joonmyun states candidly. Kyungsoo coughs in incredulity. “Soo, you really have been spending an awful lot of time with him and it would be weird if we didn’t ask questions. I’m actually surprised that Chanyeol hasn’t fended him off yet. Usually, he’d be the first one shooing your suitors away.”

“But Baekhyun isn’t a suitor,” Kyungsoo contradicts. The thought of Baekhyun being a suitor is just ridiculous however welcome it is. “He’s… we just go out a lot and he takes me to these places I wouldn’t normally go to and gets me to do things I wouldn’t normally do. He’s really fun, Joonmyun. You should come with us some time.”

Joonmyun is smiling at her. “You should see your face, Soo,” she said with a quiet laugh.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, confused.

“Nothing,” Joonmyun says, shaking her head. “I’m glad you’re having fun with him. Just be careful, okay?”

“Baekhyun and I aren’t dating,” Kyungsoo repeats with a tired sigh.

“Okay, I believe you,” Joonmyun gives in. “Just… be careful.” She opens her mouth then closes it again. “Baekhyun is a senior and is graduating so… you know, he is leaving.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Just like the rest of you,” she reminds her.

“Hey,” Joonmyun searches for Kyungsoo’s gaze until she finds it on her. “I’m still going to be in New York. I’m only going to a different school, but I’ll be around.”

“Yeah yeah,” Kyungsoo waves her off dismissively. She hates talking about how half of her friends are going away to college, how they’re going to be separated by different states. She hates even more the thought of being separated from Chanyeol and Jongdae a year later.

Kyungsoo can’t shake what Joonmyun told her. She knows that Baekhyun is graduating, that he’s leaving. It’s not even just about going to university. Moving around the country is Baekhyun’s life and it shouldn’t be surprising if he suddenly just ups and leaves because it’s something he always does. It doesn’t sit well with Kyungsoo, though. She has gotten used to Baekhyun’s laughter and teasing and touches and to lose all of that, well she supposes it’s something that she’ll have to deal with. They haven’t really talked about this because Baekhyun never really talks about himself.

Lying back down on Joonmyun’s bed, she forces herself not to think about what it would be like without Baekhyun around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is quiet as she follows Baekhyun past the _Thunderbird_ rollercoaster and into the _Kensington Hotel_ underneath it, not even bothering to protest that what they’re doing is trespassing and, therefore, illegal.

_Coney Island_ is in the middle of reconstruction and restorations, as it has been for the past few years. Kyungsoo remembers coming here when she was younger. It used to be a place where people go to hang out in their swimsuits or skateboards and just have fun, until developers couldn’t agree with what to do with it and it remained abandoned. Now it’s a pile of unattended rides and empty structures, the beach vastly quiet.

Baekhyun reaches for Kyungsoo’s hand as they go up the rickety stairs to the top floor of the hotel. Kyungsoo has learned not to question Baekhyun when they do questionable things and so she just follows him up on the rooftop. He chooses a spot where the sun’s rays don’t reach them and he sits down on the ledge, holding her hand until she situates herself securely beside him. In front of them, the sea shimmers under the nearing sunset.

Baekhyun then takes out a small juice bottle and serves some to Kyungsoo in a paper cup much to her surprise. The grin on his face is enough to make her let him get away with it.

“You get away with a lot of things, Byun,” she comments as she takes a sip.

“It’s a nice place to be quiet and just think,” he says instead of commenting on what she said. He leans back on his hands and tilts his face to the sky. “There is much to think about.”

“Like what?” Kyungsoo asks him curiously. Baekhyun’s struck her as the type to never really dwell into things. He seems like a person who goes with the flow and does whatever he wants without second thought.

Baekhyun doesn’t speak for a while, his eyes trained up on the orange, red and purple sky. Kyungsoo can see why anyone would want to come here just to be quiet. _Coney Island_ is almost like a ghost town, except it’s not eerie. It just gives you that sense of peace and relaxation.

“I’m thinking—no—I _am_ taking up music production in university,” Baekhyun suddenly shares. Kyungsoo looks at him, waiting for him to continue. “I love music and I want to make a living producing it for the rest of my life.”

Kyungsoo waits for a bit more for him to elaborate, but Baekhyun’s never been one to explain things further. “You sound so sure,” she remarks.

He shrugs. “It’s what I’ve always wanted to do,” he tells her, lifting his knees up and hugging them to his chest. “I already know which music school I’m going to attend. I’m just waiting for the year to be done so I can get out of here.”

“I thought you didn’t like moving,” she quietly teases.

Baekhyun looks at her in surprise. “When did I ever say that?”

“You didn’t,” Kyungsoo says with a half shrug. “But I figured that it must have been difficult even if it was exciting.” Baekhyun stares at Kyungsoo until it makes her squirm and makes her look away. The sun is kissing the sea, almost disappearing from the horizon. She shivers slightly from the blowing wind.

“It was only exciting the first time,” Baekhyun says, taking a deep breath as he takes his sweater off and puts it around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. She swallows timidly and she pulls the sweater snugger around her. “When we moved the second, third, fourth, fifth… well it wasn’t so exciting anymore.” There’s some invisible dirt on his shoe that he picks on for a bit. “I can’t begrudge my parents for it, though. It’s an honor to serve your country and I see how proud my dad is of that.”

“You’re a very good son, then,” Kyungsoo concludes.

“They gave me life and try their best for me,” Baekhyun says. “That’s something I’ll always be grateful for.”

“So you’re moving again after high school?” Kyungsoo asks, quietly berating herself for how despondent she sounds.

Baekhyun chuckles as if he knows what Kyungsoo is thinking. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all the moving that I did, it’s that you don’t get what you want by staying in one place,” he says, gaze piercing into hers. “New York may be the city of dreams but this isn’t where my dream is right now. Not yet anyway.”

Kyungsoo’s cheeks redden without her permission and she ducks her head to hide her face. She hates how her immediate response to Baekhyun these days is to blush, when she practically didn’t like him when they first knew each other. Somehow it has come to the point where Kyungsoo longs for his company and attention and she isn’t sure exactly how she got there.

“It was hard, moving around so much, meeting people and then saying goodbye almost immediately,” Baekhyun continues, a small knowing smile on his face. He gently nudges her to make her look up at him. “I’m glad I met you, though.”

Baekhyun’s eyes are dark as he gazes at her, into her. It’s almost like he’s trying to tell her so much more but she can’t completely understand what it is, doesn’t want to, because it doesn’t make sense. He’s moving away and leaving her. Why want something you can’t have?

“Music production, huh,” Kyungsoo abruptly changes the subject. “You must really want it.”

“I do and I can’t wait,” he agrees. “I may be unsure of myself right now, but I know what I want and I know who I want to be and, somehow, that helps things right now.”

It must be nice, Kyungsoo thinks, to be so sure about the future.

“What about you? What do you want to do?” Baekhyun asks her.

Kyungsoo thinks about the future, about her family, her brother and sees Harvard, her law textbooks and the brochure of the classes she’s going to take. There’s something else that she sees but she pushes those thoughts away. “I’m going to be a lawyer,” she tells him without pause.

“That’s not what I asked,” Baekhyun replies teasingly.

“I want to make my family proud of me,” Kyungsoo answers the question, putting her arms in the sleeves of Baekhyun’s sweater to finally wear in properly. She tugs it around herself. “That’s what I want. I want to carry on the legacy and make them happy.”

Baekhyun is quiet for a moment before he nods. “I can understand that.”

The quiet that follows is comfortable; so comfortable that Kyungsoo ends up cuddled to Baekhyun, his arm tucking her close to him. Kyungsoo sighs inaudibly because this isn’t how it was supposed to be. She’s supposed to be busy with school, getting ready for applying to universities next year, applying to Harvard for one of the few coveted pre-law spots and not hanging out with a boy she barely even liked in the beginning. Kyungsoo isn’t supposed to feel like she’s falling in love out of her own volition.

Baekhyun isn’t supposed to make her feel like he’s falling in love with her, too.

“ _Home is where I want to be_ ,” he suddenly starts singing. “ _Pick me up and turn me around. I feel numb, burn with a weak heart so I guess I must be having fun. The less we say about it, the better. Make it up as we go along. Feet on the ground, head in the sky. It’s okay I know nothing’s wrong._.”

Baekhyun presses a feather-like kiss on the crown of her head.

Kyungsoo squeezes her eyes shut.

_The less we say about it, the better…_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asks when she gets to the cafeteria. She didn’t see him that morning. In fact she hasn’t really seen or talked to him for a couple of days now. “Do you know where he is?” she asks when Joonmyun and Jongdae exchange a look.

“I think I saw him—“ Baekhyun starts.

“He’s meeting with one of his teachers,” Kris interrupts before he can continue.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo mutters dejectedly. They were supposed to watch _St. Elmo’s Fire_ together a couple of days ago but Chanyeol backed out at the last minute, citing a vague family thing as an excuse. Chanyeol never really spends a lot of time with his family, so now that he is, Kyungsoo thinks it’s nice and lets him off the hook whenever he gives that as a reason to cancel on their regular weekly dates.

“You look upset,” Kris observes.

“Kris,” Joonmyun is immediate to scold him. Jongdae sucks his lower lip in between his teeth.

“Of course I am,” Kyungsoo says, brows furrowed. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Well that’s not exactly his fault isn’t it,” Kris returns stiffly. “I mean you’ve been busy.” He gives Baekhyun a pointed look before looking back at her.

“Hey lay off her, man,” Baekhyun quickly defends Kyungsoo, who is too shocked to even say anything. Kris rarely ever gets mad like this about anything so she’s surprised to find it directed at her.

“I don’t remember speaking to you,” Kris says to him.

“Kris, come on,” Jongdae butts in, placing a hand on his arm, and Kris lets out a frustrated breath.

“I’m going to go shoot some hoops,” Kris announces, packing up his things. He kisses Joonmyun on the head, whispering an apology to her before taking off.

Kyungsoo watches him walk away, incredibly confused. Kris is the quiet one, probably the most rational one out of all of them, after Joonmyun. He rarely ever blurts out his anger because he’s one of those people who let things go easily. So this is truly a surprise to Kyungsoo, who doesn’t know what she’s done to incur such from Kris.

“Okay what was that about?” Kyungsoo asks when she’s able to gather her thoughts. Joonmyun and Jongdae exchange another look.

“He’s just stressed about school projects and extracurriculars,” Joonmyun explains. “He doesn’t mean it.”

“I obviously did something to make him upset,” Kyungsoo insists. “Kris has never gotten mad at me like that before.” He looks to Jongdae. “What did I do? Did I accidentally miss some event or something of Chanyeol’s?”

“No,” Jongdae assures her before hesitating. “But maybe you should, I don’t know, talk to Chanyeol more or something.” He gives Baekhyun an apologetic smile. “Not that you’ve been ignoring him. Just… he may need it right now.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Kyungsoo looks from Joonmyun to Jongdae, ignoring the way Baekhyun’s brows are furrowed as well.

“It’s nothing to be worried about,” Joonmyun pacifies her, as well as Baekhyun. “He just misses you. And forget about Kris. I’ll talk to him later.” She puts her things in her bag. “You know what, I’ll go and talk to him right now.” Smiling, assuring, at Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, she gets up and follows after her boyfriend.

When Jongdae leaves to make a quick stop to the library before afternoon classes start, Baekhyun reaches out and places a consoling hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. She gives him a weak smile as she continues to wonder what it is she could have done. She thinks about Chanyeol and wonders if he’s okay. Maybe she should go to his house and see him later on.

“We could cancel tonight so you can talk to him,” Baekhyun suggests.

Kyungsoo nods. “I think I should stop by his house just to check how he is,” she agrees. “I’m worried all of a sudden. I mean we really haven’t hung out in a while and I’ve been neglecting him—“

“Kyungsoo, seriously,” Baekhyun cuts her off, smiling a little. “You’ve been helping him with homework. You have classes with him. Maybe the two of you are just busier than you have been in the past.”

“You have to admit, though,” Kyungsoo maintains. “I’ve been hanging out more with you when I would normally be with him.” For a second, she thinks she’s crossed a line but Baekhyun just laughs.

“I can’t say I’m sad about that,” he tells her with a grin that makes Kyungsoo go red in the face.

“You’re the worst,” she grumbles, slapping his arm. It’s things like this that make Kyungsoo wonder even more what’s going on between her and Baekhyun. Every now and then, he would say or do something that makes her hopefully confused. But it’s something she never brings up because she’s more afraid of finding out that she made herself want something that’s out of her reach.

“Hanging out with Chanyeol today is a good idea,” Baekhyun says, brushing her hair away from her eyes. “We can push through with our plans during the weekend.”

Kyungsoo sighs, too dreamily in her opinion, once Baekhyun’s walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It feels like it’s been too long when Kyungsoo’s been in Chanyeol’s house. She used to come over practically every day when Chanyeol’s not the one hanging out in her house. The house hasn’t really changed though when she’s ushered into the living room, the same photos and décor on the tables, so she knows she hasn’t stayed away for too long.

There was once a time when she and Chanyeol had played hide and seek in the house and when Chanyeol had found her, Kyungsoo had accidentally knocked a vase over, sending it crashing loudly to the marble floor. She can still remember how she had cried, how Chanyeol had tried to soothe her that it’s not a big deal, that it’s just a vase, and that his mom could probably buy ten more of those. That had calmed Kyungsoo down because it was true but it didn’t change the fact that she had broken a really expensive vase.

Kyungsoo smiles to herself when she sees the different vase placed on the surface where the one she had broken was once placed. Chanyeol had told his mom that he had broken it, to which Mrs. Park had merely sighed resignedly. Kyungsoo remembers how she had hugged Chanyeol so tight, so happy with the way he stood up for her and protected her; so grateful that Chanyeol was her best friend.

Most of her memories as a child have Chanyeol in it and, as cliché as this may sound, she really can’t imagine having a life without him in it. He’s such a big part of her that she really can’t stomach just the thought of not having him around.

“Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol walks into the living room, hair mussed on his head, seemingly shocked to find her in his house.

“Hey stranger,” Kyungsoo teases, getting up from the couch.

“What—“

Kyungsoo rushes to him and envelopes him in a hug before he can continue with his question. “I miss you,” she tells him, voice muffled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”

Chanyeol chuckles as he pulls away and gets a good look at her. “What are you talking about? We see each other everyday,” he reminds her.

Kyungsoo frowns. “But Kris got mad and—“

Chanyeol laughs and ruffles her hair. “Kris is a dick, you know that right?” he interrupts her, shaking his head. “He’s channeling his stress the wrong way. I know you’re never too busy for me.”

“You do?” she asks, big eyes staring at him imploringly.

“Soo.” Chanyeol affectionately wraps his arms around her and kisses her forehead. “Of course I do.”

Kyungsoo closes her eyes as Chanyeol embraces her. Chanyeol always holds her like he’s holding onto her for dear life, like he would never let go because she’s the most important thing to him. And she knows he won’t. Chanyeol has proven time and time again that he would always be there for her no matter what. Sometimes Kyungsoo wonders what she did to deserve a friend like him.

“Do you want to watch some tapes with me?” he then asks, pulling away.

“ _Miami Vice_?” she asks, laughing.

“I was thinking along the lines of _Sixteen Candles_ ,” Chanyeol tells her, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kyungsoo laughs as her best friend leads her upstairs, babbling on and on about school and drawing and band practice, and she breathes a sigh of relief. Everything is okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t think too much of it when Baekhyun drags her to a rundown part of the city where she wouldn’t be normally caught dead in because Chanyeol and the others won’t allow her to go there. But it’s Baekhyun and, as with everything, Kyungsoo trusts him; maybe a little bit more than she should, but there isn’t much she can do about that now. There’s a nagging thought in her head (that sounds a lot like Joonmyun’s voice) that’s telling her to be more careful. But, in true Kyungsoo fashion, she ignores it and shoves it back down where she can’t hear it no longer.

Baekhyun is pulling her inside what looks like a really old warehouse when Kyungsoo becomes aware of her surroundings. She pulls Baekhyun’s hand to stop him.

“Where are we?” she asks, slightly apprehensive. “What is this place?”

Baekhyun just smiles at her. “You’ll see,” is all he says before squeezing her hand and tugging her further inside.

As they walk deeper into the warehouse, she starts hearing several voices, as well as some guitar and drum playing. Kyungsoo eyes Baekhyun, who merely winks at her in response, which is enough of an assurance to her that he’s not kidnapping her or something.

“Oh,” is Kyungsoo’s reaction when she sees a full band set up with a couple of guys seemingly doing some tuning up. There’s a drummer, a guitarist and a bassist jamming to some random _The Smiths_ song. She looks at Baekhyun when he squeezes her hand. “What’s all this? Are we getting a special band performance or something?” she asks when Baekhyun pulls a chair for her.

“Sure,” Baekhyun tells her with a nod of his head. He grabs another chair and takes a seat, nodding to the drummer, who immediately starts playing, the guitarist and bassist following his lead.

They start playing a melody that Kyungsoo immediately recognizes, making her gasp in excitement. Baekhyun chuckles beside her but she doesn’t care, mouthing _so you think you’re lonely, well my friend I’m lonely too, I wanna get back to my city by the bay_ and bobbing her head to the beat.

Each drumbeat, each twang of the guitar and plunk of the bass sends shivers through Kyungsoo’s skin. Each note feels like it’s reaching out to her, speaking to her, and she closes her eyes to revel in the melodies. It’s been so long since she’s sat down like this, just listening to music, enjoying it because music can hurt. Going to a concert was a gamble because Kyungsoo has conditioned herself not to get caught too much in things she can’t handle. Going to the concert could have made herself relive things she promised she would forget. But then Baekhyun was right there and she felt grounded in a way she hasn’t been in a long time.

Opening her eyes, she turns to Baekhyun. Kyungsoo’s surprised to find him staring at her with this look on his face that she doesn’t comprehend but knows he gives her often. He’s looking at her intently but there’s a soft look in his eyes, his brows slightly furrowed, creating a small line in between them. Kyungsoo wants to extend her arm to smooth it out but Baekhyun flinches, leaning back on his seat and she stomps the feeling down.

Baekhyun suddenly gets up and takes the microphone from the guitarist, swerving around to face Kyungsoo, an annoyingly attractive grin on his face that has Kyungsoo’s cheeks flushing with all the things she’s trying to shove back down.

“ _I want the one I can’t have and it’s driving me mad. It’s written all over my face_ ,” Baekhyun sings and Kyungsoo couldn’t choke back the laughter in her throat at the irony.

Baekhyun shines when he talks about music, his voice even shimmers through the mix tapes that he randomly leaves in Kyungsoo’s bag, but there is nothing like seeing Baekhyun actually shining as if music is racing through his veins. He sings like he means what the song is saying, like he’s the one who wrote the words, like he’s the one who feels it.

_I want the one I can’t have and it’s driving me mad. It’s written all over my face._

Kyungsoo averts her gaze because there are no truer words. But if it’s not real for Baekhyun, it can’t be real for her. It can’t be real if it’s not real.

Her grandmother always talked to her about dreams. “The piano is a beautiful thing,” her grandmother would always say. “ _Music_ is a beautiful thing. It’s a form of speech that not everyone is gifted to have. Not everyone can express themselves through music.” She would then go on playing and Kyungsoo would keep on being mesmerized. Then her grandmother would pause, her elegant fingers poised on the white keys, and turn to her with a warm smile that she could never forget. “So if you have it, you should never be afraid to use it.”

Handling fear has never been one of Kyungsoo’s strengths, going against them, much less. But Kyungsoo does understand what her grandmother meant when she said that music is a gift. As she watches Baekhyun sing, there isn’t a doubt in her mind that he has it. There probably isn’t anyone who doesn’t see how gifted Baekhyun is, most especially when he bares himself like this.

_I want the one I can’t have and it’s driving me mad._

“You can have it, too,” Baekhyun interrupts her thoughts. He’s standing right in front of her, a hand reached out.

Kyungsoo glances at the band, now quieter and expectant, before looking back at Baekhyun. “I can’t,” she practically blurts out as they switch to playing another familiar song. “I don’t sing.”

“ _Hi yo, you got light in your eyes, and you’re standing beside me_ ,” Baekhyun starts singing, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Someone who can play the piano like you did… I think you’ve got some more musical tricks up your sleeve.” He beams at her. “ _Home is where I want to be but I guess I’m already there_.” Kyungsoo rolls her eyes and shakes her head at him. “I’m right here.” He offers his hand again.

Baekhyun’s voice is grating just like the way he is, relentless almost to the point of annoying. Except Kyungsoo is never really annoyed with him anymore. She takes a deep breath, her chest heaving up as she lifts up all of those things she forced herself to not have, and grabs his hand to get up.

“I don’t like you very much,” Kyungsoo tells him as she grabs the microphone from him.

“I remember,” Baekhyun concurs with chuckle. “I already know who’s going to win the bet.” He winks at her as he takes a step back to give her the floor.

_Home is where I want to be._  
Pick me up and turn me round.  
I feel numb – born with a weak heart.  
So I guess I must be having fun.  
The less we say about it, the better.  
Make it up as we go along.  
Feet on the ground, head in the sky.

“I’m really not a singer,” she tells Baekhyun as her voice wavers.

“You sure are,” Baekhyun declares, looking at Kyungsoo with such wonder and amazement that makes her even more nervous. “I think you can be one hell of a singer.”

The way he says it leaves Kyungsoo no room for argument.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“He took you singing?” Jongdae’s mouth is open so unattractively that Kyungsoo immediately closes it for him with a finger. “Like what, to an open mic night or something?”

Kyungsoo shakes her head, grinning. “No,” she explains. “He hired some band or something and we went to some warehouse—“

“Where?” Chanyeol interrupts. He’s looking at Kyungsoo with so much concern that she has to take his hand in hers and squeeze it. “Kyungsoo, if Baekhyun is taking you to unsafe places…”

“He’s not,” she corrects him almost instantly that Joonmyun bites back her smile. “You know Baekhyun.” Chanyeol merely hums and goes back to copying Jongdae’s homework.

“So you did sing,” Joonmyun pulls them back to the conversation. “There’s the talent—“

“Don’t get any ideas,” Kyungsoo starts, recognizing the look on Joonmyun’s face. “Just because I sang once, doesn’t mean I’m going to be doing it again.”

“Well you did say you were never going to—“ Jongdae starts but cuts himself off at Chanyeol’s nudge. “So what did Baekhyun say? I mean, he’s never heard you sing.”

Kyungsoo rolls her eyes as she recalls how Baekhyun just about lavished her with praises that she’s sure she doesn’t deserve. One song doesn’t equate to her being a good singer, or even a singer, but the way Baekhyun reacted, one would think it’s something of a calling. Still, she can’t forget the way he smiled when he told her how great she was.

Chanyeol scoffs. “That’s nothing new though,” he says, not even bothering to look up from his schoolwork. “We all know how good you are. _I_ know how good you are just like how everything good about you isn’t a surprise. Baekhyun is an idiot.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, taken aback at the almost hostile response, missing the way Jongdae and Joonmyun exchange a glance. Chanyeol is friends with Baekhyun and Baekhyun is still relatively new to the group so it’s no surprise that there are things he wouldn’t know. That is no reason for Chanyeol to get upset, though, so it baffles Kyungsoo why he reacted like that.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo slowly replies. “Well I think he was just being nice.”

“He shouldn’t be,” Chanyeol reacts. “Not to you. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s an idiot.”

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo tells him off. She’s hoping for some sort of reinforcement from Joonmyun or Jongdae, but they both just shrug helplessly at her. “Why are you being like this?”

“I’m not being like anything,” Chanyeol hotly says, meeting her gaze. “I’m just telling the truth. Baekhyun doesn’t know anything. He’s being an idiot and if he knew any better he would stop right now.”

“But he’s not doing anything wrong,” Kyungsoo defends Baekhyun.

“Since when do you trust people so easily?” Chanyeol throws back at her.

“Baekhyun’s your friend,” Kyungsoo reminds him. “Of course I trust him.”

“It took you a full year to even confide in Joonmyun,” Chanyeol jogs her memory. “You’ve known Baekhyun, what, four months?”

“I thought you wanted me to—“ Kyungsoo starts.

“No,” Chanyeol cuts her off. “I didn’t want you to do _this_.” He gathers his things and shoves them haphazardly in his bag. “As a matter of fact, I didn’t ask you to do anything.”

“You wanted me to like him,” Kyungsoo says, grabbing Chanyeol’s bag and throwing it back to the ground. “You were being all mopey because you said that Baekhyun’s had a hard time and that you appreciated the fact that I’m making an effort to be his friend. You _wanted_ me to like him. You wanted me to be his friend.”

“Well I guess I got what I wanted then,” Chanyeol snaps, standing up. He grabs his bag and stalks off.

Kyungsoo stares at the space that Chanyeol vacated and scoffs in disbelief. In all the years they’ve been friends, they have never fought like that. Kyungsoo may have the tendency to be violent with her reactions but she’s level-headed when she gets mad. Chanyeol may be boisterous and enthusiastic about everything but his temper never flies off the handle. They have never disagreed about anything so petty.

“What just happened?” Kyungsoo asks Joonmyun and Jongdae. “I don’t understand what… What was that about?”

“He’s probably just really stressed,” Jongdae offers lamely. He cowers when Kyungsoo shoots him a glare.

“Is there something wrong with me and Baekhyun being friends?” Kyungsoo demands. “He practically begged me to look after Baekhyun and now that I’m doing it, he doesn’t seem very happy.”

“I think…” Joonmyun slowly explains. “…that you and Chanyeol are upset about two different things.”

“Joonmyun, you were right there,” Kyungsoo says, shaking her head. “I think it’s pretty clear.”

“Okay, Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun gently states. “I am not holding it against you. I’m not saying that you did something wrong, but you really haven’t been around very much. I mean you and Baekhyun have been going out a lot and there are some things that you may have failed to notice.”

“He misses you,” Jongdae offers again.

“He has a funny way of showing it,” Kyungsoo mutters.

“Just believe me when I say that Chanyeol isn’t mad at the reason that you’re thinking he is,” Joonmyun repeats.

“He’s still mad at me,” Kyungsoo sadly reminds them.

“He’s not, though,” Jongdae retorts, looking surprised at her words. Kyungsoo meets his gaze. “He isn’t mad at you, Kyungsoo. That’s the last thing he is.”

“Then what was all the yelling for?” Kyungsoo gestures, referring to the argument that just transpired.

“He’s mad at himself,” Jongdae says.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol once told Kyungsoo that she was the most important girl in his life. She had rolled her eyes back then and reminded him that she’s actually third in the list of the most important girls in his life because there was still his mother and Yoora. Kyungsoo still remembers clearly how Chanyeol had cupped her face to make sure she wouldn’t look away as he said his next words.

“They are important, but they’re also family so they don’t count,” Chanyeol had said. “You don’t choose who your family is going to be. But you can choose the rest of the people that you let into your life. I choose you. You are the first and best person I choose to let into mine. You are the most important girl in my life, Kyungsoo Do.”

Kyungsoo remembers how she had laughed at his seriousness and how Chanyeol had laughed it off as well. But then he kept on insisting that he wasn’t lying or kidding around, that just because he laughed (which he only did because she did) it meant that he didn’t mean what he said. In truth, Kyungsoo believed him. She really did. Because Chanyeol was that kind of person who never said anything he didn’t mean, even if he meant it only at that moment. He still meant it.

Chanyeol’s anger, he meant that, too. He meant what he said in his argument with her. Chanyeol meant that he didn’t like the way Kyungsoo’s friendship with Baekhyun is going. Kyungsoo has to stop and consider that. Chanyeol’s never really asked anything from her in all the time they’ve been friends. Maybe it’s time that she stopped to give something back.

“You’re thinking so hard.” Jongdae puts an arm around her when all she does is look at him with a blank look. “You’re going to grow old before your time. You’re always so stressed these days.”

“Yes well, I don’t have anyone to talk to about it,” Kyungsoo mutters with a pout.

“What am I a statue?” Jongdae pulls away from her, looking offended.

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo starts, linking his arm with his to pull him back. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Jongdae sighs and gives in when Kyungsoo wraps an arm around his waist. He half hugs her when she cuddles, not caring whether they’re displaying too much affection in public. “You know,” he says conversationally, “Liyin agreed to go out with me.”

Kyungsoo pulls away to look at his face and smile at him. “On a proper date?”

“Yes,” Jongdae chuckles, pulling her back to him. “Not in the library for research. But on a proper date, in a restaurant with food and drinks.”

“That’s really great,” Kyungsoo tells him, giggling. “I’m so happy for you.”

Jongdae sighs, but Kyungsoo thinks it’s the dreamy kind. “I really do like her,” he confesses like she doesn’t already know this.

“I know,” she says. Kyungsoo has never seen Jongdae smile at anyone the way he smiles at Liyin, like she makes him happy even when she’s not doing anything. It’s like her mere existence is joy enough for him.

“She told me that she admired my persistence,” he shares with a laugh. “She told me that anyone with the kind of dedication that I have would go far in life. I just told her that I just really liked her.” Kyungsoo giggles. Of course Jongdae would be cheesy like that. “I agree with her, though,” he continues. “Anything that we want to have, we should just go for it. Try and try and try, until there’s a breakthrough. I mean, I really didn’t think I had a shot with Liyin. She’s this amazing person and I’m me.”

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo unwraps herself from around him, affronted. “You’re an amazing guy. You’re loyal and funny and dedicated, just like she said. You’re incredibly patient and you’re a good listener and you’re fun to be around.”

“I noticed you skipped _handsome_ ,” Jongdae inputs.

“The point is,” Kyungsoo ignores him, “that you’re a great guy and people should be lining up because anyone would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend.”

“I don’t see a line anywhere,” Jongdae comments, looking around.

“Jongdae,” she says, making a face at him.

“I’m kidding,” he teases her, shoving her lightly. “I know I’m great.” Kyungsoo scoffs. “But Liyin is so amazing that she makes me want to do better. You know that she got into early admission for Stanford pre-law?”

“Wow,” Kyungsoo says, leaning back in surprise.

“Yeah,” Jongdae confirms with a nod. “I know, right? Who would’ve thought? She’s in cheerleading because she loves dancing and wants to support her brother’s football. But she works really hard at school and she really wants to go into law because she loves history and politics and wants to give back to society or something like that. And I’m just… in awe. I’ve never met a person like her, who is so focused at what she wants. I just want to be the same and, I think that anyone who makes you want to be better, who makes you want to be your best self is a keeper, don’t you think?”

“She does sound like a keeper,” Kyungsoo agrees with a smile. “I’m glad you’re going out with her on a proper date.”

“Me too,” Jongdae admits.

Kyungsoo leans her head on Jongdae’s shoulder, smiling. Jongdae’s always been the happy type of person but she’s really never seen him this happy before. He is right, though, perseverance does pay off. His certainly did.

“I don’t know what I want,” Kyungsoo speaks up, squeezing her eyes shut as she does. She isn’t sure that she knows exactly what she’s referring to and Jongdae probably wants to ask but he doesn’t. “I don’t know… sometimes, I think I know and sometimes I think I can go for it but then I stop to think and I realize I can’t.” Baekhyun’s face flashes in her mind and she takes a deep breath. “But there are people I’ve met who make me want to be better, Jongdae. Just like how Liyin does it for you—or maybe not exactly the same, but they just make me want to do more and be more and it’s scary. Because I don’t think I can do it. What if it’s a mistake and—“

“Hey,” Jongdae whispers, rubbing his hand up and down her shoulder soothingly. “It’s okay to be scared. But if it scares you, don’t you think it’s worth trying anyway? Like why are you so scared? I think that’s something we always have to consider. What’s so bad about trying it out right?”

Kyungsoo agrees. But, at the same time, she doesn’t think it’s that easy. She doesn’t have Jongdae’s courage, or his positive attitude towards everything. She doesn’t think she can do what he did with Liyin or with how he’s going to pursue what he wants for university even if it’s against his parents’ wishes. Kyungsoo wishes that she did, though. She wishes that she were built like Jongdae, that she could overcome her fears, that she could admit to things she didn’t think she’d ever feel.

“But what if other people don’t understand?” she asks meekly.

He sighs. “I think we have to make the people around us understand anyway,” is what he says. “We have to make them see that this is what we want, that this is what will make us happy. But first,” he maintains, lifting Kyungsoo’s face so she would look at him, “you have to admit that you want it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol is still not speaking to her. When Kyungsoo smiled at him when she arrived with her parents and made a beeline for the Park family, Chanyeol just looked at her like he was looking past her. He smiled when their parents shooed them off, putting a hand on her back as they ushered themselves away because it was the proper thing to do. But, as soon as they were out of sight, Chanyeol turned away and left her. Social events like this were much easier, even fun, when Chanyeol was around. But now Kyungsoo almost wishes that he wasn’t here. That way she wouldn’t feel bad every time she sees him in the crowd.

They continue the avoiding dance until they were seated at the same table, right beside each other. Joonmyun and Kris grace them with their presence, their clothes noticeably rumpled. Kyungsoo just ignores that and smiles as Joonmyun sits on her other side. Joonmyun gives her hand a squeeze and Kyungsoo thinks she can make it through this dinner if only for the presence of a friendly face.

The meat on Kyungsoo’s plate is too tough. She places her utensils on the side of her plate, giving up having to eat anything for the evening, and pays attention to Joonmyun instead. She’s been going on and on about university event that Columbia throws to the freshman, while Kris tries to calm her down with a large hand on Joonmyun’s significantly smaller one. Kyungsoo watches as Joonmyun’s noticeably relaxes as her boyfriend smiles at her. Kris has always mastered the art of making Joonmyun relax. Probably the perks of being the love of her life.

When Kyungsoo moves to take a sip of her drink, she notices that the steak on her plate is gone. She looks down on her lap then on the floor for it before she sees that Chanyeol is hard at work cutting something down. Her steak.

“Chanyeol, you don’t have to,” Kyungsoo speaks up, mouth dry.

“I’d rather you ate something,” is all Chanyeol says before dumping all the cut up meat on her plate. Chanyeol is mad at her. He’s mad at her and he shouldn’t be nice to her.

“But—“ she tries again.

“Eat something,” Chanyeol insists, eyes firm.

Kyungsoo pokes a piece of the steak with her fork and puts it in her mouth. “Thank you,” she tells him. Chanyeol just smiles and goes back to his food.

The event feels considerably less stiff after that. Kyungsoo relaxes at the thought that maybe she and Chanyeol would start speaking again soon enough. She tries to go after him when the event finishes but Chanyeol disappears through the doors before she could even excuse herself from her parents.

When she gets home that evening, however, she finds Chanyeol sitting inside the lobby. He stands up when they walk in, greeting Kyungsoo’s parents properly before they disappear into the elevator.

“Hey,” Chanyeol says, shoving his hands in his slacks pockets.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo slowly returns.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asks with a small hopeful smile.

Kyungsoo glances outside, watching and hearing how the wind softly blows. When she turns to Chanyeol, he’s already putting his jacket around her.

“Okay,” she agrees, wrapping the jacket tighter around her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What are we doing here?” Kyungsoo asks, raising an eyebrow at Baekhyun, who is grinning at her like Christmas arrived early.

They’re outside the Imperial Theatre in the middle of West 45th Street with all the bright lights and dressed up people who are cueing up to go inside. Baekhyun himself is dressed to the nines and he’s also asked Kyungsoo to dress up formally. If she didn’t know anything better, she would think that they were going to watch the musical. Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

“Baekhyun, are you serious?” Kyungsoo gasps, looking up at the theatre sign that reads _They’re Playing Our Song_. “You can’t be serious!”

“I am always serious,” Baekhyun tells her gravely, winking at her as he offers his arm to her and escorts her inside.

“Oh my goodness,” Kyungsoo whispers as they walk in, amazed by the grandeur of the theatre. She’s never been inside any of the theatres in New York because she’s never watched any of the plays or musicals before. “This is incredible.”

“Just wait until we get inside,” Baekhyun tells her with a bigger smile.

The theatre itself is even more impressive than Kyungsoo could have imagined. The whole floor is carpeted, muffling all the footsteps, the sounds of the designer heels and expensive leather shoes. The seats are dark red, very comfortable and warm, and when Kyungsoo sinks into them she could feel herself getting cozy enough to allow herself to sleep if she wanted to.

Their seats are by the orchestra, where Kyungsoo can see the band, the violinists, the pianist, the cellists, the trumpet players and all the other musicians. They’re tuning their instruments, creating some sort of musical din in the hallowed hall and Kyungsoo just sighs back in her seat, slightly overwhelmed.

“What are we doing here, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asks again, turning towards him. He has this contented look on his face that makes Kyungsoo want to lean forward and kiss him. She coughs at the thought and leans back just to make sure she wouldn’t do it.

Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s my birthday,” he shares like it’s nothing.

“What?” she croaks. “Did you say it’s your birthday?”

“I did,” he confirms with a chuckle. “It’s my birthday.”

“And what, you decided you wanted to splurge on a musical?” Kyungsoo persists, glancing around as the seats around them get filled up with very well dressed and seemingly exceedingly rich people.

“No,” Baekhyun answers, shaking his head. “That I wanted to spend it with you.”

Chanyeol’s face flashes in Kyungsoo’s head. Chanyeol, standing in front of her, handsome even when his necktie is loose, his shirt a little disheveled, his hair messed up from when he kept on running his fingers through it.

“I like you, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol had said and Kyungsoo stood frozen in her place. “I’ve liked you for a while now. That’s why I was so mad. That’s why I got upset. That’s why I’m not very happy… with you and Baekhyun being close. I like you.”

Kyungsoo remembers wrapping Chanyeol’s suit jacket tighter around her.

Chanyeol confessing to her is the last thing that Kyungsoo expected to happen. He’s such an important person in her life, so important that she was so taken aback; she just stared at him in muted astonishment. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do then and she still doesn’t know what to do now. What she knows is that Chanyeol is important to her and she doesn’t want to hurt him.

Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun, smiling at her, half smug, half expectant and she wishes she didn’t want to kiss him so badly.

“Baekhyun,” she starts. “I…”

Right then, the lights dim and the words die in her throat. Baekhyun’s hand finds hers in the dark, squeezing it, assuring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo remembers wanting to watch _The Phantom of the Opera_. She’s heard about how grand and how magnificent of a production it is from Joonmyun, who has probably watched almost every popular musical in Broadway. Joonmyun had told her about the kind of love and the passion that the characters in that musical had, how Raoul’s love had completed Christine and how the Phantom’s love for her had, in turn, nearly destroyed that completeness and her. Raoul and Christine’s love is the kind of love that Joonmyun had always dreamed of, that dreamy and unconditional kind that made you do things purely because it was for the better of the other.

Vernon and Sonia’s love story in _They’re Playing Our Song_ is different. While it may be a love stemming from similar passions, it was also sudden and blazing. They fought all the time because of jealousy and misunderstandings and couldn’t seem to agree on anything. At the end of the day, they had each other and knew that they were in love. At the end of the musical, they got back together because they knew they wanted to be together.

Kyungsoo thinks she would like a love that’s more similar to that. She understands what Joonmyun is saying about passion and doing anything for the one you love, but Kyungsoo also understands that there has to be much passion within you to be able to give away that kind of passion to another person. With Sonia and Vernon in _They’re Playing Our Song_ , they both want to love each other the way they both want to be loved, but it’s not working because of the jealousy and miscommunications, because they both still need to grow individually. Kyungsoo thinks it would be nice if she could find someone who would want to grow with her as they showered each other with love.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo tells Baekhyun as the curtain falls and the house lights go on. The people around them stand up to make their way to the exits.

“Did you like it?” Baekhyun asks.

“I more than liked it,” Kyungsoo responds emphatically, holding his hand tightly. “I _loved_ it. Thank you.”

Baekhyun smiles proudly at her. He pulls her to stand so they could start leaving the venue. “It’s just a two-person play, but it was really good,” he says.

“Well it’s like that in relationships, too, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo tells him, keeping close to Baekhyun to avoid bumping into other people. “Sometimes the world just disappears when you’re in a relationship.” She laughs at the cheesiness of it.

Baekhyun chuckles, tightening his hold on her hand. “I really liked how it felt real,” he shares. “How it showed that relationships tend to get messy when there’s jealousy and when there’s no communication.”

“It did feel real,” Kyungsoo responds with a nod. “I liked how they both had something they were good at, that they’re individually successful but that being in a relationship is still something they had to learn, like it was another goal.”

“Or a dream,” Baekhyun pipes in.

“Dreams,” Kyungsoo murmurs.

New York at night continues to be incredible. Even though Kyungsoo has seen it so many times, it never fails to make her feel breathless. West 45th Street is filled with people coming out of theatres, musicals being finished, all glammed up in their best formal wear, fur coats and gold.

“I don’t know how anyone can ever leave New York or not dream of being here at any point in their lives,” Kyungsoo suddenly states, looking up at the sky.

“Well it is the city of dreams,” Baekhyun reminds her. “So everyone probably does dream of coming here at least once.”

“Do you think that’s true?” she then asks, looking at him. Baekhyun’s hair is soft on his forehead, the wind gently ruffling it, his eyes lined dark, and his lips are pink due to the slight cold. They stretch when he smiles and Kyungsoo gets that urge to kiss him again.

“I think that you don’t have to live in New York to follow your dreams,” Baekhyun tells her. “This isn’t the only place where they can come true, just like how there isn’t just one thing that you can dream, one thing that you can want.”

The cars go past them in varying speeds and Baekhyun makes sure Kyungsoo stays close to him as they walk down the sidewalk. Her heels click on the pavement as she tries to keep up with Baekhyun’s bigger strides, his own black leather shoes making their own sound. They must look silly like this; a girl and a guy wearing formal wear, holding hands, like they’re… Kyungsoo abruptly pulls her hand away, startling Baekhyun.

“Kyungsoo?” he prompts.

“What did you mean?” she suddenly asks. “About having more than one thing you can want.”

Baekhyun glances at Kyungsoo’s hands, which she clasps together, before lifting his eyes to look at her. “I meant that there are always decisions to be made,” he explains. “But that you don’t always have to choose between that or several other things. Like… like how you can still sing even if you want to study to be a lawyer.”

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says his name, almost reprimanding. She stops walking but takes a step back when he turns to face her.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun slowly starts. “I know that you want to sing, that you—“

“How can you know that I want that when I know for myself that it isn’t true?” she interrupts him. Her heart is beating fast in her chest. No one has ever talked to her like this. No one has ever talked to her about singing or music. No one else was like her grandmother. “It’s not true. I don’t want to sing. I don’t like singing. I don’t like music. It’s a part of me that I don’t remember anymore.”

“And yet,” Baekhyun maintains calmly, “when you listen to a song you like, when you hear even so much as an attractive melody, you start humming and singing along. You get stars in your eyes when there’s music, like you want to do something to be a part of it. Like when we were watching earlier.”

“I don’t… know what you’re talking about,” Kyungsoo helplessly replies. This cannot be happening. She made sure that nothing like this would be brought up. She made sure that she kept it at bay. Music is no longer a part of her life anymore. She’d forgone singing for a long time.

“When you sang with the band,” Baekhyun jogs her memory, smiling when she meets his eyes, “you sang beautifully, like you were meant to do it, even though you were afraid and kept on insisting that you aren’t a singer.” He pauses and takes a step towards her and holds her hand. “You _are_ a singer, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo closes her eyes.

“You are a wonderful singer, Kyungsoo,” her grandmother had told her after she had played the piano for her and had sung along. “That was really lovely.” She had smiled at her like she meant and believed what she said. “You shine the most when you do what you love.”

But that’s not what Kyungsoo needs. She doesn’t want to be a singer. She’s going to be a lawyer.

Opening her eyes, she pulls her hand away again and shakes her head. “I’m not,” she whispers. “I’m really not.”

“What are you so afraid of?” Baekhyun asks her frankly. “I don’t understand why you keep denying it when everything you do just shows that this is what you want.”

“I’m going to be a lawyer,” Kyungsoo reminds him, taking a deep breath as she starts walking again.

“You keep saying that,” Baekhyun says, following after her. “You always say that you’re going to be a lawyer.”

“Because that’s what’s going to happen,” she returns. “I am going to be a lawyer. I’m going to study in Harvard, take up pre-law and take up law and become a lawyer. I’m going to practice it and become successful and my family will be happy.”

“Don’t _you_ want to be happy, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun grabs her wrist and makes her face him.

“What—“

“You always say that you want to be a lawyer because it will make your family happy,” he reminds her. “But don’t you want to be a lawyer because it will make _you_ happy? Is that what will make you happy?”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and remembers. She thinks about what it was once like, when she had followed her heart and tried. She remembers how much it hurt after. Shaking her head, she takes a couple of steps back.

“You never say that being a lawyer is what you want,” Baekhyun says softly. “You’ve never said that being a lawyer will make you happy.”

“I’m done with singing,” Kyungsoo chokes, blinking rapidly. She swipes at her face when a tear falls on her cheek. “I’m done.”

Baekhyun chuckles, reaching out to wipe another tear that falls on her other cheek. “You talk like you’re 40,” he comments.

“I may as well be,” she says as more tears spill on her cheeks.

“Even so,” he maintains, cupping her face with his hands before wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. “Dreams have no expiration date.”

“I really, really don’t like you, you know that right?” Kyungsoo tells him through his shoulder.

Baekhyun laughs, a hand on the back of her head, ruffling her hair. “It ain’t over until it’s over.”

Kyungsoo lets herself cry. She lets the fear overwhelm her. But now that she’s letting herself be afraid, she can recall much clearer what it had been like when she hadn’t closed herself up, when she still had her grandmother to tell her that she’s a lovely singer. What are the odds that Baekhyun would be the one to open her up again? Kyungsoo remembers Jongdae talking about how Liyin makes him want to be better and remembers that she had thought the same about Baekhyun. Maybe she really feels more for Baekhyun than she had earlier admitted to herself. Maybe it’s time that she gave in to that just like how, maybe, she’s giving in to singing again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t wait for the week to be over,” Jongdae groans as he buries his face into his arms. He slumps on the table, leaning heavily on Kris, who glares at him even though Jongdae can’t see it.

“It’s Friday, Jongdae,” Chanyeol tells him flatly.

“So what?” Jongdae retorts, lifting his head up. “It’s not 4 o’clock yet. That’s when the week ends.” Kris snickers and Chanyeol makes a face at the both of them.

“You can’t wait for another 20 minutes?” Joonmyun rolls her eyes at him, leaning into Kris’ embrace.

They’re staying at their normal hangout at the quad. Kris and Joonmyun have study period, while Chanyeol, Jongdae and Kyungsoo have been let out of their class early. Baekhyun, meanwhile, is still stuck in class. It’s nice hanging out like this on a Friday afternoon, where they can start relaxing even before their classes have ended.

“Twenty minutes is too long,” Jongdae whines, leaning his head on Kris’s shoulder, jostling Kris and Joonmyun, who pouts. “Hey,” he suddenly says, straightening up. “Are you guys going to that benefit later? My mom is making me go. Please say you’re going to be there.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re unable to escape these things no matter how hard we try,” Chanyeol snickers.

“Well you haven’t been present in the past couple of events,” Jongdae reminds him before stopping himself so suddenly. He glances at Kyungsoo, who doesn’t notice and just continues writing down something on her planner.

“Did you guys want to go together?” Joonmyun asks them. “Kris is picking me up because my parents are coming from another benefit. We can drop by your place and go together.”

“I’ll pass,” Kyungsoo tells them without looking up.

“Why?” Chanyeol wants to know.

“I have to attend rehearsal before going home,” Kyungsoo answers. “I’ll make you guys late.”

“Rehearsal for what?” Jongdae wants to know, looking curious.

“For the talent show at the school fair,” Kyungsoo responds absently

“For the what?” Chanyeol, Jongdae and Joonmyun chorus, making Kyungsoo look up for the first time.

Her friends are staring at her like she’d done something unforgiveable with the way their eyes are wide and mouths hanging open when she’s only told them that she was going to rehearse for the talent show. Kyungsoo closes her eyes for a second when she realizes what she’s done. She gives them a sheepish smile.

“You joined the talent show?” Chanyeol slowly asks.

“Um,” Kyungsoo says, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Surprise?”

“Oh my goodness, Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun gushes, squeezing her hand from across the table.

“When did this happen?” Jongdae demands. “Because the last time we talked about this, you and Chanyeol had a face off.”

Kyungsoo rolls her eyes. “That isn’t what happened,” she corrects him then shrugs as she closes her planner. “Baekhyun signed me up for it. We had a discussion about it. It wasn’t pretty, mind you,” she tells them and the whole table goes quiet. “What?”

“You joined because Baekhyun asked you to?” Kris, speaking up for the first time, clarifies.

Kyungsoo opens her mouth then closes it again when she sees Chanyeol staring very intently at the tabletop. She didn’t intend it to sound the way it did, like maybe Baekhyun is more special because he managed to make Kyungsoo do something that they’ve been asking of her in a long time. It really just so happened that Baekhyun had signed her up and, after making her admit that she still wanted to sing, she couldn’t really back out on it. Before she could explain, Chanyeol had stood up to leave.

“Chanyeol, where are you going?” Kyungsoo calls after him, but Chanyeol doesn’t stop walking away.

“So he told you,” Kris asks when the table remains quiet. Kyungsoo just looks at him and he sighs.

“This is what you meant, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo suddenly asks them. “This is why you,” she refers to Kris, “were so mad that I was spending so much time with Baekhyun; why you,” she then turns to Jongdae and Joonmyun, “told me that Chanyeol was mad for a different reason than I was thinking.”

Joonmyun sighs. “Chanyeol’s grandmother was also sick for the past couple of days,” she reveals. Kyungsoo stares at her. Joonmyun is biting her lower lip. “I think it was really more of that and you being busy than him liking you.” She pauses for a bit to fiddle with the pen that she’s holding. “But it’s not your fault.”

Kyungsoo cried like a baby when her grandmother died. She’d cooped herself up in her room long after the burial, refusing to come to school for a week. No one really understood how much her grandmother meant to her aside from Chanyeol. No one had hugged Kyungsoo and comforted her the way Chanyeol did. She’d promised him then that she would be there for Chanyeol no matter what he needed from her, the way she’d also promised that she wouldn’t hurt him.

Kyungsoo isn’t sure breaking which promise is worse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo likes having Baekhyun being around. She likes his regular invitations to go out because it meant that she wouldn’t be cooped up at home with her books and with her mind; it also meant being able to see more of New York, a place that she thought she knew by heart. She likes hearing Baekhyun talk, his voice washing over her like a calm before a storm. His voice is constant music to her ears, the way he teases her, tells her about his dreams, the way he laughs, the way he always tells her that there is so much more in the world to want and dream about.

Kyungsoo has gotten used to Baekhyun only being at most an arm’s length away, where it’s easy to push him away for being annoying or pull him closer for some warmth. She likes the way he pulls her close, likes the way she lets him.

She’s pretty sure that Baekhyun knows all of this, obvious with the way he’s constantly around, which is why she knows he’s surprised and confused when she says no to going out with him. It’s the third time in two weeks that she’s asked to reschedule.

Kyungsoo watches as the corners of Baekhyun’s mouth turn down as he tries hard not to show his disappointment. Baekhyun always tries so hard to pretend that he doesn’t get affected and tries so hard not to let his feelings show so Kyungsoo acts as if he’s not reflecting how he actually feels.

“You’re going home to study?” Baekhyun asks as they walk out of class. Chanyeol has since long stopped waiting for her after classes, which Kyungsoo can’t help anymore. She’s tried to talk to him twice, to make him understand that Baekhyun is just her friend, that they’re just friends, and that her joining the talent show had absolutely nothing to do with feelings.

“I actually have to rehearse for the talent show,” Kyungsoo admits, turning a corner towards the direction of the music room. “That’s what I’ve been doing, rehearsing.” While it’s not exactly the reason why Kyungsoo doesn’t want to go out with him, but it’s a good enough reason anyway.

The school fair is that weekend and Kyungsoo is still having a hard time with steadying her voice at the beginning of the song. She always gets too nervous and antsy before she begins and that affects the whole first stanza until she gets her bearings. By the beginning of the first chorus, she’s doing okay but her voice only really stabilizes as the chorus ends. The second stanza onwards is a piece of cake after that. Still, practicing everyday for two weeks hasn’t calmed her nerves.

“Oh?” Baekhyun’s expression changes and he smiles. “What are you singing?”

Kyungsoo is singing a love song, that kind that’s ridiculous because it’s the kind that talks about being in love even if it’s not right. “Something I probably shouldn’t be singing,” is her answer and Baekhyun laughs.

Baekhyun follows her to the music room, even though Kyungsoo never asked him to. He takes a seat on the chair by the door, while she takes her place on the piano, music sheets ready. Someone else was assigned to play the piano for her while she sings on Saturday, but she isn’t around to do that today. Seohyun mentioned something about an essay that she needed to rewrite.

The last time Kyungsoo played the piano, Baekhyun was there. No one else has seen her touch the piano and, for some reason, this makes her feel self-conscious. The first couple of notes leave her fingertips and Baekhyun makes a small sound of surprise at the choice of song.

“It’s either this or _Crazy For You_ ,” Kyungsoo told him. “And I’m really more of a Whitney Houston kind of girl. Even if the subject of the song is less than ideal.” Baekhyun chuckles but doesn’t say anything else.

Her breath hitches just as she starts to sing. It makes her hurry through the first couple of words as she misses a cue but tries to sustain it as she catches up. Her fingers fumble over the key, out of practice with singing while playing the piano at the same time. It’s hard, pushing herself back into this without any sort of buffer. The first three days of rehearsal were a pain, Seohyun having to restart the song several times before she got used to it. It’s even harder having a different person in the room. What would she be like in front of hundreds of her schoolmates?

Kyungsoo is startled when a hand is placed on her shoulder. She falters with her playing and stops completely when Baekhyun urges her to. He then replaces her on the piano bench and studies the music piece for a second before he starts playing the introduction.

“I’ll play,” Baekhyun tells her, smiling at her stunned reaction. “You focus on singing.” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath as she watches his fingers, perfect for piano playing, against the white keys. “Just think about the song, and nothing else.”

“I can’t do this,” Kyungsoo suddenly says, crouching down on the floor, her arms hugging her knees. It’s too much. This is too much. No one should expect this much from her when she doesn’t expect this of herself at all. “Why did you sign me up for this?”

Baekhyun crouches down in front of her. “Do you want the candid answer?”

“Was there a time you weren’t candid?” Kyungsoo asks, lifting her face and resting her chin on top of her arms to look at him. All this time, she’s always had the impression that Baekhyun never knows how to hide what he thinks.

“You know me well,” Baekhyun chuckles, and Kyungsoo frowns because _this is not the time_. “Hey, you know why I signed you up for this? Why, despite the fact that you can hate me forever, I did it anyway?”

“I’m not going to hate you forever,” Kyungsoo mutters. “In fact, I don’t hate you at all. Not yet, anyway.” She’s not sure she can hate Baekhyun.

“Because you need more people to see how you are when you sing, when you do something related to music so they can tell you how happy and how beautiful you look when you do,” Baekhyun says.

Baekhyun’s eyes are intent on her; his dark lashes fluttering to his cheeks, slightly pink. “Why do you say things like that?” she asks him dubiously.

“Things like what?” Baekhyun blinks, caught off-guard.

“Things like _that_ ,” Kyungsoo repeats. “Like you’re always…” She lets out a breath and closes her eyes. It doesn’t matter. “I’m really not ready for this. I can’t even sing properly with just one person in the room. How am I going to do it with a larger audience?”

“Like this.” Baekhyun pulls her to stand. He keeps his eyes on Kyungsoo, even as he moves to sit on the piano bench. “You pick one person in the audience, one whom you can keep looking at for more than two minutes straight,” he says. “It can be someone you know or someone you just think is soothing to look at, maybe someone who looks friendly. It doesn’t matter who it is. But you look at this person and you sing to them.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Kyungsoo remarks uncertainly.

“No, it works,” Baekhyun assures her. “It’s easier to sing something when you’re singing to someone. It’s like being in a conversation with another person. You’re talking to that person through song.” He starts playing the first few notes of the song, eyes still on Kyungsoo. “Practice on me.”

Kyungsoo makes eye contact with Baekhyun, his gaze serious on hers, and sings. It’s uncomfortable at first, looking at Baekhyun directly in the eye for such a long period of time. But, after a couple of stumbles when the implications of the lyrics settle in and how she is technically telling them to Baekhyun, she gets the hang of it; even if she imagines Baekhyun as someone else just to get through it without blushing. After a couple of runs, she manages to sing without her voice wavering from start to finish.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Baekhyun comments. He’s smiling at her like a proud dad and Kyungsoo has to smile back.

“Now it’s not so bad,” Kyungsoo says, picking up her music sheets and putting it into her bag. “I don’t know what it’s going to be like on Saturday.”

She can still see the crowd, can still remember the faces, and remembers how the stage was like beneath her feet felt. It was a shaky stage, the wooden panels having only been installed the day before, and it really didn’t help with her nerves.

Kyungsoo wonders what the stage is going to be like on Saturday.

“You’re going to be fine,” Baekhyun assures her as they walk out of the music room. “Now how about we do something to cheer you up?”

“I’m not sad,” Kyungsoo quips, raising an eyebrow.

“Well you’re definitely not bouncing off the walls,” Baekhyun shoots back, making a face at her.

“What do you suggest?” Kyungsoo gives in, letting out a sigh. It’s no use arguing with Baekhyun most of the time, even if she had kind of promised herself she wouldn’t go out with him, even if they were just friendly outings, after Chanyeol got mad at her. But Chanyeol isn’t here and she does need a pick-me-up.

“How about some ice cream?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

“You’re a cheap friend,” Kyungsoo tells him, but pulls him towards the school gates anyway. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“Because you like me,” Baekhyun teases.

Kyungsoo laughs. “You don’t know that yet.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo isn’t ready. She’s standing backstage in her light yellow dress, hair falling on her shoulders in pretty waves, hands gripping the microphone tightly as her jelly shoes squeak with each nervous dance that she makes. No amount of practice can prepare her for what she’s about to do, something she thought she was done with. She’s not a singer.

“How are you doing?” Chanyeol asks.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo squeaks in surprise. “Are you talking to me now?”

Chanyeol sighs, staring at his shoes before looking up to try to meet her gaze. “I came to wish you luck,” he says, shifting his stance uncomfortably. “I know you’re upset with me…”

“Chanyeol, you’re the one who stormed away,” she reminds him, gripping the microphone tighter. “You’re the one who wouldn’t answer my calls or wouldn’t even bother talking to me in class. I’m not the one who’s upset.” She leaves the microphone to her left hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, breathing deeply. “Anyway, I can’t do this right now,” she tells him. “I’m dying here.”

A laugh bursts out of Chanyeol’s mouth before he can stop himself. He covers his mouth and, while Kyungsoo really wants to stay annoyed at him, he’s her best friend and he went backstage to wish her luck even if things between them are shaky. So she walks into his arms and snuggles to his chest.

“You’re not dying,” Chanyeol declares gently. “You’re not going to die. It’s just one song and you’ll do well.” He tightens his hold on her and Kyungsoo knows that this is his way of apologizing for acting like an idiot.

“What if I don’t?” Kyungsoo asks nervously. She was told too before that she would do well, that she would shine and that people would love her song and her voice.

“You will,” Chanyeol reassures her.

Kyungsoo has also heard that before. They’re empty promises. No one knows what it was like for her to stand up there and offer herself for public scrutiny. No one even knew how to handle it back then. She knew she didn’t.

“Well I’ll have to go on either way,” Kyungsoo says, looking down at her dress and patting down at her skirt. She turns to Chanyeol and smiles at him as confidently as she could. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course,” Chanyeol tells her, pulling her back for a second to give her another hug and a kiss on the forehead. “You know I would never miss anything of yours.”

Kyungsoo pushes at him because Chanyeol can be unnecessarily cheesy and walks to the foot of the stairs leading to the stage. However, Chanyeol being cheesy doesn’t change the fact that he has in fact always been present in anything that she’s done in her life, no matter how silly it was.

Taking a deep breath, she makes her way up the stage, focusing on the sound of the applause and making it calm her down. The sound washes over her as she finds her footing, the stage feeling much more stable than the last time, helping her relax a bit more.

Kyungsoo nods at Seohyun, who’s on the piano, and she begins playing. The melody starts and Kyungsoo closes her eyes to feel the song, the emotions of its message. When she opens them again, she sees three girls laughing as they watch her and her breath hitches, a lump forming in her throat.

Suddenly, it’s happening all over again. The stage is unstable, like it’s not going to hold her, like she’s going to fall and she’s always been afraid of falling, afraid of failing. All of a sudden, people are jeering again, laughing as she stumbles over line after line, her voice croaking all over the song. And what had started out so well ended up in shambles because her fear got the best of her.

There’s a cough to her left and Kyungsoo finds Seohyun looking at her in concern. She hasn’t even started singing, missing the beginning cues of the song. Looking away from her, Kyungsoo glances at the stairs on the side of the stage and wonders if it would be so bad if she could just make a run for it. This isn’t what she wanted anyway; this isn’t what she wants. She’s just here because Baekhyun asked her to. It was a favor for him and not for her.

The crowd is expectant, murmuring with curiosity and scoffing with disappointment at the lack of activity from her, when she looks back. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Kyungsoo did walk away from this. This was a second try and she failed. Again. But at least she tried. No one could begrudge her that.

But just as she flinches towards the stairs, Kyungsoo sees movement at the corner of her eye. Baekhyun is standing there with his bright eyes and wide grin, waving his fingers at her like she isn’t messing up on stage.

That’s when she remembers.

Kyungsoo looks at Seohyun and nods at her, lifting the microphone to her lips. She finds Baekhyun’s eyes as she opens her mouth and sings.

Her voice wavers at the beginning, just like all those earlier practices, but as she keeps on looking at Baekhyun, whose gaze at her is equally intense and serious, her tone becomes steadier and her singing becomes more confident. Once, Kyungsoo even lifts her gaze from Baekhyun and glances at the crowd. But it’s quick because she scrambles to find the safety of Baekhyun’s warm dark eyes.

Baekhyun had told Kyungsoo to find a person in the crowd to sing to. She thinks she wouldn’t pick anyone else to do that except for Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who tells her in so many different ways, some more subtle than others, that she’s beautiful and that she can have anything she wants in life. Baekhyun, whose smile and laughter has become a constant in her life. Baekhyun, who shines the way he’s meant to and shares that shine with others. Kyungsoo wouldn’t want to sing to anyone else except to him. Because there is no one else who is like Baekhyun in her life.

The song may not be appropriate for someone their age, for the kind of _friendship_ that they have, but Kyungsoo thinks it’s all the same in the end. Telling someone that you have feelings for him or her is hard, but telling them through a song makes it easier.

And what was going to be the longest four minutes of Kyungsoo’s life, turns out to be the four minutes she’s going to have a hard time forgetting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo squeezes her eyes shut as she buries her face in Joonmyun’s neck. Joonmyun is hugging her so tightly that her ribs might possibly break, but she doesn’t mind because she’s happy. Kyungsoo did it. She sang in front of a crowd and sang quite well if the loud applause afterwards was anything to go by.

“I’m so proud of you,” Joonmyun gushes as she pulls away. “You did so well.”

Kyungsoo beams as Kris and Jongdae take their turns congratulating her with hugs. She’s happy and contented that they were all there, the people who have been there since the very beginning and the people she’d met because of the first time she attempted to sing in public. It’s all come to a full circle now.

Chanyeol nods in serious agreement, taking his turn to hug Kyungsoo when their other friends leave. “You were amazing and beautiful,” he tells her, kissing the crown of her head. “So beautiful.”

“Thank you for being here,” Kyungsoo earnestly says, pulling away and looking up at him. She never wanted to hurt Chanyeol and would never want to hurt him intentionally. She’s glad that he’s still around even if she never really gave him an answer, even if all she managed to do after his confession is gape at him.

The crowd is now quiet, having dispersed after the performer after her, which was the last performer, finished his acoustic performance. Chanyeol lets her go when he sees that she’s looking for someone. Kyungsoo wants to find Baekhyun and tell him how much his presence had helped her through that whole thing. If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have done as well as she did.

“I’ll see you tonight?” Chanyeol asks as he turns to leave. There’s a small, almost imperceptible frown lurking in the corners of his lips that Kyungsoo wonders about. But she doesn’t say anything and just nods.

“7 o’clock,” she confirms. It has been a while since their regular movie marathons so Kyungsoo had suggested they have one that evening. She needs it, too, after all the stressful preparations she did for the talent show.

When Chanyeol is gone, Kyungsoo searches for Baekhyun and finds him on the edge of the football field, sitting on one of the many empty benches. She takes a seat, the wind blowing on her hair, which she brushes away from shielding her eyes. Baekhyun doesn’t say anything and just keeps sitting, staring off into the horizon.

Kyungsoo takes a contented breath and smiles to herself. It’s been a while since she’s felt like this, where she can say that she’s not worried about anything for once. Sure, she has her academics to think about, her review classes for pre-law, among other things, but Kyungsoo is happy. At this moment, she can truly say that she’s happy. Baekhyun has a very big part in that.

“I thought you weren’t going to come,” Kyungsoo breaks the silence with quiet laughter. She keeps her hands underneath her thighs, pushing her skirt along with it.

Baekhyun doesn’t speak for a while. Then he turns his head to look at her. “Why did you think I would miss something that’s so important to you?” he asks seriously.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says, laughing to ease Baekhyun’s seriousness. “I didn’t see you before the show. Also, we didn’t talk about you coming to watch. No one would even watch if it wasn’t really a requirement.” She’s trying to downgrade the importance of Baekhyun being there because it almost seems like he didn’t really plan on going. “Thank you for being there. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t show up,” she admits, taking a deep breath and staring at her lap.

“You were really good,” Baekhyun comments.

“When I got the hang of it anyway,” Kyungsoo responds.

“When you got the hang of it,” he agrees, smiling a little. “But would you have known you could do it if you didn’t try?”

“You mean if you didn’t push me?” she teases, but shakes her head. She chuckles softly and stares at the trees on the other side of the field. It’s such a nice day to hang out like this. She can still hear the screams of the students on the other end of the field, where the bazaars and games were. But here, it’s quiet. She’s kind of glad because she wants to spend time with Baekhyun like this, like they’ve always done. “Probably not,” she pleads guilty. “I would never have done this otherwise.”

“Now you know that you can do it,” Baekhyun says. “Did you love it?”

Kyungsoo thinks about how she was so afraid that she wanted to run off the stage and throw up everything that was in her stomach. She thinks about the people watching her, her schoolmates, and the looks on their faces when she walked on stage. No one would have thought of her as a singer so it was probably a surprise for them when they realized that she joined the talent show. It was one of the most terrifying things that Kyungsoo thinks she’s ever had to do, putting herself in a position where she could have embarrassed herself and failed.

But then Kyungsoo remembers that rush, the flutter in her chest that she felt when she got into the groove of the song, remembers how her hand had tightened around the microphone as the audience started to sing along. It’s something she knows she won’t ever forget. Leading a crowd to sing with you was one of the most priceless things she’s ever experienced.

“Yes,” is her simple answer. But Baekhyun looks at her with a smile on his face, as if he’d just heard her internal monologue.

“One day you’re going to have to be the one to push yourself,” Baekhyun prompts him, smiling as he looks back to the empty expanse of field in front of them.

“What, you’re not going to be around to remind me, is that it?” Kyungsoo says teasingly. But she is curious. Baekhyun has mastered the art of traveling around the country and Kyungsoo knows this in the back of her head. It’s something that’s always nagged at her, but never really fully acknowledged.

Baekhyun’s laughter is soft and a bit dry. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, freeing her hands from underneath her thighs and placing them on her lap.

“You have to keep pursuing what you love, Soo,” Baekhyun tells her earnestly, making Kyungsoo’s heart tremble in her chest.

“Everyone needs a cheerleader,” Kyungsoo responds with a half shrug. “But I know what you mean. I get it.”

“Do you?” Baekhyun looks at her. “Fear gets the best of us sometimes. Being afraid can make you lose sight of your dreams and let them go.”

Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun, at the way he looks at her, and wonders. She wonders about having dreams, about having a lot of them, and going for every single one. Taking up pre-law and getting into law school flits through her mind, along with singing and music. And then there’s Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who has come into her life without a word of warning, bringing light into his life and making her so happy, she doesn’t really remember what it was like when he wasn’t around.

Baekhyun keeps telling Kyungsoo that she should follow her heart and what she really wants, and she’s done that. She had gotten up on stage and had sung through, albeit wobbly, through her fear. It has been incredibly rewarding so far and she doesn’t think that feeling is going to go away for a long time. Until maybe she does it again.

Baekhyun has been such a steady presence beside her. Ever since he’d arrived, something had changed in her. She’d become more adventurous and more spontaneous. It almost felt like she hasn’t really been living until she met Baekhyun. Kyungsoo has experienced more things and has seen more of New York in the time she’s met him. It hasn’t even been a year since then. There are dreams that are cultivated when you’re young, and then there are those that manifest out of nowhere. Kyungsoo thinks that it’s just fair to go for all sorts of dreams. It’s what Baekhyun keeps telling her anyway. She can go for _everything_ that she wants.

Kyungsoo shifts in her seat, straightening her back and taking a deep breath. “It really meant a lot to me what you did, coming to the talent show to help me. It _means_ a lot to me,” she rephrases, “that you’re around all the time, that you’re always there for me. I really wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s surprising, but really cool how we’ve gotten close in such a short time, but it’s almost like…” Baekhyun doesn’t move beside her, hands still on his lap. “It’s almost like we’ve known each other for a far longer time,” she says, laughing. “That’s cliché, isn’t it?”

“Just because it sounds like one, doesn’t mean it always is,” Baekhyun replies quietly.

It’s now or never. There will never be another time than this because her resolve is already wavering and if she doesn’t say anything now, she will never again. Because Baekhyun is like the sun that has suddenly decided to come into Kyungsoo’s life, lighting everything up, so hot and fiery, that Kyungsoo always feels like she’s burning with passion—with happiness, with a love for life. She worries her lower lip as she squeezes her eyes shut for a second. Then she’s reaching out to hold his hand.

“Baekhyun, I really l—“

Baekhyun moves his hand away and Kyungsoo’s own flinches back like she’s been stung. She swallows the surprise and hurt.

“Kyungsoo,” he speaks, his voice rough and monotonous. “I’m leaving before graduation and I can’t—“

“Of course,” Kyungsoo interrupts, panicked. She clasps her hands tightly together, her knuckles going white. “Of course,” she repeats, forcing out a chuckle.

It’s okay. This is okay. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had never really talked about anything. Kyungsoo had _assumed_ that maybe... Because Baekhyun was always taking her out, buying her ice cream when she was sad, taking her roller skating to teach her, bringing her to clubs and rock concerts to show her how it was to have fun. Because Baekhyun held her hand and brushed her hair away from her face and comforted her in a way that was too close for just friends. Because Baekhyun talked to her about dreams and encouraged her to go for hers like it mattered to him, like Kyungsoo mattered to him. But she’s wrong. She’s wrong but it’s okay. _It’s okay._

“I should go,” Kyungsoo abruptly announces, standing up.

“Kyungsoo, wait.” Baekhyun looks startled. He stands up as well and makes to reach out to her, but Kyungsoo steps back away from his reach. “I didn’t—“

_No more_ , Kyungsoo thinks. No more assuming.

“I’m just going to go and…” She scrambles for a lie to give in her head. “My mother asked me to call her after the show,” she stammers. “I just remembered that I’d forgotten to do that. I think she wants to remind me of my review classes for this evening, as well.” It’s okay to go after dreams, or maybe they’re _whims_ , but she shouldn’t forget about the things that have already been in place right from the start.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun starts again, but Kyungsoo shakes her head. “I’m sorry—“

“I understand, Baekhyun,” she tells him. There’s a small smile on her face that she hopes is assuring. She isn’t heartbroken. She _isn’t_. She has no reason to be. Baekhyun is her friend. They’re _just_ friends, just like what she’s been telling Chanyeol the entire time. “Don’t worry about it.” She glances at her watch and smiles at him again. “I really should go,” she insists.

“Are we—“ Baekhyun cuts himself off. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

Kyungsoo smiles. So this really is it. She and Baekhyun go out almost every weekend. Looks like they’ll only be seeing each other in school now. “See you on Monday,” she agrees with a nod. She turns to leave, but then she looks at him again. Baekhyun looks at her, almost expectantly. “Good bye, Baekhyun,” she tells him, and then she’s on her way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t see Baekhyun on Monday. She doesn’t see him for the entire week. In fact, she barely sees him at all after that day, after that _incident_. Kyungsoo shouldn’t have done it. She should have let it go, should have kept it to herself, because she already knew what would happen. She’s never been rejected before, but she knows what it’s like to fail, knows what it’s like to wish she’d never done something at all. Kyungsoo wished it didn’t have to be _this_. She wishes it didn’t have to be Baekhyun.

But she accepts it. Baekhyun doesn’t show up during lunch or during breaks or even their group get togethers. Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything when Jongdae or Kris wonder where Baekhyun is and just shrugs when Joonmyun asks her. She doesn’t know where Baekhyun is, hasn’t known for a couple of weeks, and, as much as it bugs her, it really isn’t her business anymore.

“Hey Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo looks up from her homework and smiles when she sees Seohyun taking a seat across from her, Jongdae making space for the visitor.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greets her back. “What’s up?” She closes her notebook and pays full attention to her because she hasn’t talked to Seohyun since the talent show. Seohyun hands her a piece of paper that turns out to be a flyer when Kyungsoo gets a good look at it. Chanyeol, who’s sitting beside her, peers at it curiously.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about the musical that the drama club is putting up for the end of the year,” Seohyun starts, making Joonmyun perk up in excitement. Kyungsoo keeps her eyes on Seohyun, already know where this is heading. “We’ve been auditioning for the female lead for two weeks now but Mrs. Kim still wants to have other people come in to try for it,” she continues. “I thought of you, of course, but hadn’t really had the chance to ask until Mrs. Kim herself wondered if you would.”

Kyungsoo frowns because she may have sung in public _once_ , but that doesn’t mean she’s up for doing it again. No matter how much she enjoyed it, it wasn’t—it _isn’t_ —that easy. Also, she’s busy—busier than she has been since then with her review teachers stepping it up with their lessons, on top of her regular classes, that she doesn’t think she can do it.

She hasn’t even though about singing, much less performing, since that day. It almost felt pointless in the end that she had done it, because it was just one time, and singing in public once doesn’t really matter. Kyungsoo is still going to law school anyway. Why would she even pursue singing? It won’t matter in the bigger scheme of things. It doesn’t matter. At the very least she’d experienced it, that’s what Kyungsoo tells herself.

“I don’t know, Seohyun,” Kyungsoo starts, taking her planner out and opening it to look at her schedule for the week. “I have a lot going on right now and I really don’t know when I’ll be able to audition for a musical so that should be an indication that I won’t have time to rehearse for it as well.” She closes her planner and gives her an apologetic look. “I appreciate you asking, though,” she says. “I mean, I don’t know why you or Mrs. Kim would even think of me, but I am flattered.”

Seohyun just gives her a long look before smiling and shrugging. “I wanted to ask anyway,” she says, standing up. She pushes the flyer back to Kyungsoo when she hands it to her. “Keep it,” she says before smiling again and leaving.

The table is quiet at Seohyun’s departure. Kyungsoo folds the flyer in half and sticks it in between the pages of her planner, which she returns into her bag. No one says or does anything for a while, almost like they’re waiting for Kyungsoo to speak and explain what just happened. But Kyungsoo doesn’t need to explain herself. There is nothing to explain. They all know what she’s up against. They all know the things she should be doing. It’s all she’s talked about the entire year, which is critical, because next year she’s going to be taking entrance exams that she needs to ace because they will determine her future. Kyungsoo needs to be prepared for that.

After a while, Chanyeol goes back to doing his own homework, while Kris and Jongdae get into some conversation about basketball. Joonmyun is the only one who remains looking at Kyungsoo, like she’s bursting to say something. Kyungsoo ignores it for a long time because acknowledging it would be like opening a dam of questions that Kyungsoo doesn’t want to answer because she’s answered them before.

But then Joonmyun doesn’t relent even when Kyungsoo’s already finished her math homework and was moving on to the next thing on her list. She closes her English book and sighs, finally meeting Joonmyun’s eyes.

“What is it, Joonmyun?” Kyungsoo asks regrettably.

“Why don’t you want to audition?” Joonmyun pounces on her, leaning forward on the table, her hands clasped together in anticipation. Chanyeol doesn’t move, but Kyungsoo know he’s listening by the way he’s stopped playing with his pen. “It was clear with what Seohyun said about Mrs. Kim wanting you to audition that you had a big chance of getting the part. Why would you say no?”

“Because,” Kyungsoo sighs as she answers, “I really don’t have time for it. I wasn’t lying, you know. My review teachers are ruthless at giving homework. That, and I also have to pass junior year.”

“You’re at the top of your classes,” Jongdae reminds her. She looks at him and wonders when he became a part of the conversation. “I don’t think you’d have any problems passing. Plus your review classes only happen twice a week. I’m sure if you—“

“I am not auditioning,” Kyungsoo cuts him off sharply. “It’s not a part of my plans.”

“Soo, you already sang at the talent show,” Joonmyun persists. “You know that you can do it. You know that you love it. Your classes or even your review ones aren’t an excuse, and you know it. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo insists. She doesn’t know when this conversation suddenly became a venue for her to defend herself. Can’t she just say no and everyone would let it go? Why does everything she does have to be explained now? She’s always been like this before and people never questioned it.

“If Baekhyun asked you to do it, would you do it?” Kris asks, speaking up for the first time. Joonmyun slaps his arm, while Chanyeol stills even more beside Kyungsoo, who recoils before she can stop herself.

“No,” Kyungsoo deliberately answers, ignoring the questioning looks on their faces at her reaction. She starts packing up her things and putting them inside her bag.

“Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun starts and Kyungsoo can hear the concern bleeding through her tone.

Something snaps inside of Kyungsoo. “No,” she repeats. “I wouldn’t do it even if Baekhyun asked me, which he wouldn’t do, because this is my life and I make decisions for it. And the auditions? It won’t help for my future because I am going to be a lawyer. Baekhyun doesn’t have a say in that because he won’t be around to see it anyway because he’s—“

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol cuts through her rant. He’s squeezing her hand.

Kyungsoo looks around and realizes, from the expressions on her friends’ faces, what she’s done. She’s never blown up like that before. She’s calm and collected because there was never any reason for her not to be because she’s planned everything out, all the things she’s supposed to be doing so that there aren’t any surprises, so that she knows everything that’s going to happen.

Then Baekhyun happened. Baekhyun had waltzed in and made her forget about everything that she’s learned and has been doing for all her life. He made her forget about focusing too much on the future, stopped her from being too uptight and too systematic and forced her to stop being afraid. Baekhyun let her see that the present is just as exciting as the future, showed her that spontaneity is fun, too, and that there was no reason to be afraid. Baekhyun even made Kyungsoo believe that it was okay to fall in love and to be brave enough to admit it. Look where that took her? Kyungsoo should have stuck to what she knew, to what she’s always known. There’s a reason why planning and organization worked, because it’s always effective.

Baekhyun hurt Kyungsoo. He made her believe that anything was possible. He made her do things she wouldn’t normally do and he made her hope for the best. Then he took it away from her. He arrives and brandishes hope in front of her face but takes it away when Kyungsoo is ready to take it. Kyungsoo can’t accept that. She hates herself more than anything because she fell for it. Now her heart is broken when it was doing just fine in the beginning. It was perfect back then, but that is better than the way it hurts right now.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo mutters, standing up before anyone can say anything. “I didn’t mean to—I’ll go. Sorry.”

Kyungsoo runs. She runs away from the quad and finds an empty classroom. She told herself that she wouldn’t cry, told herself that it’s not worth it to. Baekhyun is just a boy and boys aren’t important. He isn’t important to Kyungsoo’s life and to her future and so he’s not worth her tears.

But Kyungsoo can’t hold it in anymore. She drops her bag to the floor and stands in the middle of the empty classroom, holding her hands to her eyes, surrounded by vacant chairs. The tears stream down her cheeks and she hates it. She hates herself. Kyungsoo isn’t supposed to cry. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol says as he wraps his arms around Kyungsoo. She didn’t even hear him come in but she isn’t really surprised that Chanyeol went after her. He wouldn’t let her run off like that and wouldn’t leave her to herself. “Shh,” he whispers she sobs harder. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

Kyungsoo turns around in Chanyeol’s arms and buries her face in his chest. Chanyeol is so warm and so steady, consistently a source of comfort. Fresh tears appear in her eyes as she wonders why couldn’t it have been Chanyeol instead. Why did she have to take the risk with someone who didn’t return her affections? It’s an unfair thought, especially since Chanyeol has feelings for her that she can’t return, but Kyungsoo really wished she had fallen for Chanyeol instead so she wouldn’t hurt like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is leaving class, her attention focused on her planner. She’s supposed to have a review class after school at home tomorrow, but then she’d set a meeting with the guidance counselor to discuss her university prospects. She should probably just call the tutor to reschedule.

“You’re going to hurt yourself by not looking where you’re going.”

Kyungsoo jumps and almost hits someone who’s going the other way if Kris hadn’t grabbed her and prevented her from doing so.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo mumbles. She puts her planner inside her bag and frowns at him. “What are you doing here?”

Kris just shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. Or he tries to anyway, because Kris’s hands are just too large and his jeans too tight. He settles for hooking his thumbs on his belt loops instead. “Where are you off to? Do you have a review class today?”

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I’m going home. Why?” She looks at Kris suspiciously because Kris has never waited for her outside her class before. “Where’s Joonmyun?”

“She has this student council meeting,” Kris says, waving dismissively. It’s really interesting to Kyungsoo how Kris is so accepting of Joonmyun’s busy schedule. She knows that there are times when their plans get cancelled because Joonmyun’s meetings keep popping up out of nowhere. “Anyway, just thought you’d want some company walking home.”

Kyungsoo supposes that it makes sense for her and Kris to walk home together, especially since Chanyeol has band practice, while she’s not sure where Jongdae is. He’s probably with Liyin. “Sure,” she slowly agrees. “Aren’t you going to wait for Joonmyun, though? Don’t you have basketball practice or something?”

Kris just shrugs. “Practice was cancelled,” is all he says.

They walk in silence for the better part of their trip home. Kyungsoo is lost in her own head because she’d gotten a glimpse of Baekhyun earlier in the day, the first time that she’s really seen him in a while. In her classes, Kyungsoo now makes it a point of sitting in front because she wants to understand the lesson better. It’s definitely not because she doesn’t want to look or acknowledge Baekhyun. (Whenever she does look at him, at the end of classes, Baekhyun is almost always gone anyway.) Baekhyun was wearing a red backwards cap that clashed with the blazer he was wearing, but Kyungsoo thought Baekhyun looked good anyway. He was humming some song under his breath as he passed by, backpack slung over one shoulder, smiling whenever someone said hi to him. It was almost like Baekhyun was okay. He looked better than Kyungsoo did anyway.

“Listen,” Kris’s deep voice startles Kyungsoo out of her thoughts. He looks apologetic for a second before continuing. “How are you doing?”

“What?” Kyungsoo blinks up at him.

“I’m just asking how you are,” Kris repeats awkwardly. He shifts his bag on his shoulder. “You know, after…” He coughs, looking like he’s in pain by asking Kyungsoo if she’s okay. It’s kind of endearing.

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo answers. And it’s true. She is fine. “Why?”

After Kyungsoo had cried on Chanyeol rather embarrassingly, Kyungsoo never spoke of it again. Even when Chanyeol had tried to, even when Joonmyun and Jongdae did as well. Kyungsoo rebuffed all of their attempts. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone about her feelings. They are misplaced feelings, anyway. It’s not worth talking about them. So even when it hurts, even when she’s still hurting, she keeps them to herself. No one should know how stupid she is for putting herself out there and getting rejected in return.

“I know,” Kris starts, clearing his throat. “I know that you’d rather talk to Joonmyun or even Jongdae rather than me, but… but if you need it, I’m here.”

Kyungsoo stares at Kris. She actually stops walking to stare at him. It’s true what Kris said. Kyungsoo would rather talk to Jongdae than Kris because she and Jongdae are actual friends that exchange stories with each other. Kris is almost like an acquaintance, which he could be if he isn’t Joonmyun’s boyfriend. Kris doesn’t really talk much and Kyungsoo never really knows what to say to him.

“Oh, um, thanks,” Kyungsoo replies, equally as awkward. But she appreciates the thought. It’s nice to know that even if they aren’t that close, Kris is someone she can depends on.

They continue walking in silence. Kyungsoo’s mind goes back to Baekhyun. She really misses him as much as she hates that she does. It’s weird not having Baekhyun picking her up so that he could take her to some random place in the city or not have him beside her, telling her go and pursue singing or something else. If Baekhyun were around, he would probably be telling her to go and audition for the musical. He would tell her that she should keep on doing something about her dreams, especially the ones that make her feel afraid because they would be the most worth it in the end.

For a second, Kyungsoo considers it. What if she does audition for the musical? She isn’t even sure if they’re still accepting auditions, but what if she just shows up and sings for Mrs. Kim? But then Kyungsoo’s hands get clammy as she remembers what it felt like when she fumbled in front of the audience. This time Baekhyun won’t be around to help her through it. It sounds like an excuse and she hates how dependent it makes her to Baekhyun and so she shuts the idea down.

“You know,” Kris speaks up again, making Kyungsoo jump. “Break ups may hurt, but they’re not the end of the world.” Kyungsoo’s mouth opens in surprise but she closes it and tries to sort out the pain, confusion and irritation because of his words. “I don’t know what happened. Just because someone left, doesn’t mean that it’s the end.”

“We didn’t break up,” Kyungsoo says, trying hard not to roll her eyes. “And even if we did, what makes you think _he_ broke up with _me_?”

“I… don’t,” Kris says. “Not really. But you were crying…”

“I could cry too even if I broke up with him,” Kyungsoo says. “I would imagine that it’s just hard for the dumper.”

“Oh,” Kris mutters, nodding in agreement. “Right.”

“Even so,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly finding the whole thing amusing. Kris is cute and funny like this. She’ll have to make sure to tell Joonmyun. When the whole thing with Baekhyun blows over, of course. Because knowing Joonmyun, she would totally miss the point and just ask her questions about Baekhyun. “Baekhyun and I didn’t break up. We weren’t even a couple. We were just friends—are— _were_ —“ She frowns when she realizes she doesn’t even know if they are still friends. “We weren’t a couple,” she repeats instead.

“You sure acted like it,” Kris says, shrugging. “I mean, with the way you guys acted when you were together, the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you, anyone would think that you two were—“

“Stop,” Kyungsoo interjects, irritated. “That’s not true. Whatever you think you saw, it’s not what you or what everyone thought it was. You guys were seeing things. They’re not real.”

“Kyungsoo,” Kris says. “I didn’t mean—“

“I know you didn’t,” Kyungsoo interrupts him again. “And I appreciate your concern, but please just leave me alone. Nothing happened between Baekhyun and me. I wasn’t lying—I never lied when I said that we were just friends because that’s really all we are and it’s all we’re going to be so everyone should just drop it.”

She’s breathing rather heavily at the end of her outburst and she takes a step back in surprise at the consciousness. Kris is looking at her with surprise. She should really learn to keep her feelings in check. They’ve been all over the place ever since Baekhyun… ever since. Taking another step back, she gives him an apologetic look.

“Sorry,” she mutters. “But I think, I can walk the rest of the way home.”

Kris doesn’t say anything and Kyungsoo is glad that he doesn’t because she’s so close to tears that she half runs the rest of the way back to her house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe you snapped at Kris,” Chanyeol whispers when Kyungsoo’s and Chanyeol’s parents are preoccupied with their discussion about a benefit that they’d recently attended.

“He was prying,” Kyungsoo honestly states, cutting up the chicken on her plate. “Anyway, I apologized.”

“He was moping about it,” Chanyeol tells her. “ _Moping_ , Kyungsoo. You made Kris mope. You don’t know what it was like. It was almost funny.”

“I bet you laughed anyway,” Kyungsoo says and she rolls her eyes when Chanyeol giggles.

“You should have seen Jongdae,” he continues. “He was practically rolling on the floor. Not even Joonmyun getting upset stopped him.”

“Well,” she says. “I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at him. I was just really… Anyway, that’s over now.”

“You do know he was just trying to help, right?” Chanyeol wants to confirm. “I mean, I know you guys don’t really talk as much, but he does get worried about you.”

Kyungsoo sighs and nods. “I know,” she responds before taking a bite of her food. “He told me, and I was really touched, except I don’t know where he got the idea that Baekhyun and I were dating.” She looks at Chanyeol, whose mouth is full. “You do know that I was telling the truth, right, when I said that Baekhyun and I were just friends?”

“Well,” Chanyeol carefully replies after he’s swallowed everything in his mouth. He puts his utensils down and drinks water. “No offense, Soo. But…” He hesitates. “You two were attached to the hip all the time and when Baekhyun suddenly ignored all of us, when you two suddenly stopped talking, you were, and still are, by the way, really miserable. You were crying like, like you two had just broken up.”

Kyungsoo puts her own fork and knife down and leans back on her seat. “We didn’t, though,” she insists. “Break up, I mean. Because we weren’t a couple. You can’t break up if you’re not a couple. Besides, I would never do that to you.”

Chanyeol’s hand freezes half way as he’s about to put a piece of chicken in his mouth. He puts it down to look at her questioningly. “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“I wouldn’t lie to you about that,” Kyungsoo tells him earnestly. “I would tell you that we were dating if we actually were. I also wouldn’t hurt you like that.”

Chanyeol keeps looking at her for quiet some time until he frowns even further. “Kyungsoo, did you… were you worried about my feelings?” he asks, sounding almost outraged. Kyungsoo fidgets in her seat, playing with her hands on her lap. “Is that why…? Kyungsoo, please tell me you didn’t hold yourself back on my account.”

“I didn’t—it’s not like that,” Kyungsoo stammers as she tries to explain, glancing furtively at their parents. Luckily, they’re still engrossed in their discussion.

“It better be not like that,” Chanyeol states so seriously that Kyungsoo pouts. “Kyungsoo?”

“It wasn’t because—I just didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to think that I was stepping on your feelings by—“ She cuts herself off and shakes her head. She picks her utensils up in an attempt to continue eating but all she does is move the food around on her plate. “The point is, Baekhyun and I never became a couple,” she reiterates. “And it’s not because of you, trust me on that.”

Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, but Kyungsoo’s mother chooses that moment to pause and look at them. “What are you two whispering about?” she asks them curiously.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo starts.

“We were just talking about Kyungsoo’s audition tomorrow,” Chanyeol smoothly swoops in. Kyungsoo stiffens in her seat.

“What audition?” Kyungsoo’s father asks.

“Its noth—“ Kyungsoo tries to change the subject in panic. She doesn’t think her parents would be pleased to find out that their daughter, who is in line to be come a lawyer, is dabbling in musicals and music, which is so far from the study of the law.

“For the school musical,” Chanyeol maintains, grinning even when Kyungsoo buries her fingernails into his wrist.

“A musical?” Kyungsoo’s mom repeats, very much surprised. She looks at Kyungsoo, whom Chanyeol nudges. Kyungsoo smiles sweetly and nods, deciding that she’s going to punch Chanyeol after dinner. “I didn’t know that you were interested in musicals, darling.”

“You must sing really well then,” Chanyeol’s mother then comments. “I know musical theatre actresses have to be powerful singers.”

“That’s right,” Chanyeol agrees. “And she is. She’s auditioning tomorrow and she has a really big chance of getting the part.” He puts an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “Aren’t you excited, Soo?”

“Very,” Kyungsoo agrees through gritted teeth. She knows that Chanyeol is upset with her but that is no reason for him to throw her under the bus and _force_ to do something she’s been very clear about not wanting to do.

Chanyeol’s and Kyungsoo’s parents exchange surprised but pleased glances that leave Kyungsoo confused. Her mother and father, in particular, look excited about the news.

“I look forward to hearing good news then,” Kyungsoo’s father declares. “I would love to see my daughter singing on stage.”

Kyungsoo is so surprised that she inhales rice when she should swallow first. Chanyeol thumps her back as her mother hands her a glass of water. When her breathing goes back to normal, the surprise still doesn’t go away.

“See?” Chanyeol whispers in her ear when their parents go back to talking amongst themselves. Kyungsoo doesn’t hesitate to pinch his thigh using her nails, making him yell in pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo gets the part. Even when she’d fumbled during the audition, her voice wavering and forgetting the lyrics, Mrs. Kim still claps her hands and tells her almost immediately that she’s going to be the lead. It truly baffles Kyungsoo because she knows that both Im Yoona and Lee Soonkyu auditioned, and everyone knows that they’re the actresses of the school. Kyungsoo hasn’t even been really involved in the drama scene, having only watched one play the whole time she’s been in high school. Surprise aside, she’s also happy in a way that she got the role, because when her parents asked, which she knew they would because they wished her luck before she left for school on the day of the auditioned, she had some good news for them.

She ties her hair, which had grown longer in the past few months, into a ponytail to keep it away from her face before dance rehearsal starts again. Kyungsoo walks to the mirror and wipes her sweat off her forehead. When she found out that there was going to be dancing, _on top of_ singing, she almost wanted to back out. She couldn’t even sing steadily not moving, how would she manage it while dancing? But Victoria, a senior, who is their director and choreographer, assured her that the dancing would be simple enough and wouldn’t be a problem with the singing. _Simple enough_ obviously meant different for both of them because Kyungsoo always comes home after rehearsal deadbeat tired.

It’s only been a couple of weeks of rehearsals, but slowly Kyungsoo had grown to really enjoy it. She still gets terrified every time she’s comes to rehearsal because she knows she’s going to be asked to sing _and_ dance, which of course is to be expected because it _is_ a musical. But the fear gets reduced every time she comes to practice. Maybe it’s because she keeps on doing it repeatedly or maybe because Ryeowook, her co-star, is always encouraging, or maybe because of Mrs. Kim’s faith in her. One thing that she realizes is that, each time that they rehearse or every time that she does something connected to the musical, like run lines or memorize anything about it, she finds that she loves it more and more.

Her favorite song to sing is the reprise of _Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee_ because it’s emotional, but not overly so. Also, maybe because it speaks to her on so many levels. _Summer Nights_ , though is the most fun song to rehearse just because everyone gets really into it. That, and because Ryeowook is so good in it. Every song is just so fun to perform and she finds that every scene that she gets to perform just makes her love the musical more and more. It really helps that the cast is really encouraging and helpful. Ryeowook is always giving her advice and even Yoona and Soonkyu, who both got roles in the play, take their time to mentor her as well. Kyungsoo feels very blessed, and happy.

“Hey, look who it is,” Jongdae announces, plopping down beside her ceremoniously. Joonmyun and Kris follow suit across from them.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo says, chuckling when Jongdae wraps his arms around her in a hug.

“We never see you around anymore,” Jongdae complains, pouting. “You’re always busy doing something. Maybe it was a bad idea for you to join the play. It’s taking all your time away from us.”

“Like you’ve been around,” Joonmyun is quick to say, rolling her eyes. “You’ve been attached to Liyin, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh that’s right,” Jongdae confirms with a cat-like grin. “I have been, haven’t I?”

Joonmyun makes a face at him and then smiles at Kyungsoo, who is laughing in amusement. “How are rehearsals going?” she asks eagerly. Despite being part of the drama club, Joonmyun had decided to forgo being a part of the actual musical rehearsals to make time for her college applications, even though she already knows which school she is going to attend.

“They’re fun,” Kyungsoo tells her and laughs when Joonmyun gushes.

“I’m so amazed that you’re actually doing it, “ Jongdae comments. “I mean, we were this close to getting Baekhyun to talk you into it—OW!” He bends down to massage his toe through his shoes. “I was just saying!” he hisses at Joonmyun, turning his attention back to his toe.

“Yes, well, Chanyeol, whom I’m still pissed at,” Kyungsoo, ignoring Jongdae’s comment, states, “managed to get me to audition. Where is he anyway?”

Chanyeol had apologized again and again after the dinner when he saw how mad Kyungsoo had gotten. He apologized several times before the audition and after it. She’s forgiven him the moment her parents looked like they didn’t mind, which she still wonders about to be honest. But she couldn’t let Chanyeol get away with it, either. She just didn’t like that he practically forced her to do something she’s been clear about saying no to in the beginning. Right now, though, Kyungsoo is kind of glad Chanyeol did it that way. Because she really wouldn’t have auditioned otherwise.

“He’s coming,” Jongdae answers, glaring at Joonmyun, who just gives him a smile in return. “Just had to discuss something with the teacher.” He nudges Kyungsoo apologetically. Kyungsoo rolls her eyes at him.

It would be a lie if Kyungsoo said that she hasn’t thought about Baekhyun at all. She thinks about him more than she should, but she supposes that can’t be helped. She sees him in classes, around campus, sometimes in the cafeteria and even in the library. Baekhyun is alone most of the time and Kyungsoo always gets the urge to approach him and talk to him. But she doesn’t. Because that would just makes things harder on herself. She doesn’t hate him, though. She’s hurt and sad because of what happened that cost their friendship, but she doesn’t hate him. Maybe if she did, then she could cash in on that kiss. Then again, that would just probably make things worse.

Chanyeol arrives shortly after, making sure to kiss Kyungsoo on the head, more to tease her than anything. Kyungsoo knows that this is Chanyeol taking advantage of the knowledge that Kyungsoo can’t really stay mad at him for a long time.

“Are you going to rehearsal?” Chanyeol asks her with a grin.

“In a while,” Kyungsoo says. “What did you do?”

“I was just consulting with the guidance counselor,” Chanyeol shares, getting their other friends’ attention as well. “I found out that Yale has a summer art program and I asked if it would help my acceptance if I took a part in it. She said it could and gave me application forms and everything.” He holds up the brown envelope containing the forms.

Kyungsoo smiles at Chanyeol’s excitement. He’s always been so excited about art and music and she had wondered what he would decide to take up for college, but it seems like he’s already made up his mind. Chanyeol has always loved drawing and painting, even before he discovered music and composing songs with a guitar, which, when he did, he focused on non-stop. There was a time Kyungsoo thought that Chanyeol had forgotten about art but then he always went back to it somehow. It’s interesting how some dreams never really go away. Just like Kyungsoo’s love for singing.

Admittedly, she fought with herself about not wanting to sing anymore for the longest time. Just because of a distressing incident that made her fear grow into something that practically overpowered her love for it, which it did for a long time, that it almost killed it. Kyungsoo never let anyone talk to her about singing. Not until Baekhyun came along anyway. His persistence and passion drove her to see that she’s loved singing all this time, that, all along, singing was still something she wants to do just like all those years ago.

“That’s great! So you’re going to be in Yale for the summer,” Kyungsoo says, smiling a little when Chanyeol realizes with a pout that he’s going to be away. Chuckling, she adds, “You’ll do so well.”

Chanyeol looks pleased. “I hear that you’re doing well in rehearsals,” he says, somewhat cautiously because he knows that it’s still a sensitive topic for her still.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I’m glad that’s what you’re hearing,” she says, smiling a little. “Because it would be sad if I was doing badly at something I loved.”

Chanyeol grins at her, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m so proud of you,” he says. “I can’t wait to watch.”

Kyungsoo smiles. She does love being in the musical. It took her a while to really admit it but she’s happy that she’s a part of the production. Now, Kyungsoo thinks that musical theatre is something she might want to do again in the future. It’s funny how some dreams give birth to new ones. There are moments when Kyungsoo imagines herself as a big star on Broadway. Maybe someday. Why not?

For the longest time, Kyungsoo had been someone who felt like everything in her life had been planned out for her. She figured that law was the obvious choice for her degree when she entered college, therefore all her actions had been geared towards that goal; study hard, get good grades, get into a school with a good pre-law course, get into Harvard Law, graduate with flying colors and get into a successful law firm. It was easy because Kyungsoo had her life mapped out. She has imagined herself walking through the Harvard campus since she was in third grade. She never even thought for a second that she had options, that she _could_ have options.

This year has certainly opened her up and broadened her horizons. It didn’t occur to her that she had tunnel vision for becoming a lawyer. She didn’t realize that she was so focused, too focused, on that specific plan for her life that she had begun ignoring other things. To her credit, Kyungsoo isn’t really interested in much else. But she would never have even so much as thought about singing again if she hadn’t met Baekhyun. Baekhyun had showed her that there are bigger things in this world, that becoming a lawyer shouldn’t be the main focus of her life, that everything she does doesn’t have to be geared towards it, that she’s 17 years old and that she should be living like a 17-year old should, having fun, going to parties, taking risks and falling in love.

Kyungsoo is pretty sure that Baekhyun didn’t teach her that last one. He didn’t intend to anyway, or if he did, he probably didn’t mean for Kyungsoo fall in love with him. But it happened and Kyungsoo thinks she wouldn’t have it any other way. Falling in love with Baekhyun and wanting to be more than friends with him, is kind of like having another dream. And like all dreams, sometimes they never really happen unless you do something about it. Kyungsoo has done something about it and, while Kyungsoo had originally thought that she had failed because she was rejected, that wasn’t really it at all. The important thing is Kyungsoo had done something about it. If there’s one thing she’s learned in all of what’s happened, it’s that she should always do something about what she wants and go for it. Try your best, do you best, until you succeed.

Being friends with Baekhyun and hanging out with him has taught Kyungsoo that she should never be afraid of anything, especially of her dreams, that she should go for them and try them because trying new things is always fun, and that she should do whatever it takes to grow and nurture her dreams. If not for anything else, Kyungsoo has to be grateful for that.

Kyungsoo sighs. She misses Baekhyun.

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, looking at her with concern.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo assures him with a smile. “I’m fine.”

Just because she doesn’t really have Baekhyun in her life anymore, doesn’t mean she can’t be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo’s heart is beating so fast in her chest. There’s a wide smile on her face, a really happy one, which is also a smile of disbelief and awe, awe that the audience is on their feet, awe that she finally did it, awe that this is actually happening.

The red curtains close and almost immediately she’s smothered into a big group hug. There are arms around her neck, around her waist, around her hips and even if she can barely breathe, she can’t help but laugh and just be ecstatic. It was amazing how she hadn’t made a mistake during the performance, how her voice hadn’t wavered, except for the very first song that she had to sing, how she managed to dance and sing at the same time. Victoria had beamed at her from the sidelines and Kyungsoo is glad to have made her proud.

“Congratulations, Soo!” Joonmyun screams as soon as she finds Kyungsoo backstage.

“You were so amazing!” Chanyeol tells her as he wraps his arms around her and twirls her around. “So amazing,” he repeats when he puts her down and kisses the crown of her head.

“I didn’t actually think you could pull it off so, “Jongdae says, patting her shoulder, “my congratulations are very sincere.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo snaps teasingly and Jongdae laughs and hugs her. Kris congratulates her too even if he looks like he slept the whole time.

It is a remarkable feeling. Kyungsoo feels like she’s just saved the world or something and now feels invincible, like she can do whatever she wants and no one can stop her. She feels so whole and so full and she just wants to jump up and down because she’s just so incredibly happy.

“Kyungsoo,” her mother greets her with a kiss on he cheek and a bright smile on her face. “You were wonderful, really wonderful.”

“I’d almost forgotten the fact that you sing so well,” her father adds with a grin. “It must have been years since I last heard you sing.”

“I love it, dad,” Kyungsoo tells him, looking at her mother as well, and her father kisses her nose.

“If I had known you wanted to sing, we would have put you in voice lessons,” her father states to Kyungsoo’s surprise. “As it stands, it doesn’t seem like you need one. But if this is something you want to pursue, you will always have our support.”

Kyungsoo blinks up at them, teary-eyed. She didn’t realize… she never thought… She laughs and lunges at her dad to hug him. He laughs and hugs Kyungsoo back, while her mother runs her fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair comfortingly. Kyungsoo has the best parents in the world.

There are so many people to talk to. So many people congratulate her; telling Kyungsoo that she performed wonderfully and making her feel even giddier than she already is. It’s hard to believe that the thing that she’s been working for hard for months is now done and is successful. Kyungsoo has always had her doubts, constantly unsure whether she could do this and whether she could pull it off without her fear getting the best of her. She’s glad to know that she could, and that she did.

“Congratulations.”

Kyungsoo turns around, her long skirt flying up a bit at the twirl. Baekhyun is holding a daisy out to her. It takes Kyungsoo a moment to recover that Baekhyun is standing in front of her, that he watched the play, and that he’s giving her a flower.

“Hi,” she greets him, taking the flower.

“You look happy,” Baekhyun says, smiling that smile that Kyungsoo has grown fond of, the one that makes her heart flutter because it’s soft and is different from his normally big smiles.

“I think I have a right to be, don’t you think?” Kyungsoo says, grinning, and he laughs.

“That you do,” Baekhyun agrees. “I’m very proud of you. You sounded really good all throughout and your voice matched really well with Ryeowook’s. Your dancing wasn’t bad, too.”

Kyungsoo laughs. “I’ve been hoping that all those rehearsals had been worth it,” she says.

“Looks like they were,” Baekhyun tells her.

“They were,” Kyungsoo says. Her breath keeps catching in her throat because every time she meets Baekhyun’s eyes, she can’t believe that he is actually standing in front of her, that he’s talking to her. It feels like it’s been so long since they’ve said two words to each other and now they’re having an actual conversation. “How—how have you been?”

“I’ve been good,” Baekhyun shares. “Just been going to classes. You didn’t miss much.” He’s smirking and Kyungsoo just rolls her eyes because she knows what he’s implying. Even after all this time, Baekhyun hasn’t changed.

“You’re insufferable,” she remarks, shaking her head.

“Listen,” he starts after he’s done laughing. “I got into early admission. I’m leaving early.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo says. So that’s what he meant when he said he was leaving before graduation. “Congratulations,” she sincerely says, smiling. There is no reason for her to be sad about this. He hasn’t been in her life for a while now. It doesn’t make sense for her heart to still hurt just because he is actually moving away. “So you’re not attending graduation?”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I explained the circumstances and since senior classes end earlier, they let me go,” he explains. “Why waste an opportunity, right?”

“Right,” Kyungsoo agrees. It’s weird but it really feels like is suddenly deflating when it felt so full just minutes ago.

“I’ll see you around?” Baekhyun asks, his tone hopeful that Kyungsoo doesn’t understand.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says because what else could she say? Even though she’s pretty sure they won’t see each other again.

Kyungsoo is surprised when Baekhyun takes a step forward and pulls her into an embrace. The first time Baekhyun had wrapped an arm around her, during that time they went roller-skating, Baekhyun had told her that he wasn’t going to let her fall. Now Kyungsoo wonders what he really meant by that because Kyungsoo certainly has fallen and she wants to know whether Baekhyun meant not letting her fall for him or whether he meant that he was going to catch her. Either way, it seems like it’s a promise that he can’t keep.

“I’ll see you soon,” Baekhyun whispers through her hair and Kyungsoo shuts her eyes to savor the moment before she pulls away.

“Take care of yourself,” Kyungsoo sincerely wishes him. She doesn’t say she’ll see him soon because it’s going to be more than _soon_ before they see each other again. She’ll have to resign herself to the fact that _this is it_.

“Take care of the daisy, yeah?” Baekhyun tells her before he turns around and disappears into the crowd.

Kyungsoo frowns and turns her attention to the flower in her hand. It looks like an ordinary daisy, she thinks, as she turns the stem in between her fingers. But when she smells the flower, that’s when she gets it. It’s a plastic daisy. A laugh bubbles out of her throat.

“You okay?” Chanyeol asks, appearing beside her. He looks to the direction where Baekhyun had gone, letting Kyungsoo know that he’d seen what happened.

“Yes, of course,” Kyungsoo assures him. She hesitates because this is the most inappropriate time for this, but she looks up at Chanyeol anyway. “Chanyeol, you do know that I… that I’m sorry, right?”

“About what?” Chanyeol asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I mean, I never really said anything when you…” she tries and Chanyeol’s expression clears into realization. Kyungsoo has been an awful best friend in this regard. “I never said anything and I’m really sorry about that.”

Chanyeol cups her face, smiling at her fondly. “You shouldn’t even be apologizing,” he says. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I’m grateful that I’m still your best friend.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Kyungsoo frowns. She can’t imagine life without Chanyeol beside her. He’s the most constant thing in her life after her family.

“I love you, you know,” Chanyeol tells her so truthfully that Kyungsoo tears up. “And that holds true, even if you broke my heart.”

And that’s how it goes, Kyungsoo thinks. Chanyeol just showed and proved to her what love really is like. It’s about trying even when you’re afraid, doing it even if you’re not sure you can, exploring even if you think nothing new is out there, going for the things that you want, and maybe loving even when you aren’t loved back. Even if Baekhyun took half of Kyungsoo’s heart with him, Kyungsoo thinks she loves him anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Kyungsoo,” Joonmyun’s calm voice floats through the receiver, making Kyungsoo miss her and excited to see her. “Are you on your way?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving in a bit,” Kyungsoo says, the phone handset tucked in between her neck and ear. She places one last cardigan inside her bag before zipping it up. She looks around the room to make sure that she hasn’t forgotten anything, although it wouldn’t matter anyway. She was just going away for a weekend. Leaving something behind wouldn’t be detrimental. “Jongdae’s picking me up and he called 10 minutes ago to tell me he was leaving so he’s probably already here.”

“Okay,” Joonmyun says. “I’m just so excited to see you guys!”

“Relax, Joonmyun,” Kyungsoo tries to pacify her, but smiles. “I’m excited, too.” She picks up her bag, takes one quick look at her reflection to make sure that her shoulder-length hair isn’t a mess, and rushes out the door, locking it in her wake.

Kyungsoo watches as the numbers on the elevator panel go down from 7th floor to the ground floor. She smiles as she remembers Joonmyun’s excitement about their get together. Apparently, Chanyeol is going to make it this time and Kyungsoo couldn’t be more pleased.

Joonmyun had made it a point for all of them to see each other every two weeks or, at the very least, once a month. She says that it’s not that hard to come back to New York for a weekend or even just for a day so they could all catch up. Joonmyun, being a stickler for promises and schedules, always ends up getting her way. Mostly, anyway, since Chanyeol hadn’t been able to make it the last time they had a get together. Kyungsoo really missed him. They talked on the phone almost everyday, but it just wasn’t the same without his physical presence. He seemed really happy, though, for which Kyungsoo is very happy about. Aside from Chanyeol, Baekhyun is the only one who’s never come to any of the get togethers.

As soon as Kyungsoo steps out of her building, Jongdae pulls up in his dark blue BMW. Jongdae gets out of the driver’s side and makes his way around to wrap Kyungsoo in the tightest hug he’s ever given her. She grins at him as they pull away, admiring how Jongdae’s features seem more chiseled, and his slightly filled up build, made him seem even manlier and more handsome. His hair is a bit longer, which Kyungsoo thinks is a good look on him.

“You look good,” Kyungsoo tells him once they’ve put her bag in the bag seat and had gotten inside the car. “How have you been?”

“You say that like I wasn’t good looking before,” Jongdae comments as he starts driving. He chuckles when Kyungsoo just laughs at him. “I’m doing great,” he answers her question. “School’s fun so far. How about you?”

Kyungsoo shrugs as she looks out of the window. “I’ve been having fun, too,” she says. Although it’s in a much quieter way that how Jongdae had said it, Kyungsoo means it.

They’ve only been in university for a couple of months but Kyungsoo has already confirmed that it’s everything she imagined and more. The Harvard campus is even more beautiful now that she’s there everyday, walking to her classes, walking on the walkways, past the trees and the grass. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of.

“How’s Liyin?” Kyungsoo asks, shifting in her seat to look at Jongdae. She knows that they’re still together and going strong in spite of the relationship being long distance.

Jongdae smiles that smile that make his eyes sparkle whenever Liyin is mentioned in any sentence. “She’s good,” he answers with a flourish. “She’s always complaining about her professors and how the Socratic method is outdated but I know she secretly loves it.” Kyungsoo chuckles, knowing all too well about the Socratic method. “How are you? Hey, did you hear that Chanyeol’s bringing his girlfriend along?”

Kyungsoo laughs, nodding. “Jongin,” she confirms.

Chanyeol had his sights set on this one girl in one of his classes, whom he kept on gushing and being a giddy schoolboy about because she is so gorgeous and is so hot and is so cute at the same time. When Kyungsoo told Chanyeol to ask her out, he wasted no time doing so and now they’ve been dating for a few months. Interesting how time flies, and how now Chanyeol is going to make Jongin meet his friends.

“He’s obsessed with her,” Jongdae says, shaking his head. But there’s a smile on his face and Kyungsoo knows that Jongdae is just as happy for Chanyeol as she is.

“Well she _is_ incredibly beautiful,” Kyungsoo tells him. She remembers the first time she met Jongin when she’d traveled two hours to go and visit Chanyeol in Yale, four months into the school year.

They’d met up in a café outside of the Yale campus. Chanyeol had arrived first. Kyungsoo spotted him at the table he’d chosen in the corner and Chanyeol had made his way through, immediately picking her up into a tight hug when he reached her. They caught up for a bit as they waited for his girlfriend, talking about their respective classes and how the rest of their friends were doing.

When Jongin finally arrived, in white sneakers and a simple dress that showed off her wonderfully toned legs, Kyungsoo felt almost frumpy in her cardigan. Jongin had sat down beside Chanyeol, who gave her a kiss on the cheek, making her blush, and apologized about how she was late with this winning smile. Kyungsoo felt charmed.

“Chanyeol having a hot girlfriend,” Jongdae comments, shaking his head in disbelief. “And to think his taste was questionable before.” He sneaks a glance at Kyungsoo, who slaps the back of his head when she realizes what he meant. “Hey, don’t assault the driver,” he complains.

Kyungsoo has always hoped that Chanyeol would find someone who would love him and deserve his love. Jongin, she thinks, is all of the above and more. From what Kyungsoo had seen in her short visit, Jongin adores Chanyeol. Kyungsoo is glad that they found each other.

“Is Liyin coming?” Kyungsoo asks.

Jongdae nods his head. “She’s on her way,” he says. “She actually has a big oral coming up so she’s probably leaving early tomorrow morning.”

Kyungsoo leans her head back on the headrest and looks out of the window again. Their get togethers had originally started as just for the five of them. But then Jongdae started asking if he could bring Liyin along and then now Chanyeol is starting to bring Jongin along, too. It’s not that it really bothers Kyungsoo that she’s the only one who’s currently single in her group of friends—she’s happy for each other them.

It just makes her miss Baekhyun even more.

They arrive at The Plaza just in time for their dinner appointment. Kyungsoo gets out of the car and smooths her dress down as Jongdae gives the keys to the valet attendant. He puts an arm around Kyungsoo as they walk in. They make their way to the restaurant, both smiling easily at the manager, who knows both of them well.

The manager personally ushers them to their table, where Joonmyun, Kris, Chanyeol, Jongin and Liyin are already both seated. The manager bows and leaves them and then the hugs and greetings start. Kyungsoo hugs each of them, even Jongin, who shyly returns the affection. Kyungsoo supposes that Chanyeol’s friends’ acceptance is a big surprise to someone so new to the group.

Taking their seats on the round table, Kyungsoo finds herself seated with Joonmyun and Kris to her left, across Chanyeol and Jongin, who are beside Liyin and Jongdae. There’s an empty seat on Kyungsoo’s right, which makes her feel awkward. It makes her feel even more of a third wheel.

“It’s great that we’re all here,” Joonmyun gushes, clapping her hands together. “It’s been so long since we’ve all been complete.”

Kyungsoo raises her hand to call the attention of a waiter. When one swoops in almost immediately, she points to the empty seat beside her. “Could you please take this out? We don’t need—“

“Soo,” Chanyeol urgently stops her.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks in confusion. “Is anyone else coming?” She senses Joonmyun hesitating beside her. She starts to ask again when she hears footsteps behind her and the manager’s crisp “your table, sir.” But before she can turn around, there’s already someone pulling the chair beside her and sitting down.

“Sorry, I’m late. Got a bit stuck in traffic. I really should have taken Jongdae’s offer to—“

Kyungsoo inhales sharply, feeling all the air getting sucked out of her. She would know that voice anywhere.

“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo blurts out when she gets a good look at him. She’s aware of how the table’s very quiet, except for Jongdae who’s snickering, but she doesn’t really care. Baekhyun is here and he’s sitting beside her. He looks even more attractive than she remembers, in his slacks and dress shirt.

Baekhyun is stunned for a second, as if he hadn’t realized that she was there, and then he grins. “Hi Kyungsoo.”

And that simple sentence, that one greeting, is enough for Kyungsoo to fall for Baekhyun all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nighttime in New York is colder than Kyungsoo remembers. She wraps her arms around herself as they step out of the hotel. All the boyfriends take off their coats and put them on their respective girlfriends’ shoulders. It’s just Kyungsoo’s luck that she’s single. Why is she even friends with these people?

Jongdae’s car comes around and Kyungsoo immediately steps forward to get into the back seat because, as the girlfriend, Liyin has the right to sit shotgun. Jongdae and Liyin both pause when Kyungsoo does, though, making her freeze as well.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, glancing at Jongdae.

“Soo,” Baekhyun calls, a gentle hand on her arm. “I’ll take you home.”

Kyungsoo blushes in spite of herself and nods. “What about my things, though?” she asks after both Liyin and Jongdae give her a hug. “And what about getting back to Boston? You’re not going to make me commute back, are you?”

Jongdae rolls his eyes and waves her away. “Of course I’m not going to let you commute back,” he says in exasperation. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He and Liyin get into the car and drive away.

Kris’s car arrives next and he and Joonmyun leave with Chanyeol and Jongin. Kyungsoo waves goodbye as they drive away, blushing even harder at Chanyeol’s words. _Have fun with Baekhyun._

Being alone with Baekhyun after more than a year of having no contact with him isn’t as awkward as Kyungsoo had thought it would be. Baekhyun remains to be talkative and a good conversationalist, leaving Kyungsoo with barely enough time to sort through the heavy thudding in her chest, which just triples in intensity when Baekhyun slides his own jacket around her shoulders.

“Where are we going?” Kyungsoo asks when they drive past the turn that is on the way to her home.

“I was thinking we could talk some place else,” Baekhyun suggests with a small smile. “Just us.”

_Someplace else_ turns out to be _Coney Island_ , on the rooftop of _Kensington Hotel_. Kyungsoo’s mind is awash with memories of Baekhyun’s arm around her, her head resting on his chest as they talked about their dreams and their future. Baekhyun leads her to the exact same spot where they had sat back then and lays out a blanket that he had taken from the trunk of his car, where Kyungsoo’s overnight bag is secure.

“Do you just bring blankets wherever you go?” Kyungsoo teases as they make themselves comfortable.

“It’s useful, isn’t it?” Baekhyun chuckles as he drapes a different blanket on Kyungsoo’s legs since she’s wearing a short dress.

“Too convenient, I think,” Kyungsoo says teasingly, taking the blanket Baekhyun placed on top of her to cover him up as well. She sighs as she looks up at the sky. It’s almost a starless night sky, but the dark blue, almost black, breadth of it still makes her feel breathless.

“How have you been, Soo?” Baekhyun asks, breaking the silence. Kyungsoo blinks and turns her attention to him instead.

“Good,” Kyungsoo answers. “Really good. How about you? Where did you end up going to school?” She realizes that he never really told her about this.

He smiles, almost mysteriously. “I’m doing well, too,” he says. “Life is easy when you’re doing what you want to do.”

“I’m guessing you did take up music production,” she says.

“I did,” he agrees with a nod. Kyungsoo watches as the light in Baekhyun’s eyes dances as he talks about his classes and the projects they’ve already started doing. That passion that she saw in him before is still there, but stronger. It makes Baekhyun even more beautiful, Kyungsoo thinks. “So Harvard, huh?” Baekhyun asks when he’s done talking about himself. He’s smiling at Kyungsoo like he knows how she’s doing.

“Harvard,” Kyungsoo says, smiling back at him. It feels surreal to be sitting beside Baekhyun like this and talking to him when, for almost two years, she kept on wondering how he was doing. She was almost resigned to never really seeing him again.

“How is it going?” Baekhyun wants to know. “What are your classes like? I hear law classes can be terrifying.”

Kyungsoo smiles. “I hear the same thing,” she agrees, lightly chuckling.

“I guess you’re having fun then,” Baekhyun presses, brows furrowing a little, confused with her reaction. “I mean, you’ve always wanted to go to Harvard.”

“It’s like a dream come true,” Kyungsoo tells him, smile widening, and Baekhyun’s eyes light up at this. The possibility of what that could mean makes Kyungsoo feel heady.

“Well I’m glad,” Baekhyun says. “I never doubted that you would get there.”

Kyungsoo purses her lips, laughter hiding behind her lips, as she studies Baekhyun, who looks slightly disappointed at the choice that he thought she made. It makes her wonder what he would do if he finds out…

“You should come to our mini showcase,” Kyungsoo suddenly invites him, deciding that she can’t really hold this information back from Baekhyun, who stills, mouth hanging open. “It’s next, next weekend so hopefully you can have the time to—“

“What mini showcase?” Baekhyun asks. His eyes suddenly widen at Kyungsoo’s big grin. “You didn’t take up a pre-law course,” he blurts out in understanding. Kyungsoo shakes her head. “You’re taking up music?”

“Why not, right?” Kyungsoo says, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

Kyungsoo laughs when Baekhyun suddenly pulls her closer to him and hugs her. So tight that Kyungsoo’s face gets pressed into Baekhyun’s neck and Kyungsoo remembers again that year that Baekhyun came into her life and changed it.

“I can’t believe you,” Baekhyun says when he pulls away. “But that’s amazing, Soo. I’m really happy for you.”

When Kyungsoo had expressed her intentions to maybe apply for music instead of a pre-law course, her parents had given her all their support. It was then she realized that all this time she was the only one who was limiting herself. Sure, her parents, especially her father would have been really happy and proud if Kyungsoo went into Harvard law, but in the end, what mattered to him was that Kyungsoo did what she wanted to. Between law and music, Kyungsoo chose music.

“I couldn’t have done it if it weren’t for you, you know,” she tells him. “I meant it—I still do, when I say that I appreciate you being around back then.” All those feelings, all that Kyungsoo feels for Baekhyun come rushing back out in full force, making her cheeks pink. “I mean, I know that you’re probably—it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad I saw you today, even if I didn’t know you were coming.”

“They wanted it to be a surprise,” Baekhyun tells her sheepishly, rubbing a hand to the back of his neck.

“How did you know this would go well? I mean, we weren’t exactly on the best of terms when you left,” Kyungsoo reminds him, nudging Baekhyun with her shoulder. “I mean, you know, you did break my heart. How did you know I wasn’t still mad at you?” She means for it to come across as a joke, as some childhood memory that they had both been a part of. But the way Baekhyun looks so serious makes her backtrack. “I’m kidding, Baekhyun,” she assures him. “I’m not mad.”

“Do you mean that you’re not mad anymore or that you weren’t mad _at all_?” Baekhyun clarifies. His shoulders are stiff.

“I wasn’t mad at all,” Kyungsoo answers honestly and, somehow that answer makes Baekhyun frown. “I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, the frown clearing from his face. Now there’s just a sad twinkle in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. But you understood, right?”

“Of course,” Kyungsoo says, looking away even as she smiles. She understood and still understands all too well. “We’re friends. I got that loud and clear.”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun starts, sounding slightly panicked.

“I missed New York,” Kyungsoo says, interrupting him. She really doesn’t want to talk about the past and what-could-have-beens. “I always miss New York when I’m away. Boston is nothing like this. I always miss the noise, even though it does get annoying, and how the lights go up at the same time at night. I still think it’s the most beautiful city in the world.” She leans her head on her arms, prompted by her knees. “The city of dreams.”

They’re quiet for a bit and Kyungsoo enjoys the companionable silence. Who would have thought she’d been sitting here again with the very person who brought her here the first time? Maybe it’s the closure that she needs. Somehow Kyungsoo had continued to hope that maybe there’s still hope for her and Baekhyun, even though they haven’t seen each other since high school. But with the way her friends, especially Jongdae, talk about him all the time, she’s never felt like he was completely out of her life. Now, with Baekhyun sitting beside her, she’s proven that.

“Do you remember what I said the last time we were up here?” Baekhyun breaks the silence. Kyungsoo lifts her head to look at him curiously. “Do you remember what we talked about?”

“We talked about a lot of things, Baek,” Kyungsoo says with a chuckle. There’s no way she can remember _all_ the things they’ve talked about at any given time. What Kyungsoo remembers, though, is the way Baekhyun’s voice sounded when he sang to her.

“We talked about me moving around so much,” Baekhyun reminds her, clearing his throat. “And I said that what I learned from that is that you don’t get what you want by staying in one place.”

“Hmm,” Kyungsoo hums, urging him to continue, wondering where he’s going with this. Baekhyun sounds and looks so pensive. She wonders what he’s thinking about.

“There’s another thing I’ve learned from that,” he goes on, taking a deep breath before meeting her gaze. “It’s that you _don’t_ have to move around so much to really _know_ what it is that you want.”

“And what do you want?” Kyungsoo wants to know, leaning closer to him. “Has it changed the last time we were up here?”

Baekhyun shakes his head and there’s a fond smile on his face. “Not really,” he tells her. “It hasn’t changed at all.” He takes another deep breath and turns to face Kyungsoo completely, messing up the blanket they’re sitting on. “Do you know what’s one thing that New York and Boston both have?” he then asks.

Kyungsoo scrunches up her nose as she thinks about it. But before she could open her mouth to say something like “they both have really good universities,” Baekhyun speaks again.

“They both have you, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun tells her, his voice squeaking a bit at the end of the sentence.

“What?” Kyungsoo asks, dumbfounded.

“I left New York, making you think that I left you, too,” Baekhyun explains hurriedly. “But what I wanted to do was go to Massachusetts and make something of myself before you started school in Harvard. Of course, I wasn’t sure that—“

“You’re going to school in Boston?” Kyungsoo asks in surprise.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I go to Berkelee, which is in Cambridge. It’s only 12—“

“12 minutes away, I know,” Kyungsoo finishes for him. She blinks at him in amazement. “Do you mean to tell me…?” All this time, Baekhyun has been in the same state as her? “You go to school with Jongdae?”

“Well, yes,” Baekhyun sheepishly says. “But he’s taking up composition and—“ Kyungsoo lets out a sound that’s a mixture of laughter and wonder. “I wanted to tell you when I saw you—“

“You saw me?” Kyungsoo interjects.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “I go to Boston everyday because I have friends who are studying in Harvard as well and—I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how you would take it and I wasn’t sure if you were still mad at me. I mean, you never tried contacting me.” He pouts.

“How would I have known how to contact you?” Kyungsoo asks incredulously.

“I left my phone number with Chanyeol _and_ Jongdae,” Baekhyun says, still pouting. “I was so sure you would ask them.”

“Is this your way of playing hard to get?” Kyungsoo accuses. “Did you break my heart and then hope I would go after you?”

“Well that wasn’t exactly…” Baekhyun starts guiltily.

“I can’t believe this,” Kyungsoo scoffs. She throws the blanket off her and stands up. She’s not exactly upset, but the thought that Baekhyun hadn’t meant to reject her makes her skin tingle and her heart flutter.

“Soo.” Baekhyun stands up and follows her to the rooftop railing. “I just didn’t want to make a commitment when I was afraid I would hurt you,” he tries to explain. “You know me, I’m not one for steady relationships because they never last because I never make them last. But when I met you, I started wondering if I could make it work, and then I realized that I didn’t want to just make it _work_.” Kyungsoo looks at him. “I wanted to make it last.”

Kyungsoo just stares at Baekhyun, stunned at the confession that she never thought would ever come from his lips.

“You didn’t talk to me for more than a year,” Kyungsoo points out.

Baekhyun hesitates. “I was waiting for the right time,” he tells her.

“Well what if I’d gone and had a boyfriend when I went to Harvard? What if I met someone, what would you have done?” Kyungsoo demands. It scares her to think that they could have been together and the chance that could have been taken away if Kyungsoo had decided to just move on.

“I wouldn’t bother you, of course,” Baekhyun says. “I’m not expecting that you still feel the same way. I just wanted to tell you anyway that I just wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to do things right between us. I didn’t want to take chances.” He breathes deeply and looks up at the sky. “If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me, of course I’d leave you alone. But if you do…”

Kyungsoo frowns at Baekhyun, tracing the contours of his face with her gaze. Kyungsoo had missed him so much and had wondered everyday what it would have been like if things had gone differently for the both of them? As it stands, Kyungsoo doesn’t really have to wonder so much now.

“I hate you,” Kyungsoo mutters and Baekhyun looks at him, a smile forming on his lips. “You already know what I’m going to say.”

Baekhyun smirks, one end of his lips going up higher than the other, as he faces her. “Does this mean I win?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“No,” Kyungsoo replies, shaking her head. She takes a step forward as he takes her hands in his. “This means _I_ \--“

Baekhyun doesn’t let her finish and shuts her up with a kiss. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen before they fall shut, lashes fluttering against her cheeks.

It’s more than Kyungsoo ever thought it would be. Baekhyun’s kiss tastes like hope, longing and affection bundled into one sweet and perfect package, making Kyungsoo tingle from head to toe. She wraps her arms around his neck and hopes that he feels the same through her kisses.

When they had met, Kyungsoo was 17, young, naïve, completely unaware of the world around her, Baekhyun was 18, young and too jaded at such a young age. As their friendship grew, as they became closer, they both learned from each other that the world isn’t what they think it is, that the world is beautiful and that there are many things in it they could be happy about. Kyungsoo learned to find herself and to be herself. Baekhyun learned to stop running away and pushing people away. Together, they learned to trust themselves and each other.

Now, they’re still young, but a bit more grown up, a bit more mature. Kyungsoo’s eyes are opened to the wonders and the opportunities the world has for her and Baekhyun is more open in a way that he hasn’t been ever since he was a child. Now, they can look outside of themselves and see what more is out there.

This has been a long time coming and Kyungsoo is glad that it’s here now.

Finally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes:  
1\. The fic is set in 1980's New York. I tried to be as faithful as I could to what New York and what the 80's were like. It really was a lot of fun researching and writing for this so I hope I did it justice.  
2\. I want to thank Lonio, Reeza, Chrys, Krystal and Clara for helping out with the beta work. This wouldn't be possible at all without all of your help. Thank you for the encouragement and the hand-holding. <3  
3\. Songs used for this fic are included in this playlist that I made for it: http://8tracks.com/airplanewishes/the-less-we-say-about-it-the-better-baeksoo  
4\. Thank you for reading. <3  
 

 

 

 


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